


fool's gold

by knightspur



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst and Humor, Developing Relationship, Explicit Sexual Content, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Meet the Family, Pining, Slow Burn, Switching, post-university, side gyuhao - Freeform, side verkwan - Freeform, side wonhui
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-10
Updated: 2017-11-21
Packaged: 2019-01-15 14:51:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 58,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12323220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/knightspur/pseuds/knightspur
Summary: “Oh my god there’s gonna be a next one,” Soonyoung says, shutting his eyes tight like he’ll somehow be able to block out the world. “Minnie you have to save me.”“What am I supposed to do?” Seokmin asks, laughing. “I don’t think I could pass for your girlfriend, hyung.”Soonyoung’s eyes flutter open, going wide as an idea finally occurs to him. “That’s it!”“Are you asking me to put on a skirt?” Seokmin asks, his eyes curving into small crescents as he smiles. “Because I don’t think I have the legs for it.”“No,” Soonyoung says, shaking his head and sitting up now. “But I can tell my parents you’re who I’m dating.”--Or, Soonyoung is tired of his parents setting him up on blind dates and turns to his best friend for help.





	1. best laid plans

“I need someone to tell my parents that I don’t need to get married,” Soonyoung says, his voice mournful, hiding behind his hands. “If they send me on one more blind date I’m gonna scream.”

Seokmin grins, watching Soonyoung hide. Seungkwan, sitting in the booth next to Soonyoung, rolls his eyes. “That’s your job, isn’t it.”

“I can’t,” Soonyoung days, dropping his hands with a sigh. “What am I supposed to say?”

“That you’re 24 and no one in their right mind would wanna marry you?” Jihoon says, wiggling into the empty seat next to Seokmin. Soonyoung pouts at that, glaring at Jihoon.

“Are you saying I’m not a good husband to you?” Soonyoung says, kicking his feet under the table. Jihoon rolls his eyes, reaching over Seokmin to grab some of the kimchi he has in front of him.

“I’m saying we aren’t married,” Jihoon says, rolling his eyes. “You better have ordered plenty of meat if I have to listen to this.”

“My own husband doesn’t want to hear about my dates,” Soonyoung says, shaking his head. Jihoon smiles just a little, rolling his eyes. Personally, Seokmin isn’t a fan of hearing about Soonyoung’s dates either, but it’s a fact he keeps to himself. But, it’s Friday, and somehow Soonyoung’s family always has someone new for him to meet on Saturday. Seokmin covers the food in front of him with one hand when Jihoon reaches over to steal more from him. When Jihoon shoots him a glare, he grins in return.

“Do something cute,” he says, brushing Jihoon’s hand away. He can hear Seungkwan muffling a laugh, but he doesn’t break eye contact. Jihoon glares back at him, and for a moment, Seokmin thinks his desire for food might win out. But, he’s so focused on Jihoon’s face that he doesn’t see the hand coming up to smack the back of his head. Seokmin yelps, more out of surprise than pain, lifting his hand away from the food to cover the back of his head.

Soonyoung bursts out in laughter as Jihoon steals the whole dish for himself. Seokmin whines at the loss, sinking down in the seat, sulking. “He stole from me.”

“Try it again and I’ll take your wallet,” Jihoon says, grinning as he sticks another piece in his mouth. Seokmin sighs, staring sadly at the food that was once his.

“He has that kicked puppy look,” Soonyoung says, chuckling. He reaches over the table, giving one of Seokmin’s cheeks a playful pinch. Jihoon spares Seokmin a glance before shrugging.

“That’s how he’ll learn,” Jihoon says as if Seokmin is an ill-behaved dog. Before Seokmin has the chance to formulate a response to that, the waiter shows up carrying all the meat they ordered, and Seokmin decides to consider things between him and Jihoon settled.

“Why don’t you just tell them you’re seeing someone?” Seungkwan asks, carefully distributing the meat on the grill in front of him. Seokmin considers sitting on his hands to remove the temptation to steal any before Seungkwan declares it perfect. The last time he tried, he nearly ended up with scissors stabbed through his hand.

Soonyoung doesn’t seem entirely eager to return to the topic of his dating life, but he does so with a sigh. “If I tell them that, I’ll be expected to have someone for them to meet.”

“Guess you’ll have to keep up with the dates then,” Seungkwan says, his focus more on the food than Soonyoung.

Soonyoung makes a face like death is a concept he prefers. “The last girl they set me up with spent an hour asking questions about my feet.”

“You feet?” Seokmin asks, grinning.

“Apparently being a dancer means they’re gonna fall off or something,” Soonyoung says. “And she kept saying ‘dancer’ like she didn’t think I really had a job.”

“Did you give her your card?” Seungkwan asks, flipping the meat before shooting a glare at Seokmin. “Quit drooling.”

Seokmin makes an affronted face, causing Jihoon next to him to break out laughing, smacking Seokmin on the shoulder. Soonyoung smiles as well but it’s softer, conspiratorial. While Jihoon and Seungkwan are still laughing at Seokmin, Soonyoung reaches over with his chopsticks, snatching a nearly finished piece of meat before Seungkwan can stop him. Seokmin leans forward, his mouth open, laughing when Soonyoung drops the meat in it for him.

“Hot!” Seokmin yelps, chewing anyways. He grins when Seungkwan sighs.

“You two,” he says, shaking his head.

“They’re made for each other,” Jihoon says, rolling his eyes. “A matching pair of idiots.”

“Seokminnie is my soulmate,” Soonyoung pronounces, beaming and reaching over to grab Seokmin’s hand. Seokmin would like to pretend he’s past the time in his life where Soonyoung saying things like that made his heart leap into his throat, but he isn’t. When it comes to Soonyoung, Seokmin isn’t sure if he’ll ever get over it. He squeezes Soonyoung’s hand in return, switching to his old man voice.

“That’s why we’ve been together the last 60 years,” he says, and Soonyoung grins, holding Seokmin’s hand up.

“If I give you food will you stop?” Seungkwan asks, though there’s a smile on his face. Soonyoung nods eagerly, letting go of Seokmin’s hand. Seokmin pretends not to notice the look Seungkwan sends in his direction.

They distribute the food and lapse into talking about things other than Soonyoung’s blind dates, but Seokmin can’t stop thinking about it. Mostly because he can’t let go of the fear that eventually Soonyoung will end up getting set up with someone he actually likes, someone he will end up marrying. And then Seokmin’s entire life will be over.

It’s never really been simple; being in love with his best friend, but things only seem to get more complicated as time goes on. Now that they’re out of college— getting real jobs and actually starting their lives, Seokmin feels like he let any chance he really did have with Soonyoung pass him by. He’s left trying to swallow down his feeling and hoping he doesn’t choke on them. Seungkwan is the only person who knows, and usually, he’s not so sympathetic to Seokmin and his one-sided love (usually the phrase is accompanied by a list of choice adjectives).

“What if I get someone to pretend?” Soonyoung asks suddenly, his mouth half-stuffed with food. Seungkwan blinks, and Jihoon hardly looks up.

“Pretend? To date you?” Seungkwan asks, laughing. “Are you gonna hire someone?”

“Do you think that would work?” Soonyoung asks, tilting his head to the side thoughtfully. Jihoon stares at him, likely wondering how he ended up discussing this, or how he ended up here, to begin with. Seungkwan shakes his head.

“Of course it won’t,” he says, tapping his fingers against his drink. “How do you even— who would you pay?”

“I dunno,” Soonyoung says, looking more thoughtful than put off. Seokmin bites the inside of his cheek, trying to remove the temptation to do something stupid like volunteering himself for the job. No payment required— he’d do it for the promise of Soonyoung’s attention. Soonyoung blinks, looking at Jihoon. “Do you think there’s a service for that?”

“For fooling your parents into thinking you have a life?” He asks, rolling his eyes. “You might find some creeps online.”

“Well that’s no help,” Soonyoung says, sighing. “If I have to go on one more of these stupid dates I don’t know what I’m gonna do.”

“Don’t go,” Jihoon says, shaking his head. “You’re never gonna get out of it if you don’t.”

“You want me to stand up someone my parents picked out?” Soonyoung asks, shaking his head. “You’re a madman.”

“Well do you have a better plan?” Jihoon says, more focused on eating than listening to Soonyoung.

“I could ask Bora?” Soonyoung says, scratching the back of his head.

“You wanna date someone you work with?” Seungkwan says, frowning. Seokmin swallows, his eyes his eyes fixed to his phone.

“ _Pretend_ to date,” Soonyoung says, shaking his head. “I think she’d help.”

Seungkwan shakes his head, staring at Soonyoung like he’s grown a second head. “You can’t really be considering asking your coworker to pretend to date you.”

“Why not?” Soonyoung shoots back, turning toward Seungkwan. “Who else should I ask?”

“Ask Jihoon-hyung,” Seungkwan says, once again before Seokmin has the chance to say anything.

“Your parents know I don’t like you,” Jihoon says, rolling his eyes. “And I think faking it is stupid.”

“Well, then you can come on this date with me,” Soonyoung says, pouting.

Seokmin glances up from his phone and does his best to ignore the significant look on Seungkwan’s face. He licks his lips, laughing when Soonyoung flops himself dramatically across the table, narrowly avoiding a disaster with his flailing limbs. “I guess I don’t have any friends.”

Seokmin grins, reaching over the table to pat the back of Soonyoung’s head. “There there, hyung. I’m sure it won’t be that bad.”

“It’s gonna be awful,” Soonyoung mumbles into his arms before sitting up with a sigh. “I guess I’ll have to accept my fate.”

“Sounds like it,” Jihoon says, rolling his eyes as he slides out of his seat. “If you die I’ll make sure your plants get watered.”

“At least they’ll survive,” Soonyoung says, grinning before looking back at Seokmin. “Are you taking the subway home?”

“Yeah,” Seokmin says, standing up as well. “You coming?”

The two of them have apartments only a few blocks apart, meaning Seokmin sees him more than anyone else.

“Yeah,” Soonyoung says, tucking Seokmin under his arm. He looks back at Seungkwan, his grin getting wider. “Tell Hansol we said hi.”

“I wish you wouldn’t say that every time,” Seungkwan says, following the two of them out. “I do have my own place.”

“That you never stay in,” Seokmin says, laughing as well. “When are you just gonna move in?”

“I like my place,” Seungkwan says, shaking his head. “And Hansol only has space for him and the dog.”

Seokmin reaches, grabbing Seungkwan’s sleeve. “Please send me more pictures of her.”

At that, Seungkwan smiles, rolling his eyes. “If I go see him I will.”

“Yes!” Seokmin cheers, leaning into Soonyoung’s side. “I get puppy pictures tonight.”

Ahead of them, Jihoon laughs, covering the sound of Seungkwan groaning. They part ways with the other two at the door, but Soonyoung keeps his arm loosely around Seokmin’s shoulders, smile bright on his face.

“What time is your date?” Seokmin asks, chuckling as Soonyoung groans, throwing his head back.

“It’s at 2:30— I gotta teach a class and shower first,” he says, sighing. Seokmin leans his head toward Soonyoung, grinning.

“Is it really gonna be so bad?” Seokmin asks. Soonyoung sighs, nodding his head.

“It’s gonna be awful,” he says, squeezing. “She’s my mom’s dermatologist’s niece. My parents haven’t even met her.”

Seokmin nods, biting his lip. When they get on the train, Soonyoung releases Seokmin’s shoulder, dropping into an open seat. Seokmin sits next to him, bouncing his knee up and down.

He’s struggling with the words that are resting on the tip of his tongue; it seems like it would be the easiest thing in the world, to offer to do whatever he can to make Soonyoung feel a little better. But Seokmin has a little bit of experience with keeping his feelings a secret, and he’s sure this won’t lead him anywhere good. He leans his shoulder gently against Soonyoung’s instead.

“I still think Bora-noona would help if I asked,” Soonyoung says, his hand resting close to Seokmin’s. Seokmin laughs, shaking his head.

“You don’t think she’d find that weird? If you wanted to pretend you were dating her?”

“Probably,” Soonyoung says, a wry smile on his face. “But it’d still be better, don’t you think?”

“I dunno,” Seokmin says, laughing. “My parents aren’t that worried about marrying me off.”

“That’s because everyone loves you,” Soonyoung says, and the affection in his voice makes Seokmin want to curl up and die on the spot. “It’s not like you’re going to have a hard time.”

Seokmin laughs at that, just a shade too loud and hard, making people around them turn to stare for a second. Soonyoung rolls his eyes, shoving at Seokmin’s shoulder. “Stop that.”

“It was funny,” Seokmin says, still grinning, even at his own expense. Being the butt of the joke has never bothered him, though he knows Soonyoung well enough to know that’s not what he was aiming for.

“It wasn’t a joke,” Soonyoung says, but he still smiles. Seokmin takes that in itself as a victory.

“I’m highly in demand,” Seokmin says, leaning back in his seat, keeping his feet tucked under it to make sure they’re not in anyone’s way. “That’s why I spend my Fridays with you.”

Soonyoung laughs, his head leaning sideways to rest on Seokmin’s shoulder. “Well, I’m glad you do.”

“Me too,” Seokmin says, leaning his cheek against the top of Soonyoung’s head.

**{* * *}**

Soonyoung can think of a lot of places he’d rather be than the seat he’s in right now. Taking his college finals again, locked in a room with no one but Wonwoo for company, in one of those Chinese food places that only serve spicy food. Instead, he’s in a cafe glaring at the neat foam heart on his latte, on a blind date.

This is at least the fifteenth one his family has set up in the past few months and Soonyoung has no idea where his parents have managed to find this many girls his age to set him up with, but not one of them has been anything short of terrible. The girl sitting across from him is in the middle of telling him a story about a designer bag that Soonyoung is struggling to pay attention to. He drums his fingers on his thigh, his focus drifting toward the rain falling against the window next to him.

“I like it when the weather is like this,” he says since he’s already exhausted all of his blind date topics anyway. Yes, he works as a choreographer. No, not for anyone that famous. He doesn’t like spicy food. He likes animals but his apartment doesn’t allow pets.

His date looks out the window with a scowl on her pretty face. “The rain makes it too cold.”

“I think it’s kinda refreshing,” Soonyoung says, trying to smile. Carrying on a conversation about the weather seems to be beyond him as well. His social skills have taken a sharp dive since he started these dates.

“You don’t look like you’re in condition to be a dancer,” she says, raising one neat eyebrow. Soonyoung frowns at the comment, one hand coming to rest nervously on his belly.

This date isn’t going well either. Her words hang in the air between the two of them while Soonyoung tries to think of something to say.

“I work out,” he finally says, laughing nervously. It’s not a lie, though all the time he spends in the gym with Ten hasn't exactly yielded abs for either of them. She nods her head slightly, though the look on her face makes it obvious she doesn’t believe him.

His phone vibrates in his pocket, and Soonyoung does his best not to sigh in relief. He waits until she starts talking again to pull it out, biting down on a smile when Seokmin’s name shows up in his notifications.

**(Seokminnie):** _do you think someone will ever love me as much as jun loves himself?_

**(10:10):** _keep dreaming_

Soonyoung grins, keeping his fingers wrapped around his phone. Seokmin never fails to make him smile, even if sneaking text messages is only going to make him look ruder. It’s not like this date can go much worse.

**(Seokminnie):** _how’s your future wife?_

At that, Soonyoung smiles a little less. He doesn’t roll his eyes, but it takes more effort than it should. He looks up from his phone again, taking a sip from his now cooled coffee.

**(10:10):** _my future is bleak and scared of dogs_

**(Seokminnie):** _that’s blasphemy_

“You must like kids,” his date says, and Soonyoung realizes in an utter moment of panic that he’s forgotten her name.

“I like teaching them,” Soonyoung says, smiling though he’s sure it looks entirely too forced. “I see a lot of little kids and teenagers who wanna audition for entertainment companies.”

“Your salary must be like a teacher’s, then?” She asks, her fingers tapping on the side of her coffee. Soonyoung bites the inside of his cheek, reminding himself again that it’s rude to sigh when he’s asked a question.

It’s another forty-five minutes of awkward conversation and a very wooden _’we should talk again’_ before Soonyoung is free, standing in the rain outside of the cafe and running his fingers back through his hair.

**(10:10):** _I’ll do literally anything to avoid another blind date_

He slides his phone away after texting Seokmin, shaking his head. Resigned to having to explain to his mom exactly why _this_ one didn’t work out, Soonyoung turns to make his way home, shrugging his jacket up further on his shoulders. He doesn’t mind the rain, though he does wish he had a hat on at least.

**(Seokminnie):** _anything like tell your mom you don’t wanna get married??_

Soonyoung looks at the message as he steps on the train, wrinkling his nose. Seokmin has him cornered there. Soonyoung hasn’t figured out how to have that conversation with his parents yet, either of them. They seem so determined to get him to settle down, even though Soonyoung is barely two years out of college.

**(10:10):** _anything but that_

He smiles, dropping into the first seat he finds, leaning his head back a little. It feels like a waste of getting so dressed up to simply accept his failure and go home.

**(10:10):** _are you still shopping with Junnie?_

**(Seokminnie):** _he left me :( :(_

**(10:10):** _meet me instead?_

**(Seokminnie):** _yes!!!!_

The response makes Soonyoung grin and sit up a little straighter in his seat. They make a plan to meet up at a BBQ place that’s close to both of their apartments, and Soonyoung manages to beat Seokmin there. It’s a good thing, too, because as soon as he finds a comfortable place to sit, the skies open up and the rain starts in earnest.

Seokmin shows up ten minutes later, soaked, with his hair stuck to the sides of his face and his shirt plastered to him. Soonyoung looks up at him and laughs, waving his hand. “You look like you fell in a river.”

“I might as well have,” Seokmin says, shaking his head like a dog in an effort to get some of the water out. The girl standing behind the counter glares at him, though her expression softens when Seokmin looks up with a wide smile on his face. “I guess I don’t need to shower later.”

Soonyoung laughs, handing him a napkin to dry his face off. Seokmin takes it, dropping into the seat across from Soonyoung, sighing. “And you still look nice.”

“I avoided it,” he says, rolling his eyes when Seokmin tries to hand the napkin back to him. Seokmin laughs, pushing his wet hair out of his face as best as he can, water still dripping off of his forehead. “So how bad was it?”

Soonyoung groans, flopping forward onto the table and shutting his eyes. “I don’t want to date ever again.”

Seokmin laughs, leaning forward and patting Soonyoung’s head gently. “I think that’s a little extreme, hyung.”

“Is it?” Soonyoung asks, turning his head to the side to look up at Seokmin. “What if I tell my parents I’m gonna go be a monk?”

“I don’t think that’ll work,” Seokmin says, his grin getting wider. “Did she ask about your feet again?”

“She asked how much less I make than a teacher,” Soonyoung says, hiding behind his arms once again.

“That’s quite a question for the first date,” Seokmin says, leaning his chin on the table as well, sitting at eye level with Soonyoung. “Was she really scared of dogs?”

“Terrified,” Soonyoung says, propping his head up finally. He’s a little surprised to see Seokmin so close, but it’s a welcome sort of surprise. “She didn’t even like talking about them.”

“I hope you gave her a phone number with six digits,” Seokmin says, combing his damp bangs away from his face. “At least you have a week to figure out what to do before the next one, right?”

“Oh my god there’s gonna be a next one,” Soonyoung says, shutting his eyes tight like he’ll somehow be able to block out the world. “Minnie you have to save me.”

“What am I supposed to do?” Seokmin asks, laughing. “I don’t think I could pass for your girlfriend, hyung.”

Soonyoung’s eyes flutter open, going wide as an idea finally occurs to him. “That’s it!”

“Are you asking me to put on a skirt?” Seokmin asks, his eyes curving into small crescents as he smiles. “Because I don’t think I have the legs for it.”

“No,” Soonyoung says, shaking his head and sitting up now. “But I can tell my parents you’re who I’m dating.”

Something in Seokmin’s expression changes, just for a moment, too quick for Soonyoung to really grasp the emotion.

“Won’t they wanna meet me then?” He asks, his voice squeaking out nervously. Soonyoung shrugs, smiling still.

“Yeah, but it won’t be a big deal. They’ll like you,” Soonyoung says, tapping his fingers excitedly on the table. “And they’ll leave me alone about the whole dating thing.”

Seokmin swallows, his smile fading a little. “Aren’t they expecting you to bring a girl home, hyung?”

“They don’t care. They haven’t set me up with any guys because I don’t think they’d know where to start,” Soonyoung says, shaking his head. “The only thing weirder than them setting me up with girls would be getting set up with guys.”

“Um,” Seokmin says, rubbing the back of his neck. He’s not quite frowning, but there’s an unsettled look on his face that Soonyoung isn’t entirely used to seeing.

“You don’t have to,” he says quickly, holding both hands up in front of him. “I’m not gonna twist your arm! Or die of bad dates.”

“No, it’s fine,” Seokmin says, his smile picking up again. “If it helps out, I don’t mind sitting down with your parents and pretending, I guess.”

“Really?” Soonyoung asks, pounding his fists on the table. “You might actually save my life, Lee Seokmin.”

Seokmin laughs at that, pushing his bangs back once again. “Can we eat, then?”

**{* * *}**

“You know,” Seungkwan says, tapping his foot on the neat wooden floor of his apartment, staring down at Seokmin like he’s made a mess on the carpet. “You’ve done a lot of stupid things before, but I think this is the worst one.”

“It’s not that big a deal!” Seokmin says, holding his hands up and smiling. “Really! It’s pretty much just dinner with his parents sometime.”

“We both know that’s not what this is about,” Seungkwan says, frowning but dropping to sit on the couch next to Seokmin. He doesn’t bother to run down the rest; that Seokmin should just talk to Soonyoung about his feelings, that Soonyoung cares about him and telling him wouldn’t be the end of their friendship.

They’ve been down that road plenty of times before, there’s no point in Seungkwan giving him the same speech all over again. Seokmin lists sideways, leaning against Seungkwan with a little pout on his face.

“I know what I’m doing,” he says, smiling and rubbing his cheek on Seungkwan’s shoulder. “It’ll be okay.”

“You say that any time you do something stupid,” Seungkwan says, though he turns to ruffle his fingers through Seokmin’s hair anyway.

“But things always work out!” Seokmin says, sitting up with a shake of his head. “So I think I’ll be okay.”

“Aren’t I the older one here?” He adds after a moment, a comment that Seungkwan simply ignores.

“It’s your own heart you’re playing with,” Seungkwan says, shaking his head once more. “What made you agree to this, anyway?”

“He asked,” Seokmin says, glancing down his lap. “I figured it wasn’t that big a favor, and you know he really hates those dates…”

“You are in so far over your head,” Seungkwan says, shaking his head. There’s a small, fond smile on his face anyway, and Seokmin beams back.

“I can handle it!” Seokmin says, flopping over so his head is pillowed on Seungkwan’s thighs instead, puffing his cheeks out as he looks up. “Can we talk about something else?”

“Like what?” Seungkwan says, looking down and rolling his eyes.

“Hansol’s dog,” he says, utterly serious. “She’s so cute. I’m going to kidnap her.”

Seungkwan rolls his eyes, reaching over to grab one of the pillows on his couch, smacking Seokmin in the forehead with it.

“You can’t even have a dog,” Seungkwan says, after lifting the pillow away. “You’re not allowed.”

“I’ll move out,” Seokmin says, taking the pillow and hugging it to his chest. “I can find a place that allows dogs!”

“You can’t move,” Seungkwan says, shaking his head, though he makes no effort to shove Seokmin out of his lap. “You have a lease.”

“It’s for _Daisy_ , Seungkwannie,” Seokmin says, frowning. “I’ll do what I have to do.”

“You’re absurd,” Seungkwan says, laughing.

“Didn’t you say Jeonghan-hyung was coming over?” Seokmin says, stretching his legs to occupy the full space of Seungkwan’s couch. It’s not quite long enough to fully accommodate him, his feet hanging over one of the arms. Seungkwan nods, shrugging his shoulders.

“Yes, but he does everything on Jeonghan time,” he says, leaning forward to grab his phone from the table, squishing Seokmin’s head for a moment. “So he’ll be here eventually.”

“Huh,” Seokmin says, digging his own phone out of his pocket. “I asked Soonyoung-hyung but he has to work tonight.”

“Have you really thought about this?” Seungkwan asks, looking down at Seokmin with a sigh. Apparently, the change in subject was short lived.

“There’s not much to think about, is there?” He says, shrugging his shoulders. “It’s just dinner. I have dinner with him all the time.”

Seungkwan sighs, opening his mouth to say something else. A knock at the door stops him and Seokmin sits up. Seungkwan glares at him as he stands, shaking his head. “We aren’t done talking about this.”

Seokmin rolls his eyes, sticking his tongue out at Seungkwan. Ignoring the childish gesture, Seungkwan opens the door, smiling at Jeonghan. “Hey, Jeonghan-hyung.”

“Seungkwannie!” Jeonghan says, smiling and pulling him into a quick hug. “Do I finally get to meet your supposed boyfriend?”

He peeks around Seungkwan’s shoulder, his smile falling when he sees only Seokmin sitting on the couch. Seokmin grins at the pout on Jeonghan’s face, waving at him. “Sorry, I’m all you get.”

Jeonghan kicks his shoes off, dropping to sit next to Seokmin with a sigh. “He’s keeping his boy away from me.”

“Hansol?” Seokmin asks, chuckling when Jeonghan nods his head. “Probably.”

“Don’t encourage him,” Seungkwan says, glaring at the two of them. “I’m not hiding Hansol from anyone.”

“But I don’t get to meet him?” Jeonghan asks, crossing his arms over his chest. “You think I won’t approve?”

“I think you’re not my dad,” Seungkwan says, rolling his eyes. “He was busy tonight, hyung. I’ll call him and see if he has time this week.”

He leans against Jeonghan’s side as he sits, shaking his head. “I’m not hiding him from you.”

“Good,” Jeonghan says, the smile returning to his face. “What else is going on then?”

It’s quick, but Seungkwan shoots a small glare in Seokmin’s direction. Not so quick, however, that Jeonghan misses it. He leans to look at the both of them, lifting one eyebrow.

“Something _is_ going on?” He asks, and Seokmin shakes his head too quickly. Seungkwan might be quick to tell Jeonghan that he isn’t their parent, but it certainly feels to Seokmin like he’s trying to lie to one. “What is it?”

“Seokmin-hyung is doing something stupid,” Seungkwan says, shaking his head. “But I wouldn’t exactly call that news.”

“I’m just having dinner with someone’s parents,” he says, hoping that if he sticks close to the truth it’ll be easier to pass by the subject. “It’s nothing serious.”

“You’re pretending to be his boyfriend,” Seungkwan says. Apparently, he’s not planning on letting Seokmin get away with anything so easily. Jeonghan’s eyes narrow at the both of them.

“Who?” He asks, looking first at Seokmin, then at Seungkwan. Over Jeonghan’s shoulder, Seokmin shoots a pleading look. Up to now, Seokmin has managed to keep everyone except for Seungkwan from finding out about his feelings for Soonyoung. It doesn’t paint a pretty picture, having everyone he knows find out he’s head over heels for his best friend.

Seungkwan licks his lips, then smiles. “One of his colleagues. No one you’d know.”

Jeonghan doesn’t look like he really believes either of them, but Seokmin flops both arms over Jeonghan’s shoulders with a grin, nuzzling the back of his neck. “Have you seen Hansol’s puppy? She’s so cute.”

With a laugh, Jeonghan shakes his head, turning halfway to look at Seokmin. “No, but I’m sure you have plenty of pictures.”

Seokmin grins at him, nodding his head with a laugh. “I do. We should order food first, though.”

He looks at Seungkwan from over Jeonghan’s shoulder, giving him a thankful smile for not selling him out. Seungkwan doesn’t act like he’s seen it, but he smiles when Jeonghan leans back into Seokmin, pulling his phone out. “What do you want, then?”

They feed their orders through Seungkwan, who after so many years still manages to look disturbed at how much food Seokmin can eat. It’s after they’ve settled in with the food and a bad movie that Jeonghan starts asking questions again.

“So is this coworker of yours cute?” He asks licking sauce off of one of his chopsticks. Seokmin almost inhales rice directly into his lungs, coughing in surprise.

“What?” He manages to wheeze after a moment, smacking himself in the chest in an effort to breathe properly again. Jeonghan gives him an unimpressed look in return.

“The one who doesn’t exist,” he says, rolling his eyes. “You two aren’t great liars.”

“I have cute coworkers,” Seokmin argues, finally starting to breathe again. Jeonghan drops his chopsticks to the table with a heavy sigh.

“I can’t believe I lost one of my precious brothers today,” he says, lowering his head like he’s going to start crying.

“Aw, hyung,” Seokmin says, whining in return. “Don’t be like that!”

“You’re keeping secrets from me,” he says, still sulking. “And you have my dear Seungkwannie helping you.”

“I told him it was dumb already,” Seungkwan says. “I’m not a part of this.”

“No one wants me in their lives,” Jeonghan says, ignoring Seungkwan entirely. “I don’t get to meet Hansol or know who Seokminnie is seeing.”

“I’m not seeing him,” Seokmin says, his face burning. “It’s just because of his parents.”

Jeonghan pauses in his tirade, narrowing his eyes at Seokmin. “Really?”

“Yeah,” Seokmin says, holding his hands up. “They’ve been trying to set him up, so I offered to help. That’s all.”

“You’re pretending to date Soonyoung?” Jeonghan asks, shaking his head. Seokmin stares blankly for a moment, trying to catch up to exactly what Jeonghan is saying. Jeonghan laughs at the look. “It isn’t that hard to figure out.”

Seokmin is still at a loss, so Seungkwan reaches out to pat his knee. “It’s the kind of thing only you two could think up.”

“Fine. It’s Soonyoung,” Seokmin says, flopping back into his seat. “I’m just trying to help him out.”

“So why is that a big secret?” Jeonghan asks, lifting both of his eyebrows. For a long moment, both Seokmin and Seungkwan are totally silent. Jeonghan lunches out of his seat, turning to look down at them. “No way!”

Seokmin groans, hiding his face in his hands. “It isn’t what you think!”

“You’re in love with Soonyoung?” Jeonghan says, pressing a hand to his mouth. “How did I not see that?”

“It’s only been since high school,” Seungkwan says, shrugging. “Soonyoung hasn’t caught on either.”

“That long?” Jeonghan asks, reaching out to take Seokmin’s hands once he sits again. “Our poor Seokminnie.”

“It hasn’t been that long,” Seokmin says, squeezing Jeonghan’s hands with a sigh. “Well, I didn’t realize it until a few years ago.”

“And you didn’t just tell him?” Jeonghan asks, and Seokmin can feel himself withering.

“No,” he says, pulling his hands back. “I don’t want him to know.”

He doesn’t want anyone to know— getting pitying looks from Seungkwan is already bad enough on its own. “But… he’s your best friend. Don’t you think it’d be easier just to tell him?”

“No,” Seokmin says, too sharp and quick. “I don’t want things to be different.”

“Soonyoung wouldn’t be upset by something like that,” Jeonghan says, his voice soft like Seokmin is a scared animal he’s trying to soothe.

Seungkwan rolls his eyes. “He doesn’t listen.”

“I know he wouldn’t be mad,” Seokmin says, shaking his head. “But he doesn’t feel that way about me, and he wouldn’t want to hurt my feelings. So— things would be different. I don’t want that.”

It seems like Jeonghan doesn’t have a good argument against that one. Seokmin shakes his head, putting a smile on his face once more. “I’m just doing this to help out.”

The sad look on Jeonghan’s face lingers, evidence of a soft heart that he rarely lets anyone else see. So, Seokmin leans forward to press a messy kiss to his cheek. Jeonghan yelps in surprise, leaning back with a quick shake of his head. “Gross!”

“Do you want another one?” Seokmin asks, holding his arms out and pouting his lips.

Jeonghan shakes his head, trying to wipe his face clean with his sleeve. “Absolutely not. Stay over there.”

Seokmin laughs at that, dropping his arms and turning back to his food, rather than teasing Jeonghan. Seungkwan sighs softly at him, brushing his bangs out of his face.

“You’re in over your head,” he says, and Jeonghan chuckles at that.

“It’ll be fine,” Seokmin says, rolling his eyes at the both of them. “You two worry too much.”

Jeonghan sighs as well like it’s an answer that he’s heard too many times before when it comes to Seungkwan and Seokmin, though he leans over to bump his shoulder into Seokmin’s, his voice low and affectionate. “Just be careful.”

**{* * *}**

“Do you ever think about, like,” Wonwoo frowns at the screen of his phone, his head tilted to the side. “Doing fight scenes for movies?”

Soonyoung looks over at him, eyebrows furrowed together, laughing softly. “Why would I know how to do that?”

“It’s a choreography,” Wonwoo says, leaning back on the couch and shrugging his shoulders.

“I think Junnie helped out a musical with that once,” Soonyoung says, stretched out along the rest of the couch, his legs draped over Wonwoo’s lap. They’ve spent the better part of Soonyoung’s recently freed up Saturday binge-watching a drama that’s almost certainly going to make the both of them cry at the end.

“Yeah, he mentioned it, I think?” Wonwoo says, dropping his phone into his lap. He looks back at the screen, stretching his legs out with a little hum.

“Where is he, anyway?” Soonyoung says, sitting up halfway and looking at the closed door across the room. Wonwoo shrugs, though there’s a little frown on his face.

“He said he was going out with some friends,” Wonwoo says, waving his hand lazily. “I think it was Sicheng and Minghao.”

“I don’t think you speak enough Mandarin to keep up with them,” Soonyoung says, laughing. Wonwoo nods his head, though he doesn’t quite smile. Soonyoung tilts his head, nudging Wonwoo’s thigh with one of his legs.

“What?” He asks, leaning over to grab the remote to pause the show since he’s actually invested in it. “You two have a lover’s spat or something?”

Jun and Wonwoo have been living together since the two of them graduated from college, which means the two of them have a much nicer place than Soonyoung’s cramped studio. Wonwoo doesn’t laugh like Soonyoung expects and his face has settled into something blank and impassive for the moment.

Soonyoung huffs, kicking Wonwoo’s thigh. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” Wonwoo says, shaking his head and shoving Soonyoung’s legs away from him. “Why are you so nosy?”

“You’re being weird!” Soonyoung says, pushing himself up with his elbows. “ _Did_ you guys have a fight?”

“No!” Wonwoo says, shaking his head. “What are we gonna fight about?”

“I dunno!” Soonyoung says, pushing his fingers back through his hair. “Did he steal your toothpaste or something?”

“He didn’t do anything,” Wonwoo says, rolling his eyes. “We didn’t have a fight.”

“Then why are you being weird?” Soonyoung says, curling his legs against his chest and draping his arms over them, facing Wonwoo. Wonwoo scowls, shaking his head.

“I don’t know,” he says, huffing an annoyed sigh out. “It’s weird lately.”

“What’s weird?” Soonyoung asks, prodding at Wonwoo’s side. “Talk to me, c’mon.”

“Alright, so a few weeks ago Junnie and I went out to a bar,” Wonwoo says, leaning his head back against the couch with a long sigh. “And there was this guy who wouldn’t leave him alone so we thought it would be a good idea if we just acted like we were together.”

Soonyoung has to swallow down the urge to laugh because at least he wasn’t the only one who thought that was a good idea. “Did it not work?”

“It worked fine,” Wonwoo says, shaking his head. “But it just… I dunno I felt weird about it after.”

That makes Soonyoung cock his head to the side a little, leaning his chin on his knee. “Weird how?”

Wonwoo shrugs his shoulders, frowning a little more. “I never thought about stuff like that with Junnie before.”

“Did you make out with him or something?” Soonyoung asks, laughing. 

“No,” Wonwoo says, though Soonyoung finally gets a laugh out of him. “I didn’t make out with Jun.”

The phrase comes out a little strange, with a little bit of wistfulness attached to it. Soonyoung blinks, leaning forward with a grin stretching over his face. “Do you _want_ to make out with him?”

“No!” Wonwoo says, but it’s too loud and too quick. Soonyoung grins, raising both of his eyebrows. Wonwoo’s face slowly flushes and he turns back to the screen, probably just so he doesn’t have to look at Soonyoung’s smug smile. “I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?” Soonyoung asks, laughing.

“I’m not sure,” Wonwoo says, shaking his head. “I’ve been thinking about it, I guess.”

“So you’re being weird cuz you wanna make out with him.”

“I’m never talking to you again,” Wonwoo says, shaking his head with a long sigh. “You’re no help at all.”

“What’d you want me to say?” Soonyoung says, rolling his eyes. “Either kiss him or don’t.”

“It’s not that simple, idiot,” Wonwoo says, shaking his head. “We live together.”

“So you know where he is all the time,” Soonyoung says, leaning back on the couch again. “What makes it so hard?”

“You can’t just start kissing people you live with! Or people you’re best friends with,” Wonwoo says, leaning over and shoving Soonyoung. “It messes things up, idiot.”

“I’m not saying you have to kiss him!” Soonyoung says, shaking his head and shoving Wonwoo back. “But if you just sit around and think about how you wanna it’s just gonna stay weird.”

Wonwoo shrugs his shoulders, sinking down in his seat and looking back at the television. “Put the drama back on.”

Soonyoung rolls his eyes, leaning over and tossing the remote at Wonwoo. “I’m just saying, do it or don’t are pretty much your only two options.”

“Quit talking while the show is on,” Wonwoo says, a hint of a grin on his face once again as he hits play.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic is actually totally pre-written, and I'll be here to update it every Tuesday! If you wanna yell at me for being mean to Seokmin every week you can do so on twitter @ravidogs
> 
> Thanks to Hoshi for her work in beta-ing, Shaye for helping me come up with the idea, and the people on twitter who came to cheer me on


	2. razzle dazzle 'em

“Minnie,” Soonyoung whines as soon as Seokmin picks up his phone, and not for the first time, he laments having made such good friends with a morning person. “I called to tell my mom I started seeing someone.”

“You called her this early?” Seokmin asks, rolling over on his back. “I was still asleep.”

“Lazy,” Soonyoung says, chiding. It’s far too early for a call like this. He can hear the smile in Soonyoung’s voice, and he’s slightly out of breath like he was running or working out before he called. Seokmin throws an arm over his face and spends a moment trying to think about anything else. “She sounded really happy.”

“That’s good,” Seokmin says, once he has his own mind back on safer ground. “So, no more blind dates?”

“Nope!” Soonyoung chirps and Seokmin pulls his arm away from his face, smiling. “But, ah, I told her we’ve been um, dating for awhile before getting serious.”

“Oh,” Seokmin says softly, blinking at his ceiling. “Okay.”

“I thought it sounded a little easier to believe,” he says, and through the phone, Seokmin can hear Soonyoung rustling through something soft.

“What are you doing?” He asks, laughing to himself.

“Getting dressed— I just finished my run,” Soonyoung says, and Seokmin’s laughter dies in his throat.

“Are you running around nude now?” He says, glad he just sounds sleepy and not strangled. Soonyoung laughs brightly in return.

“No, stupid. I took a shower,” he says, and now Seokmin truly regrets having asked. He does his best not to think about these things when it comes to Soonyoung— about how he looks flushed and panting after a run. Or about him damp and fresh from the shower, hair dripping and a towel wrapped lazily around his waist. It only ends up making him feel gross and guilty in the end.

“Did you fall asleep again?” Soonyoung asks, laughing and Seokmin has to clear his throat hard before he can answer.

“No,” he says, sitting up now. “Still here.”

“Good,” Soonyoung says. “They wanna meet you next weekend if you’ve got time.”

“They do?” Seokmin asks, his voice squeaking out of his throat. This idea was far easier when it was all in the abstract. Now that there’s a date set, he feels far less certain about things. He licks his lips, rubbing the back of his neck. “I don’t have any plans, I don’t think? Um, except hanging out with Seungkwan, but that’s more of a standing thing I guess, and I can always see him later…”

“Minnie,” Soonyoung breaks in, his voice gentle. “You’re freaking out.”

“Just a little,” Seokmin says, forcing himself to breathe. Soonyoung clicks his tongue.

“You don’t have to do this for me,” he says, and Seokmin shakes his head even though Soonyoung can’t see him.

“It’s okay!” He says, squeezing his phone tighter. He doesn’t want to admit to himself why he’s so reluctant to give up on this idea. He’s holding onto the thread-thin hope that by pretending like this, just having a taste of what he wishes he could have with Soonyoung, he can put these feelings behind him for good. It’s far past time for him to be getting over it— and this is the last chance he’ll get.

“I wanna help. I can be your boyfriend for the night,” Seokmin says, smiling softly now. “It’ll be fun.”

“Well, about that,” Soonyoung says, hesitating. “Do you think it could be two nights?”

“Two nights?”

“I thought it would be a good idea if you and I went out first so we can practice all this couple stuff,” he says, and in spite of the nerves twisting in Seokmin’s stomach like serpents, he smiles. It’s exactly like him to think they should practice pretending to be together.

“Makes sense,” he says, chuckling to himself. “I think I can put up with you that long.”

“Yeah?” Soonyoung says, laughing. “Sometime this week, then?”

“Sure, but you gotta take me someplace really nice,” he says, biting the inside of his cheek gently. “No cheap chicken places.”

“Ah— so high maintenance,” Soonyoung says, and Seokmin laughs, something warm and content curling in the pit of his stomach. “I didn’t realize I’d have to wine and dine you too.”

“You don’t think I’m worth it?” Seokmin says, teasing. Soonyoung laughs again, and this is one of those mornings where Seokmin thinks he could die happy hearing the sound of his voice. “That’s not nice, hyung.”

“I suppose you’re alright,” Soonyoung says, sighing. “Alright, I need to get to work— don’t fall back asleep, okay?”

“Mmm, fine,” Seokmin says, humming as he stretches one of his arms over his head, groaning. “Text me about dinner.”

“Later,” Soonyoung says, hanging the phone up. Seokmin drops his phone with a sigh, pushing his fingers back through his hair. He frowns at the wall, then looks down at the bump of his half-hard cock under the sheets with a sigh.

“Cold shower it is, then.”

**{* * *}**

The place that Soonyoung picks for dinner is actually nice— nicer than Seokmin expected for a fake dinner. It’s the kind of place that requires Seokmin to wear a nice button-down shirt, black because he worries too much about ruining any other color and making a fool out of himself— especially in front of Soonyoung.

It’s a ridiculous thought since he’s been making a fool out of himself in front of, and with, Soonyoung for a decade. Soonyoung is dressed nicely as well, and even though he’s seated across the table, Seokmin catches a quick whiff of the cologne he’s wearing, the kind he saves for dates.

Seokmin swallows hard, looking down at the table. He’s suddenly far more nervous about this whole idea.

“Okay,” Soonyoung says, his eyes crinkling as he smiles. “So now you’re my boyfriend.”

Seokmin’s stomach does a dozen somersaults at those words, and there’s no way to stop his cheeks from flushing. “Right. Do we need to um, get our story straight?”

“I guess so,” Soonyoung says, leaning his cheek on the palm of his hand. “It’s easier if we stick close to the truth, right?”

“Yeah, Seokmin says, still doing his best to shake off his nerves. “So we’ve known each other a long time and then started dating?”

“That sounds right,” Soonyoung says, tilting his head a little. “Can I see your hand?”

Seokmin holds it out without thinking to ask why. Soonyoung takes it, lacing their fingers together. Seokmin immediately prays that his hands aren’t sweaty. Soonyoung lays their joined hands on the table, a smile on his face, his shoulders relaxed.

“We gotta get used to this stuff, right?” Soonyoung says, giving Seokmin’s hand a little squeeze. Seokmin nods his head, like his heart isn’t currently lodged in his throat.

Maybe this won’t help him get over Soonyoung as much as he hoped. He flips the menu open with his free hand, looking down at it with a small smile on his face.

“Are we gonna have to practice kissing too?” He asks, voice light enough to be nothing more than a tease. Soonyoung looks up at him with a laugh, his eyes curving upward with his smile.

“I don’t think my parents need to see us make out,” he says, still laughing. Seokmin grins back at him.

“If you’re sure,” he says, glancing at their entwined fingers. “So what do you talk to your blind dates about?”

“Oh don’t start,” Soonyoung says, groaning. “I’m trying to escape, not relive them.”

“C’mon,” Seokmin says, grinning. “I’ve never been set up on a date, how’s it work?”

Soonyoung groans, leaning his other arm on the table. “Well, first you gotta introduce yourself— since I have cards I usually bring those too.”

Seokmin nods his head, his thumb stroking over Soonyoung’s knuckles without a thought. “Okay, so give me the intro, then.”

“You’re so mean,” Soonyoung says, laughing even as he complains. “Fine. I’m Kwon Soonyoung and I work at a dance studio and my best is an asshole.”

Seokmin’s grin only gets wider. “So you tell your dates about me?”

“Every time. I say that I’ve had the same best friend since high school and no matter what I do, I can’t get rid of him,” he says, gently releasing Seokmin’s hand when the waiter comes over.

The two of them order, and once the waiter leaves Seokmin turns back to Soonyoung.

“Okay, so what next. You’ve been introduced,” he says. “And you told me about your fantastic best friend.”

“”Then I’d tell you about where I went to school and how I mostly teach dance and do choreography,” he says, rolling his eyes. “But you already know all that stuff.”

“Have you ever given them a demonstration?” Seokmin asks, wiggling his eyebrows. “Or a private lesson?”

“No,” Soonyoung says, shaking his head. “Usually it’s just coffee— I’ve never seen any of them a second time.”

“Not your ideal type?” Seokmin asks, leaning in closer as he talks. Soonyoung laughs.

“Not anywhere close,” Soonyoung says, heaving out a heavy sigh. “I’m happy to be done with all of it.”

“Okay, now do I ask about your feet?” Seokmin asks after their food arrives. Soonyoung groans at that, shaking his head.

“Please spare me,” he says. “It was mortifying enough the first time.”

“Just this once,” Seokmin says. “So what are your parents gonna, um, expect?”

“I didn’t really say much,” Soonyoung says, in between bites. “They’ll love you— just be yourself.”

“You’re sure I shouldn’t wear a skirt?” Seokmin asks, his face serious. “Jun said I have the legs for it.”

“He probably just meant your ass,” Soonyoung says, smirking. Seokmin gasps in mock offense.

“You mean he wasn’t just talking about my fantastic calves?” He asks, pouting in Soonyoung’s direction. Soonyoung laughs.

”Save that for another date,” he says, and Seokmin nods. Soonyoung’s smile goes soft. “Thank you for doing this for me— I know it’s a weird thing to ask you for.”

“You know I’m always here,” Seokmin says, shrugging like his heart isn’t beating rabbit-quick in his chest. He smiles, giving Soonyoung a cheeky wink. “Besides, no one’s taken me on a date for awhile.”

“I’ll call one of the girls who didn’t like me,” he says, though there’s still a lingering softness to his expression. It’s a wonder that Seokmin’s heart hasn’t shattered its way free of his ribs before now, with how often he has to see Soonyoung look like this. But like he always does, Seokmin takes a breath to get himself to relax— to keep himself from blurting out something that would unravel his whole life.

They finish eating, and in spite of Seokmin’s protests, Soonyoung pays for both of them. He drapes an arm loosely over Seokmin’s shoulders as they step out into the light spring drizzle, and Seokmin doesn’t have it in him to ask if that’s part of the date or not.

“Are you gonna be able to buy groceries after that?” He asks, laughing when Soonyoung groans.

“I eat less than you do, at least. I’ll get by,” he says, sighing. “You have the stomach of like, five normal people.”

“Jihoon eats just as much as I do,” Seokmin says, leaning his head on Soonyoung’s shoulder.

“I said normal people,” Soonyoung says, shaking his head. “Neither of you count as normal.”

“Well, maybe you just need to keep up,” Seokmin says. He really should step out of Soonyoung’s hold— standing so close and breathing in the warm, clean smell of his cologne isn’t doing him any favors. As hard as it is already, dealing with how he feels about Soonyoung, he doesn’t try to make it worse on himself.

Usually, it doesn’t matter anyway. He spent plenty of nights in college laying on the floor of Seungkwan’s dorm, bemoaning all the ways Soonyoung makes his life difficult. It hasn’t changed that much since they graduated. He hates the strange, razor thin like he has to walk between being Soonyoung’s best friend and being pathetically in love with him. And Lee Seokmin isn’t a man who hates much of anything.

He leans away from Soonyoung, shrugging his arm off under the guise of checking his phone.

“Should we get coffee?” Soonyoung asks, pointing at a small cafe across the street. “Chan said they have great bread there.”

The assumption that he’s still hungry makes Seokmin laugh— mostly because it’s true. He nods his head, following Soonyoung through the glass doors. Inside, the cafe is warm and dry, and that alone is enough to make Seokmin smile.

He insists on paying for coffee and treats for the both of them. 

“Since you got me dinner,” he says, winking as he hands the coffee to Soonyoung.

“You know I don’t put out on the first date, right?” Soonyoung says, laughing. Seokmin chuckles along with him, though it sticks a little in his throat.

“Good to know,” he says, because it’s beyond him to think of a better answer. He takes a big bite out of the chocolate bread he bought for himself, some of it sticking to the corner of his mouth. Soonyoung rolls his eyes, still smiling, leaning in to swipe at the corner of Seokmin’s lips with his thumb. Seokmin’s entire mind goes blank— loud static crackling between his ears. He can see Soonyoung’s mouth moving as he talks, but the words won’t process. All Seokmin knows is that their faces are too close together, and Soonyoung has his thumb millimeters away from his lips, the pad of it warm on Seokmin’s cheek.

Soonyoung leans back, and something falls in Seokmin’s chest like he was really expecting Soonyoung to kiss him.

“Sorry,” Seokmin manages after a moment, shaking his head before wiping his mouth on his sleeve— ignoring the fact he’s wearing a nice shirt. Soonyoung tilts his head, looking confused by the apology. Seokmin hopes his face isn’t as red as it feels, clearing his throat. “I should get home.”

He doesn’t really have a good reason why he can’t spend the whole night with Soonyoung, except the risk that his heart might burst out of his chest. But Soonyoung doesn’t question him on it, nodding. “Do you wanna split a cab?”

Seokmin hesitates, licking his lips before nodding. “Yeah. Better than walking through the rain.”

**{* * *}**

If he was smart, Soonyoung would have realized twenty years ago that trying to keep something secret from Lee Jihoon only ends in pain.

Specifically, it ends with _him_ in pain and Jihoon laughing, usually. They aren’t to that stage yet, only because Soonyoung has managed not to spill his secret so far. That’s about to come crashing to an abrupt end because Jihoon definitely doesn’t believe the story he’s trying to spin.

“So you don’t have a date this weekend because your parents ran out of options?” He asks, leaning his chin on one hand. He has the long sleeve of his sweater gathered around his hand, hiding his fingers from the chilly spring weather.

“Yeah,” Soonyoung says, rubbing the back of his neck. He can already tell Jihoon doesn’t believe him, and the nervous gesture makes him smirk a little, lifting one eyebrow.

“They can’t find a single girl who’s willing to go on a date with you?” Jihoon asks, and Soonyoung hesitates, licking his lips.

“Not for this weekend.”

“But you’re going to dinner to your parents,” Jihoon says, and Soonyoung nods once again.

“Yep,” he says, cringing when Jihoon looks up at him, his tongue pressing the corner of his mouth.

“Who’d you get to be your patsy?” He asks, and Soonyoung wilts, sinking down in his seat.

“Don’t make me answer that,” he says, whining. His legs stretch out under the table and he barely resists the urge to flip up the hood of his sweater and hide from Jihoon’s eyes.

“At least tell me it isn’t one of your co-workers,” Jihoon says, kicking Soonyoung in the shin. “I’m already worried about you and that kid Ten.”

“No, I wouldn’t have asked Ten,” Soonyoung says, laughing nervously. “I asked Seokmin.”

“You asked Seokmin?” Jihoon says, blinking. “Lee Seokmin?”

“Being that he’s the only one I know, yes,” Soonyoung says, smiling. Jihoon doesn’t return the smile and Soonyoung should be smart enough to move his legs before he gets kicked again.

He isn’t, unfortunately, and he doesn’t sit up until both of his shins are bruised. He whines, leaning over to rub at his leg. “Why are you kicking me?”

“Because you’re incredibly stupid,” Jihoon says, shaking his head. “Why would you ask Seokmin something like that?”

“Unlike you, he’s a friend who actually likes me,” he says, still rubbing his leg. “And he said he wanted to help.”

“You two are amazing,” Jihoon says, pulling his coffee closer and shaking his head. “I swear no one else would try something like this.”

“I don’t think so,” Soonyoung says, scratching the back of his leg. “Besides, we did a practice and I think it was good!”

“Practice?” Jihoon asks, leaning his head to the side.

“Yeah, so we knew how to act like we were dating and stuff,” Soonyoung says, nodding his head. “It went really well.”

“So you went on a date with Seokmin?”

“What? No! It wasn’t a date,” Soonyoung says, though strictly speaking it’s not wrong. Soonyoung would prefer to think of it as something in between; after all, it wasn’t like there was anything romantic going on. Jihoon stares at him, like the answer he’s giving makes no sense. “We went out to dinner but it was like… just to get the hang of it.”

“Do you ever listen to yourself speak?” Jihoon asks, shaking his head.

“As much as anyone does,” Soonyoung says, shrugging his shoulders. “You think it’s that bad an idea?”

“Pretty much the dumbest one you’ve had in years,” Jihoon says, shaking his head and standing as he finishes his coffee. “And that’s saying a lot since I’ve known you your whole life.”

“Well, what would you have done?” Soonyoung grumbles, standing as well and stretching his arms over his head. 

“Told my parents I didn’t wanna get married,” Jihoon says, his mouth a flat line. “Which is what I said you should do.”

“Yeah, but I have to see my parents and yours live all the way in Busan,” Soonyoung says, shaking his head. “It’s different.”

“It’s not that different,” Jihoon says, rolling his eyes.

“I think it’ll be okay,” Soonyoung says, still desperate to defend what he was so sure was a great idea. He should have known better; none of his plans survive the first contact with Lee Jihoon. “This way they’ll be happy and they’ll stop bugging me.”

“Do you plan to keep it up until you actually marry Seokmin?” Jihoon says, one eyebrow lifted. “Or are you two gonna stage a fantastic break up so they don’t ask.”

“I’m not gonna marry Seokminnie,” Soonyoung says, trying to avoid the fact that he hasn’t thought that far ahead. Jihoon must realize it because he just shakes his head once more.

“When you fuck this up I don’t wanna be the one you complain to about it.”

**{* * *}**

Pounding on Mingyu’s door is like playing Russian roulette, as far as Seokmin is concerned. The last four times he’s dropped by, someone has opened the door without some vital piece of clothing.

‘Someone’ usually being Mingyu, or Minghao, depending on how unlucky Seokmin is that day. After his last run-in with a very underdressed Mingyu, Seokmin had sworn off ever going to visit him again.

But, this is an emergency— there’s no way he’s going to meet Soonyoung’s parents without getting Minghao to pick him out a decent outfit. His luck seems to have turned, at least for the moment; Mingyu answers the door with all his clothes on. Even his tie is still neatly in place. Seokmin grins, greeting him with an impressed whistle. “It’s CEO Kim.”

Mingyu rolls his eyes, waving Seokmin through the door. “I had a meeting at work.”

“With the real CEO Kim?” Seokmin asks, kicking his shoes off in the entry. Mingyu sighs, nodding his head.

“He wanted to make sure my new team project was on track,” he says, a weary smile on his face. Seokmin has been jealous more than once of Mingyu for being the son of an advertising executive. In part, because his rent is probably six months of Seokmin’s salary, but mostly because it means Mingyu has always had a sure path through life.

Seokmin has never been like that, and he’s never been like Jihoon and Soonyoung— working tirelessly toward a single dream. Since he graduated, Seokmin has felt adrift.

“I thought you weren’t visiting me anymore,” Mingyu says, a grin on his face. Seokmin rolls his eyes, then realizes he can’t explain why he’s here— at least not the truth.

“I have a date,” he says, his stomach already a little queasy with the lie. “I need Minghao to dress me.”

“Why does everyone come to my place to see him?” Mingyu asks, crossing his arms with a pout. Seokmin laughs, smacking him hard on the shoulder.

“We all like him better,” he says seriously, dropping to sit on Mingyu’s couch. “Besides, he’s here like 80% of the time.”

Mingyu sighs, but doesn’t seem willing to debate the point further. “You beat him here. Are you staying for dinner?”

“Are you cooking?” Seokmin asks, grinning brightly when Mingyu nods. “Yes, please!”

“So who is this date with?” Mingyu asks, loosening the knot of his tie and raising an eyebrow at Seokmin.

“Um, just a friend of mine,” Seokmin says, fiddling with his phone. “I just wanna look nice.”

“I didn’t think you were seeing anyone,” Mingyu says, his voice muffled as he hunts through the fridge. Seokmin pulls himself off the couch, hopping up to sit on the counter instead.

“I’m not,” he says, kicking his feet and ignoring the glare Mingyu shoots at him. “This is only the second one.”

“And you’re getting dressed up?” Mingyu asks, gathering ingredients together. “Unheard of. You must like him.”

“I guess,” Seokmin says, rubbing the warm back of his neck. It isn’t much longer before Minghao shows up as well, letting himself in without bothering to knock and shaking drops of rain out of his hair. Mingyu looks up from chopping vegetables with a smile on his face. Minghao gives Seokmin a curious look, grinning slightly.

“I thought you weren’t coming over anymore,” he says, pausing to take his shoes off. Seokmin rolls his eyes, reminding himself not to make any more declarations around the two of them.

“Emergency visit,” he says, smiling as Minghao joins him on the counter. “I need a date outfit and Mingyu is cooking dinner.”

Minghao grins at that, leaning forward when Mingyu sets the large knife down and turns to kiss him. Seokmin makes a show of covering his eyes to hide from the sight, laughing when Minghao elbows him.

“Not all of my stuff is here,” he says once Mingyu has his attention back on cooking. “I think Mingyu’s shirts should fit you, though.”

“If I went to your place I’d never find you,” Seokmin says, laughing. Minghao grins as well, bumping his shoulder into Seokmin’s.

“His closet is more fun to raid anyway,” Minghao says, hopping off the counter. Seokmin follows after him, laughing when Mingyu sighs at them.

“Don’t make a mess,” he says, pleading ignored as the two of them charge into the bedroom like teenagers.

“Where is this date at?” Minghao asks, opening a closet that’s the size of Seokmin’s bathroom. He takes a seat on the neatly made bed, watching Minghao dig through his and Mingyu’s things.

“I dunno,” Seokmin says, laughing awkwardly. Minghao is much tougher to lie to than Mingyu and he has a much lower tolerance for it as well. “But I wanna look good.”

Minghao glances back at Seokmin, one eyebrow arched. He doesn’t push further though, probably assuming that Seokmin is just infatuated like Mingyu.

“Are you trying to get laid?” He asks, and the question makes Seokmin cough in surprise.

“No!” He says, holding both his hands up in protest. “I’m, uh, meeting his parents?”

At that, Minghao turns around. “You don’t have a boyfriend.”

“I don’t,” Seokmin says, cursing his stupid mouth for blurting out the truth.

“Why are you dressing up and meeting someone’s parents?”

“It’s a secret,” Seokmin says, looking down at the blanket.

“Since when are you keeping secrets?” Minghao says, tossing a shirt on the bed next to Seokmin.

“It’s just this!” Seokmin says, shaking his head. “And it isn’t what you think.”

“You don’t have a secret boyfriend you’re hiding from us?” He says, his arms crossed over his chest. “And you aren’t meeting his parents?”

“Neither of those things,” Seokmin says, leaning forward. “I promise I’ll tell you later?”

“I don’t like secrets,” Minghao says, his voice sharp. Seokmin nods, looking at the shirt Minghao dropped next to him.

“I know. Is this what I’m wearing?” He asks, trying to get a smile out of Minghao.

“No,” Minghao says, rolling his eyes. He turns back to the closet, digging for a moment before pulling out a soft sweater and a blazer, tossing them both at Seokmin. “Wear that and the really tight black pants you have. You’ll look sensible and you’ll have a nice ass.”

“Should my ass look nice in front of his parents?” He asks, plucking at the sleeve of the sweater. Minghao laughs at that, shrugging.

“They won’t notice but the mystery guy will,” Minghao says, rolling his eyes. To himself, Seokmin doubts that; Soonyoung isn’t likely to be taking notice of his ass anytime soon.

“Is this yours or Mingyu’s?” Seokmin asks, holding up the ashy gray turtleneck.

“Mingyu’s, I think,” Minghao says, flopping on the bed next to him. “You nervous? About meeting the parents?”

“Oh my god, I feel like I’m dying,” Seokmin says, groaning. “I haven’t been able to breathe all week.”

“I bet,” Minghao says, laughing. He’s still smiling, though there’s something distant to his expression. 

It’s not that hard for Seokmin to figure out why. “Still nothing on your end?”

“You know how it is,” Minghao says, rolling on his back. Seokmin nods, flopping over next to him. “His family pretends I don’t exist. They don’t wanna meet me.”

Seokmin nods his head, nuzzling his cheek against Minghao’s shoulder. “Do you think they’ll change their minds?”

“I dunno,” Minghao says, sighing hard. “I dunno if I even want them to anymore.”

“I don’t know what I’m even supposed to talk to them about,” Seokmin says, his forehead pressed to Minghao’s shoulder. Minghao looks down at him, his lips pressed into a tight line, though he doesn’t try to get away from Seokmin’s cuddling. “It’s not like I’m very exciting?”

“Are you gonna tell them about all your books?” Minghao says, chuckling. Seokmin shrugs, laughing as well.

“I get books from work and I want Hansol’s dog,” he says, stretching his arms over his head. “Sometimes Seungkwan and I go to karaoke.”

“That’s what everyone wants for their kid,” Minghao says, sitting up on one elbow with a grin. “A nerdy dog-napper who sings on the weekends.”

“They’re gonna hate me,” Seokmin says, covering his face with both hands. Minghao laughs, rolling his eyes.

“There’s nothing about you to hate. If anything they’ll be bored by you,” Minghao says, poking at Seokmin’s ribs. “Unless their kid is equally as boring.”

Seokmin sighs, but Mingyu opens the door before he says anything else, rolling his eyes at both of them. “Quit making a mess in my room.”

“I’ll make it worse,” Minghao snaps, sitting up quickly. Seokmin laughs, shaking his head.

“I won’t if there’s food,” he says, smiling brightly. 

Mingyu nods, pulling Minghao off the bed by the arm. “There’s food.”

“You stay here and make out then,” Seokmin says, pushing himself up and gathering the clothing carefully in his arms. “I’ll just eat all the food and go.”

Mingyu sighs, dropping Minghao’s hand with a shake of his head. “The worst part is I believe he will eat it all.”

Seokmin laughs, walking out to the kitchen ahead of both of them.

**{* * *}**

“I think I’m having a heart attack,” Seokmin says, pressing a hand to his chest. He can feel his heart beating frantically and he turns to Soonyoung, shaking his head. “How do you know if you’re having a heart attack?”

“You’re not having a heart attack,” Soonyoung says, putting both of his hands on Seokmin’s shoulders, trying to steady him. “Just, breathe, okay?”

The two of them are standing on the sidewalk outside of the restaurant where they’re supposed to meet Soonyoung’s parents. Short of having a heart attack, Seokmin might wind up throwing up into the bushes. Soonyoung leans in closer, squeezing his shoulders. “Seokmin-ah, look at me.”

Seokmin blinks his eyes rapidly, looking at Soonyoung with a weak smile. “Yeah?”

“It’s gonna be fine,” Soonyoung says, a smile on his face. “I promise. They’re gonna love you, you don’t have to be so worried.”

Seokmin swallows hard, nodding his head slowly. “You’re sure? If they hate me it’ll probably make everything worse.”

“They won’t hate you,” Soonyoung says, shaking his head. “Even if you weren’t pretending to date me, I’m pretty sure they’d love you.”

“Okay,” Seokmin says, taking a shaky breath. “Okay. We should go inside before we’re late.”

“Thank you,” Soonyoung says, for at least the dozenth time. It still makes Seokmin smile, even as Soonyoung’s hands drop off his shoulders. “You look nice, by the way.”

“Thanks,” Seokmin says, his smile a little stronger. “Minghao dressed me.”

“That explains a lot,” Soonyoung says, laughing. He hesitates for a beat before lacing his fingers through Seokmin’s, giving his hand a squeeze. “Ready?”

“Yeah,” Seokmin says, squeezing Soonyoung’s hand in return. The two of them walk inside and Seokmin focuses on remembering how to breathe, letting Soonyoung lead him along. It’s not so hard to pick Soonyoung’s parents, even before the two of them make it to the table. 

It’s only Soonyoung’s firm grip on his hand that keeps Seokmin from bolting in the other direction. Soonyoung glances back at him that only serves to melt Seokmin’s insides into a useless puddle. “Deep breath.”

Seokmin obeys, pulling a sharp breath into his lungs. He uses the moment to remind himself that this is the only chance he has to act like this with Soonyoung. When they stop at the table, the woman, obviously Soonyoung’s mother stands, pulling Soonyoung into a tight hug. His hand untangles from Seokmin’s as he hugs her back, leaving Seokmin to meet the intimidating stare of his father on his own.

“Um, I’m ah, Lee Seokmin,” Seokmin says, his words stumbling over one another. He licks his lips, bowing at the waist, chewing on his lower lip and staring at the floor. After a moment, he can feel Soonyoung’s warm hand on his shoulder and he stands, the back of his neck burning.

“So polite,” his mom coos, releasing Soonyoung and stepping closer. “Let’s take a look at you, then.”

“Mom,” Soonyoung says, taking Seokmin’s hand again. “Don’t embarrass him.”

“He’s so handsome,” she says, and Seokmin can feel his face starting to turn red, even as he smiles. “I didn’t know you had such good looking friends.”

“Minhee,” his father days, still sitting at the table. “At least let them sit down.”

His voice is more kind than Seokmin expected, and Minhee winks at Seokmin before taking her seat once again. Seokmin hesitates before pulling out one of the empty seats for Soonyoung. It makes him laugh, easy and amused, and Seokmin sits with his chest feeling warm.

“I’m Sookyung,” the man says, his gaze still evaluating Seokmin. “It’s nice to meet who my son has been spending his time with.”

Seokmin’s heart freezes in his chest, but he nods slowly anyway. “I- it’s nice to meet you too, sir.”

After a moment, he smiles at Seokmin; the same smile he always sees on Soonyoung’s face when he’s being teased. It’s the thing that helps Seokmin finally relax in his seat.

“You two went to school together?” Minhee asks, smiling as Seokmin nods his head.

“I studied literature,” he says, swallowing hard as he answers. “I haven’t really decided what to do with it— I’m just working in a publishing office for now.”

“It’s a good job,” Soonyoung says, his thumb tracing over Seokmin’s knuckles.

“It can be fun,” Seokmin says, nodding again. “I get to read a lot of books before they come out.”

“That does sound nice,” Minhee says. Soonyoung beams, leaning his shoulder into Seokmin’s.

“He’s a great singer too,” he says, and Seokmin looks away with a flush.

“I’m not really that great,” Seokmin says, ducking his head a little. “Seungkwan is better than I am.”

“You two are the same,” Soonyoung says, rolling his eyes. He looks back at his parents, still smiling brightly. “He could be a singer if he wanted.”

“So, you aren’t looking for a career in publishing?” Sookyung asks, his head leaning slightly to the side in a way that’s incredibly familiar to Seokmin. “It’s good work.”

“It’s good! And I like my job a lot,” he says, shaking his head. “I just don’t know if it’s what I want to do, um, forever.”

“You’re too young to have everything figured out,” he says, nodding. “It’s good you have a place to start.”

“I think my parents are just glad I’ve got a steady job at all,” Seokmin says, smiling. “I haven’t had to ask for an allowance since I graduated.”

“That’s good. You’re living by yourself?” Minhee asks, and Seokmin shifts slightly in his seat, feeling a little bit like he’s showed up for a job interview without warning.

“Yeah. Soonyoung-hyung and I live pretty close, actually,” Seokmin says, his leg bouncing nervously under the table. Soonyoung notices, sliding their hands off the table to rest on Seokmin’s knee. “It’s not fancy but nothing leaks.”

Sookyung laughs at that, nodding. “That’s all you can hope for, I suppose.”

“I’d be happier if they’d let me have a pet,” he says, letting one shoulder rise and fall in a small shrug. “I have a friend who lets me walk his dog sometimes, though.”

After they order their food, Seokmin is able to relax a little more once the conversation feels less like a personal interview. He isn’t quite sure how to tell if Soonyoung’s parents like him or not, but there’s a smile on Soonyoung’s face that makes Seokmin feel like his heart is lodged in the back of his throat. He should be used to it by now— Soonyoung smiles easy, and Seokmin is an expert in sparking one from him. But, even after so many years, seeing Soonyoung look so happy still makes his stomach flip.

“So long have you been seeing each other?” Minhee asks, and Seokmin’s brain grinds to a sudden halt. He does his best not to stare at Soonyoung and give away that they forgot to come up with an answer to that before.

Soonyoung licks his lips, thinking on his feet faster than Seokmin. “About three weeks? But we went on a few dates before that.”

“It’s good you finally decided to get serious about someone— you’ll end up the last one in the family to get married,” Sookyung says, his face more serious. Soonyoung laughs, though it’s a little forced.

“I guess all the dates helped me realize what I was looking for,” he says, glancing at Seokmin with a tender smile. Under the table, Seokmin pinches himself hard, struggling to remember that none of this is real.

He’s definitely going to be crying on Seungkwan’s floor about this tomorrow, reliving every stupid detail of how perfect Soonyoung is. If he thought that this would help him get over Soonyoung, he’s been entirely let down.

“Minnie, do you want dessert?” Soonyoung asks, his voice soft. Rather than being part of the act, this is just for Seokmin. He nods slowly, a small smile on his face.

“We should go for ice cream,” he says, low but not quite a whisper.

Soonyoung laughs, nodding. “Okay. My treat.”

They finish the last of their meal, and Seokmin makes a fool of himself grabbing for a check he knows he couldn’t really afford to pay. Sookyung laughs as he pays, warm and good-natured. 

Soonyoung stands to hug both of his parents, and to Seokmin’s surprise, Minhee pulls him into one as well, pressing a small kiss to his cheek. “It was lovely to meet you, Seokmin-ah.”

“It was nice to meet you too,” Seokmin says as he’s released, feeling oddly shy. He shakes Sookyung’s hand as well.

Soonyoung waits until they’re outside and around the corner to let out of a whoop of pure joy, yanking Seokmin into a tight embrace. “That was incredible! They loved you!”

Seokmin laughs, his face pressed into Soonyoung’s shoulder. “You think so?”

“I knew they would,” Soonyoung says, finally releasing Seokmin, hands on his shoulders. “I could seriously kiss you right now.”

Seokmin is glad it’s dark enough to hide the burning of his cheeks. “It was kinda fun. They were nice.”

“I owe you like a million favors— seriously,” Soonyoung says, and Seokmin shakes his head.

“I’m happy to help,” he says, backing a half step away from Soonyoung. “But you can buy me some ice cream.”

“I think I can manage that,” Soonyoung says, tossing an arm over Seokmin’s shoulders, dashing any hopes Seokmin had of getting out of contact with him.

It’s not, of course, that he doesn’t _want_ Soonyoung’s arm around him. It’s the opposite that’s the problem. He wants to have Soonyoung so close to him all the time. He wants more than he should when it comes to Soonyoung, a fact that’s been dogging at his heels since high school.

It took much longer than that for Seokmin to realize it. It wasn’t until the two of them wound up sleeping together in Soonyoung’s bed, tired and half-drunk, cuddled up in the too small space of his dorm and laughing. There was no kissing, no missing clothes. But Seokmin had woken up in the morning to find his whole world had somehow shifted on its axis. His feelings weren’t different, not really, but they suddenly refused to be ignored any longer.

The two of them walk into a convenience store not far from the subway station, and Soonyoung only removes his arm from Seokmin’s shoulders to lean on one of the freezers, looking at the various treats inside.

“What’re you in the mood for?” Soonyoung asks and Seokmin forces himself to stop thinking about how Soonyoung could kiss him.

“Something strawberry,” he says after a quick shake of his head, leaning over Soonyoung’s back. “Are you still hungry?”

“No, but I’m normal,” Soonyoung says, grinning. “Are you?”

“Kinda,” Seokmin says, laughing as he grabs the ice cream out of the freezer. 

“Freak,” Soonyoung says, shaking his head and elbowing Seokmin gently. “Grab something else too.”

“I’ll make it,” Seokmin says, chuckling and patting his stomach with a grin. “If I keep it up I’ll lose my perfect figure anyway.”

Soonyoung rolls his eyes, brushing Seokmin’s hand away to give his stomach an affectionate pinch. “Don’t you start skipping meals.”

“I’m not!” Seokmin says, rolling his eyes. “I just had a meal, remember?”

“But you’re still hungry,” Soonyoung says, shaking his head. “And if you lose weight your ass won’t look so great in those pants.

Seokmin turns to a display of sunglasses to hide his burning face. “I think I’ll be fine.”

“A man’s booty is important,” Soonyoung says, his voice solemn. Seokmin grabs a pair of large, pink sunglasses off of the rack, turning to smile at Soonyoung with them on and hopefully keep him from saying anything more about Seokmin’s ass. Soonyoung takes in the sight with a smile that makes his eyes curve into crescents, wrinkles at the corners. “You look good like that.”

“Yeah?” Seokmin says, grinning at the small mirror attached to the display. “I like the sparkles.”

“Very charming,” he says, reaching out to pluck them off Seokmin’s face. “You sure you don’t want anything else?”

“I’m sure,” Seokmin says, handing the ice cream over to Soonyoung. “Promise I won’t starve.”

“If you promise,” Soonyoung says, setting the sunglasses aside.

He hands the treat back to Seokmin once they leave the shop, unwrapping his own eagerly.

“Think you’ll miss the dates?” Seokmin asks, looking over as the two of them walk toward the subway. Soonyoung laughs, shaking his head hard.

“Are you kidding? I finally have my weekends back,” he says, licking his knuckles as ice cream starts to melt over them. “I can actually enjoy my Saturday again.”

“Yeah but now you gotta find your own dates,” Seokmin says, laughing. “Otherwise we’ll have to pretend to get married too.”

“You know that’s not a bad idea,” Soonyoung says, a grin on his face. “Easier than going out with another two dozen girls.”

“Are you asking me to marry you?” Seokmin says, making his voice high and sweet. He grabs Soonyoung’s arm, wiggling his hips. “Oppa! I’m so excited!”

Soonyoung laughs, ignoring the strange looks that Seokmin draws. Seokmin laughs as well, releasing Soonyoung’s arm after giving it another squeeze.

“Maybe I should hold out for a better offer,” he says, finishing his ice cream. “I’m worried about your feet.”

Soonyoung almost chokes on the bite of cone in his mouth, slapping the back of Seokmin’s shoulder. Seokmin licks his lips, tossing Soonyoung a wink. “Get them checked and I’ll think about it.”

Soonyoung grins, ruffling his fingers through Seokmin’s hair, leaving it a mess. “Did I thank you yet?”

“For tonight? Or the constant gift of my friendship?” Seokmin says, doing his best to fix his hair. The two of them walk down the steps to the subway, and Soonyoung leans on one of the pillars with a smile.

“For tonight— I feel like I asked you for a lot,” Soonyoung says, shaking his head. Seokmin rolls his eyes, reaching out and flicking Soonyoung on the forehead.

“I’m happy to help, hyung,” he says, watching Soonyoung rub the red spot on his forehead. “You can stop thanking me now.”

“Ow! Fine, no more thanks!” Soonyoung says, his lip stuck out in a pout. “Jihoon taught you to be mean.”

“Someone needed to snap you out of all this sappiness,” he says, grinning. “Don’t worry so much about it.”

“Ya, alright! Aren’t you supposed to respect me?” Soonyoung says, shaking his head. Seokmin shrugs, chuckling as he steps on the train and Soonyoung takes the seat next to him.

“Who says I don’t?” He says, batting his eyelashes. “Do you want me to kiss it better?”

“I’ll live,” Soonyoung says, laying his cheek on Seokmin’s shoulder. There’s still a mischievous twinkle in his eyes, looking up at Seokmin. “Though if you think it’ll help.”

Seokmin laughs, lifting Soonyoung’s bangs out of the way, pressing a quick, soft kiss to his forehead. He leans back quickly before he has a chance to linger on how soft Soonyoung’s skin is under his lips. Soonyoung is looking up at him curiously when he leans back, a smile growing on his face.

It’s not until he’s back in his seat that it really clicks that he just _kissed_ Soonyoung, even if just on the forehead. He can feel his palms immediately start sweating, and even if all Soonyoung does is laugh, Seokmin is going to spend at least the next four hours panicking about this.

It seems like things always go like this when it comes to him and Soonyoung— Seokmin manages to keep a lid on his feelings for weeks, months at a time, but eventually, he starts to slip. Things make their way through the cracks; he laughs too long at a joke, or he does something like kiss him on the forehead. 

Even if Soonyoung hasn’t noticed yet, Seokmin always feels like he’s only one little thing away from giving himself away entirely. He’s glad that his stop comes up before Soonyoung’s, so when he stands and waves a quick good-bye he still has half a block or so to walk home by himself.

It’s still cool after the earlier rain and Seokmin is glad for it, tucking his hands into his pockets as he walks. There’s no real hope of being able to actually clear his head, not after spending his whole night pretending to be something more to Soonyoung, but it helps a little.

By the time he gets home, he at least doesn’t feel like he’s going to explode in every direction.

**{* * *}**

"I think I wanna date Jun," Wonwoo says, in response to nothing in particular. Soonyoung blinks, looking up from his phone with one eyebrow raised, a grin spreading on his face.

"Did you just make up your mind on this now?" He asks, leaning his head a little to the side. Wonwoo seems to need the moment to think about that question, something that makes Soonyoung roll his eyes. "You were talking about making out with him already. It's not exactly a shock."

"That was different," Wonwoo says, though there's a small smile on his face. "That was just hypothetical."

"You were wondering if you wanted to make out with him hypothetically?" Soonyoung asks, his grin growing when Wonwoo shakes his head.

"Kind of? I was considering the possibility," he says, sliding his arm forward on the table between them to lean his chin on his hand. "But now I think I'm sure about it."

"Okay, so tell him?" Soonyoung asks, raising both his eyebrows now. "He's gonna be here in like ten minutes."

"Are you stupid?" Wonwoo says, shaking his head and sitting up with a little huff. "You want me to just tell Jun I wanna date him out of nowhere?"

"You're telling me outta nowhere," Soonyoung says, shrugging. "It seems like it'd be more productive, at least."

"I can't just do that," Wonwoo says, kicking Soonyoung's calf under the table. "I _live_ with him."

"So you already know what annoying stuff he does," Soonyoung says, barely dodging the kick and saving his leg from getting another bruising this week. "I don't see what the big deal is."

"I don't wanna ruin my whole life," Wonwoo says, rolling his eyes. He's acting like Soonyoung is being dense, somehow, instead of suggesting the only actual solution to such a problem. "You can't just ask your roommate out and expect things not to get weird."

"Yeah but Junnie isn't just your roommate," Soonyoung says, shaking his head. "You two have been friends forever. He's not gonna be weird about it."

"It'll be awkward," Wonwoo says, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "What would you do if Seungkwannie suddenly told you he wanted to go out with you?"

"Feel very bad for Hansol," Soonyoung says, grinning at his phone. "But it wouldn't be that bad, y'know? I'd just tell him I love him as my friend and my dongsaeng."

"Well, what if it was Seokmin?" Wonwoo asks, shaking his head. "It'd make you feel weird about the relationship you have."

The idea makes something funny happen in Soonyoung's chest but he ignores it, shaking his head once again. "I don't think it's that big a deal. You should just talk to him."

"I think you might be insane," Wonwoo says, sighing. He opens his mouth to say something else, probably to complain further about Soonyoung giving him a totally reasonable solution to his problem, but he snaps it shut again without saying anything. Soonyoung blinks, looking over his shoulder when he realizes he no longer has Wonwoo's attention.

Of course, it's Jun walking over that's distracted him, and Soonyoung has to resist the urge to roll his eyes. As much as he thinks Wonwoo is being stupid, he wouldn't want to be the person who gives his secrets away, either.

Not that Soonyoung is usually much good at keeping secrets, but he can be trusted with the things that matter, at least. He waves, smiling as Jun sits at the other side of the table, sliding into the same side of the booth as Wonwoo. Skinny as they are, the two of them fit just fine, though it takes a moment for Wonwoo to stop making eyes at Jun and shift himself over.

Jun doesn't seem to notice, and Soonyoung has to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from sighing. Wonwoo's going to give himself away well before Soonyoung feels like he has to tell somebody the secret.

"I thought you were getting your hair cut," Wonwoo says, laughing as he tugs at one of the rough ends of Jun's hair. Jun laughs, leaning just a little into Wonwoo's hand and shrugging. His hair has grown longer lately, almost reaching his shoulders, and Soonyoung is more used to seeing it tied up at the back of his head rather than down like it is now.

"I didn't feel like it," he says, brushing the long ends of his fringe away from his face. "Did you two pick a movie?"

Soonyoung tosses a significant look at Wonwoo when Jun turns to look at him as well, grinning. "I told Wonwoo-ya he could pick."

Wonwoo glances over, his eyes narrowing like he's daring to Soonyoung to push his luck a little further. Soonyoung grins back at him, eyes curving upward as he does.

It’s not often that he has this much to hold over Wonwoo’s head— he’s planning on enjoying it as long as he can.


	3. when you love somebody

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “It’d be easier to help if I knew why you and Soonyoung were running off to Busan,” Minghao says, his voice sharp. “You know I have to teach all of his weekend lessons.”
> 
> Seokmin bites the inside of his cheek before turning around again. “We’re going to his cousin’s wedding.”
> 
> Minghao narrows his eyes immediately. “Together? Why?”
> 
> “Because he didn’t wanna go alone,” Seokmin says, deciding it isn’t really a lie. “So I said I’d go.”
> 
> Minghao’s lips tighten like he knows something is off with Seokmin’s story but he can’t quite figure out what.

“Please explain to me how you set your apartment on fire,” Jeonghan says, shaking his head.

“It wasn’t the whole place!” Seokmin whines, his forehead against Jeonghan’s shoulder. “It was just one of the curtains. And Seungcheol-hyung bought me that fire extinguisher when I moved in, so it was fine.”

“So— you set the curtains on fire?” Jeonghan says, leaning his elbow on the bar, shaking his head. “What were you doing?”

“Making food,” Seokmin says, shaking his head. “I got a call and I got kinda distracted—”

“Who called you?” Jeonghan asks, raising an eyebrow. Seokmin pauses at that, his eyes darting off to the side.

“Seungkwan told you, didn’t he?” Seokmin says, trying to laugh it off. It comes out awkward, and Jeonghan hums in response.

“He didn’t mention the fire,” Jeonghan says, laughing. “But he did say something about you and Soonyoung going out of town.”

“It’s not like that,” Seokmin says, trying to sound like Soonyoung’s offer hadn’t led to him setting his kitchen on fire. Jeonghan gives him an expectant look over the rim of his glass and Seokmin sighs. “One of his cousins is getting married, um, in Busan.”

“And you’re going?” Jeonghan asks, his brow furrowed for a moment. “Ah— they still think you’re his boyfriend.”

“Since he told them we’re still dating, yeah,” Seokmin says, laughing. It’s been a few weeks since Seokmin had dinner with Soonyoung and his parents and short of all the twisting in Seokmin’s chest when he thinks about holding Soonyoung’s hand, things have been normal. “I didn’t really have an excuse ready.”

“You weren’t gonna tell him no,” Jeonghan says, shaking his head with a grin. “You’ve never been good at that.”

“It could be fun!” Seokmin says because Jeonghan has him there. “I like weddings.”

“And long, romantic trips with Soonyoung,” Jeonghan says. Seokmin shrugs, because it’d be a lie to say otherwise. Though he’s a little nervous about having to play the role of Soonyoung’s boyfriend in front of his whole family. Jeonghan’s razor-sharp smile softens a little, patting Seokmin’s shoulder. “I can’t say I’m surprised.”

“I didn’t think I’d get invited to family stuff,” Seokmin says, chuckling. “I’m glad his parents liked me, I guess.”

He pauses, the smile on his face shrinking a little. “You’re gonna say I should tell him.”

As much as Seokmin didn’t want anyone else to know about his feelings, Jeonghan is the elder that Seokmin trusts the most. Despite all of his tricks and teasing, he’s always been there to watch over Seokmin. Jeonghan takes a long sip of his drink, thinking it over.

“Probably,” he says, shrugging one of his slender shoulders. “Or at least stop pretending if you won’t.”

“I almost did once,” Seokmin says, laughing a little awkwardly. Jeonghan shoots him a curious look, but Seokmin looks down at the glass in front of him instead, his eyes focused on the dark amber liquid of his beer, one finger running around the rim of his glass. “It was really stupid.”

“When was that?” Jeonghan asks, sounding less amused than he did before. Seokmin glances up, shrugging one shoulder.

“Years ago— it was right after I realized,” he says. It’s a memory that presses too close in his brain, and Seokmin is foolishly unable to just let it go. He can remember what he was wearing, what Soonyoung was wearing. “We were at a party and I convinced myself that I could just tell him and it wouldn’t be weird.”

“So you were drunk,” Jeonghan adds with a laugh and Seokmin nods.

“That too,” he says, grinning even though it feels a little out of place on his face at the moment. He didn’t know the person throwing the party, but the apartment was dark and lit mostly with twinkling Christmas lights even though it was already spring and Seokmin had done way too many commiserating shots with Mingyu before ambling off to find Soonyoung. “I didn’t tell him though. That was the only time I really thought I’d try it.”

“Why didn’t you?” Jeonghan asks, leaning his chin on one hand, his fingers curled up by his neck. Seokmin laughs like he did the first time he related the story to Seungkwan like it’s funny. Like it doesn’t still sting a little.

“I went to try and talk to him and he was kissing some girl,” Seokmin says, both his arms laying on the bar, fingers tangled up together, squeezing his own hands too tightly. “It kinda made the timing seem wrong. I didn’t really wanna drag him off and tell him I was stupid in love with him and then have him go back to his hook-up.”

That’s the thing that Seokmin can remember most, of course; Soonyoung and a girl he didn’t know— never met— tucked in a corner of the dark living room, with both of Soonyoung’s hands buried in her dark hair. It wasn’t a weird thing to see, not really, and it wasn’t like Seokmin had any illusions about the fact that he and Soonyoung were just best friends.

Jeonghan is giving him a look like he’s not entirely sure what to say, so Seokmin smiles and shrugs again. “So I didn’t say anything.”

“And now you’re pretending to be his boyfriend,” Jeonghan says, shaking his head.

“I wanna be there to help,” Seokmin says, though his reasons aren’t entirely so selfless.

“You’re the one who’s gonna get hurt,” Jeonghan says, frowning. “Have you thought about that?”

“I’ll be okay,” Seokmin says, softer than before. The look on Jeonghan’s face makes it obvious he’s not really convinced. “It’s not like I think he’s gonna fall in love with me.”

Apparently, that’s not the right answer either, because the look that Jeonghan gives him is sad, pitying. Seokmin smiles even more brightly in return like he always does with Seungkwan. It seems to work a little, getting Jeonghan to smile back at him, so Seokmin keeps it up.

“Besides, just pretending to date him will probably make me sick of him,” Seokmin says, nodding. At that, he manages to get Jeonghan to laugh, quick and surprised.

“Sick of him, huh?” He asks, shaking his head. “I’ll believe that when I see it.”

“Keep your eyes peeled them,” Seokmin says, grinning. It’s not like he doesn’t know already that he’s the one getting hurt, no matter how things turn out with Soonyoung. But, as naive as it may seem, Seokmin thinks it’s worth it in the end.

He doesn’t share that with Jeonghan, of course, because he knows it won’t go over well. He looks over again, his nose wrinkling as he smiles. “Besides, I get a free trip to Busan.”

“I’m glad you finally learned something from me,” Jeonghan says, laughing.

**{* * *}**

This is not the first time that Seokmin has been to the studio Soonyoung works at. This is, however, the first time he’s been there to actually learn something. Namely, he’s supposed to learn how not to totally embarrass Soonyoung when it’s time for them to dance in front of his family.

It’s entirely likely he’ll do that anyway because he isn’t picking up on what Soonyoung is trying to teach him at all.

“You’re leading again,” Soonyoung says his voice sharp and Seokmin wonders if his patience for this lesson is starting to grow thin. “Follow my steps and stop pulling.”

“Okay,” Seokmin says, looking down at his feet in an effort to forget how close they’re standing. It doesn’t help— the two of them have their hands clasped tightly together and Soonyoung’s other hand is at Seokmin’s back. “But I’m taller— shouldn’t I lead?”

“I’m the one who knows how to dance,” Soonyoung says, rolling his eyes. Seokmin has been trying every possible thing to keep from staring into Soonyoung’s eyes like their proximity demands. He’s settled for watching the bridge of his nose, even if it makes him seem a little cross-eyed.

“Alright, again. You step forward first,” Soonyoung says, and Seokmin resists the urge to stare at his feet. He’s Soonyoung’s last lesson of the day, and though he doesn’t smell like anything but citrus, deodorant, and clean laundry, Seokmin can see the bits of his hair standing up from sweating earlier. They must look silly; the two of them each still dressed for work. Seokmin in a button down with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows and slacks; Soonyoung in a shirt with cut-off sleeves and training pants that Seokmin has noticed too many times hug closely around his thighs.

Seokmin manages not to mess up the first few steps, focusing on Soonyoung’s quiet counting and not the tiny freckle on the top of his nose.

His chances of surviving this trip are starting to seem very slim. The idea of spending a fun few days with Soonyoung is a dream going up in smoke. It’s going to take everything Seokmin has to make it back home in one piece.

“That’s better,” Soonyoung says, a smile starting on his face. Seokmin beams and nearly trips on Soonyoung’s foot, then laughs softly.

“Still better?” He asks, trying to count the steps to himself. Soonyoung nods, fingers still tight at Seokmin’s back. “Am I good enough for some music?”

“I guess,” Soonyoung says, laughing. He releases Seokmin, who tries to contain his sigh of relief, turning to grab the small remote that connects to the studio’s sound system. He presses a button to play music, filling the room with a slow ballad that Seokmin can’t quite place the name of. He sets the remote down, turning back to Seokmin with a smile. “Ready?”

“Yup,” Seokmin says, with more certainty than he really feels. Soonyoung reaches out, taking Seokmin’s hand and pulling him close again. Seokmin’s mouth goes dry, putting his hand on Soonyoung’s shoulder like he’s supposed to. He straightens his back, trying to stand like Soonyoung showed him. Soonyoung’s fingers tighten at his back and he laughs softly.

“You’re pulling away,” he says and Seokmin lets Soonyoung pull him a step closer. “You gotta pretend you like me, remember?”

“Right,” Seokmin says, and he deserves an award for keeping his voice so even. He steps forward carefully, trying to keep in time with the music, not step on Soonyoung’s feet, and keep from staring at Soonyoung and risk fainting. He does an okay job from the start until Soonyoung has the audacity to smile at him.

“Want me to spin you?” He asks, and Seokmin laughs in return, shaking his head.

“I barely have the hang of this,” Seokmin says, though he makes the mistake of looking at Soonyoung. His heart seizes, realizing he’s close enough to lean in and kiss Soonyoung if he was brave enough— if Soonyoung wanted him to. He thought drives everything productive out of his head and he loses track of the dance, stumbling into Soonyoung and almost knocking them both to the ground. Soonyoung makes a surprised sound, stumbling against Seokmin’s sudden weight.

“Ya! Are you falling asleep?” Soonyoung barks, smacking Seokmin’s side. “Pay attention.”

“Sorry,” Seokmin says, letting go of Soonyoung’s hand. Soonyoung sighs at him, shaking his head.

“We should take a break,” Soonyoung says, stepping back and grabbing one of the water bottles set next to the mirrored wall. “You’ve almost got it.”

“I’ll only almost mess up the wedding then,” Seokmin says, laughing. Soonyoung shakes his head, handing the water over.

“I’m glad you’re coming with me,” he says, glancing over and rolling his eyes. “The only people worse than my parents is the rest of my family.”

“At this rate, I’m gonna end up saving you from people who really wanna date you,” Seokmin says, handing the water back after taking a drink himself. Soonyoung laughs, nodding.

“You are a much better way to get rid of my suitors,” Soonyoung says, pinching Seokmin’s arm. “I’ll show them how big and tough my boyfriend is.”

“I’m very intimidating to the untrained eye,” Seokmin says, his face serious. He puffs out his chest, holding his breath to try and maintain the illusion. Soonyoung prods at his stomach and Seokmin lets out the breath in a gasp, laughing. “I’m like the reverse of Minghao.”

Soonyoung’s grin gets wider, giving Seokmin’s arm another squeeze. “I think I’ll stick to using you on my family.”

“Suit yourself,” Seokmin says, shaking his head. “You’ll have to face all these people by yourself.”

Soonyoung laughs, bright and loud, lacing his fingers together behind his head. “As soon as I find one I’ll let you know.”

There’s a twist in Seokmin’s stomach, but he does his best to ignore it. “Well, I’ll keep the spot warm until then.”

It isn’t like Seokmin really needs the reminder that his place in Soonyoung’s life is far from permanent— he’s only going to need a pretend relationship until he decides he wants a real one. He knows he’s not the only one who would jump at the chance. But he’s hardly in a position to cheer Soonyoung into the arms of someone else.

“Okay, break over!” Soonyoung says, setting the water down and clapping his hands twice. Seokmin groans, though not for the reasons Soonyoung must think, reaching out to take his hand once more.

**{* * *}**

The empty suitcase lying in the middle of Seokmin’s floor is mocking him. It’s hardly alone— the singed curtain in the kitchen has been doing the same thing all week.

However, the silent mocking of the suitcase is joined by the very vocal mocking of Minghao stretched out on Seokmin’s bed like a lazy cat.

“How many of the same shirt do you have?” He asks, watching Seokmin pick through his closet. It makes Seokmin pause, scowling at his clothes.

“They aren’t the same,” he says after a too long moment spent thinking about it. He’s not entirely certain that none of his clothes are the same, but that’s hardly strange. The larger problem is the bad mood Minghao is in. Seokmin is curious about why but he’s reluctant to ask. He’d still like Minghao’s help packing, rather than spending the evening getting his head bitten off.

“It’d be easier to help if I knew why you and Soonyoung were running off to Busan,” Minghao says, his voice sharp. “You know I have to teach all of his weekend lessons.”

Seokmin bites the inside of his cheek before turning around again. “We’re going to his cousin’s wedding.”

Minghao narrows his eyes immediately. “Together? Why?”

“Because he didn’t wanna go alone,” Seokmin says, deciding it isn’t really a lie. “So I said I’d go.”

Minghao’s lips tighten like he knows something is off with Seokmin’s story but he can’t quite figure out what. Before he asks anything more, his phone rings loudly from his pocket. He pulls it out, frowns, then drops it on Seokmin’s bed.

“Are you ignoring Mingyu?” Seokmin asks, walking over and picking up Minghao’s phone. It’s Mingyu’s name that shows up, and Seokmin hovers his thumb over the ‘accept call’ button. The look Minghao shoots him is positively withering.

“Don’t,” he snaps, grabbing his phone and setting it down out of reach. Seokmin raises a curious eyebrow at that— it isn’t strange to see the two of them fighting; Seokmin is pretty sure they do that in place of foreplay. But ignoring one another is entirely different. Seokmin flops on the bed next to Minghao, tugging on his arm.

“Okay, what’s going on?” He asks, tilting his head and making a surprised sound when Minghao flops over on top of him. He shakes his head, face pressed against Seokmin’s shoulder.

“I’m mad at him,” Minghao says, grumbling. He lifts his head after a moment, sighing.

“That’s not new,” Seokmin says, poking at Minghao’s sides with a grin. “Why aren’t you yelling at him?”

“I can’t,” Minghao says, rolling onto his back, laying next to Seokmin rather than on him. “He skipped out on our plans because he had a work thing.”

“And you can’t yell at him for that?” Seokmin asks, playing with a strand of Minghao’s silver-bleached hair.

“No,” he grumbles, stretching his arms overhead. “His dad sprung it on him, and that man doesn’t really consider a date with me to be a real excuse.”

“Not really his fault, huh?” Seokmin says, chuckling softly. “Don’t punish him too much.”

“I won’t,” Minghao says, a smile on his face again. “I’ll find something else to yell at him for.”

“Good,” Seokmin says, sitting up all the way. “Cuz you can’t stay in my bed all weekend.”

“Do you even have clothes nice enough for a wedding?” Minghao asks, sitting up as well. Seokmin frowns at that, hopping off the bed and going back to the closet.

“Probably,” he says, scratching the back of his head. “I think I have a blazer somewhere?”

Minghao sighs, climbing off the bed as well, shaking his head. “Your wardrobe really is pathetic.”

“It’s fine! I don’t exactly have a lot of big events to go to,” he says, sighing. “This is why I need your help.”

“It’s three days?” Minghao asks, one hand on his hip. Seokmin nods, nudging the empty suitcase with his toe.

“We’re leaving grossly early,” he says, sulking just a little. Minghao hums quietly, pawing through the things hanging in Seokmin’s closet. After a moment, he starts pulling things out, tossing them onto the bed, leaving Seokmin trying to duck out of the way before a pair of pants knocks him out cold.

“Isn’t this like a week's worth of clothes?” Seokmin asks, looking at the pile of clothes now taking over his bed. Minghao looks at him with a long-suffering sigh.

“You’re gonna need options,” he says, arms crossed. “You don’t know all of what you’re gonna do, right?”

“Right,” Seokmin says, shaking his head as he nudges the pile of clothes. “But I don’t think I’ll be doing this much stuff.”

“You’re hopeless,” Minghao says, pulling a worn pair of jeans and a soft hoodie out of the pile. “Wear this on the train.”

“And pack all the rest?” He asks, scratching the back of his head. 

“Yes,” Minghao says, laughing. “And don’t pack my phone.”

Seokmin makes a dismayed sound but obeys anyway. By the time he’s finished, he has to have Minghao sit on top of the case so he can zip it properly closed. Minghao stares down at him, laughing as he knocks one of his heels against the side of the suitcase. “Isn’t this a little small?”

“I wasn’t really planning on packing so much,” Seokmin says, shaking his head. He shoves Minghao’s shoulder with his own, rolling his eyes. “Now get off.”

Minghao stands up with a laugh, shaking his head. “Fine. You’re gonna be able to get up, right?”

“Soonyoung-hyung is gonna come get me,” he says, grinning. He picks the suitcase up, standing it near the bedroom door with a shake of his head. “Are you gonna call Mingyu?”

“Probably,” Minghao says, picking his phone up with a little frown. “Or I’ll just go over there.”

“Gross,” Seokmin says, rolling his eyes. “Please don’t have too much fun.”

“No promises,” Minghao says, laughing as Seokmin walks to the door with him. He pauses in the middle of putting his shoes on, narrowing his eyes at Seokmin. “Whatever happened to that secret boyfriend of yours?”

“I don’t have a secret boyfriend,” Seokmin says, shaking his head with a little whine attached to his tone. “I told you that wasn’t what it was about.”

“Okay, so you didn’t go on a date with some guy to meet his parents that you won’t tell me about?” Minghao says, frowning as he slides his other shoe on.

Seokmin sighs, pressing both hands together in front of him, giving Minghao his best pleading pout. “I’m not seeing anyone— please believe me.”

“You’re doing something,” Minghao says, his eyes still suspicious as he looks at Seokmin. “And you know Seungkwan and Soonyoung suck at keeping secrets, so one of them is gonna let it slip.”

He’s going to have to beg Soonyoung to keep his mouth shut as well. “There’s no big secret.”

That’s a lie, and Seokmin feels bad for telling it. He feels worse because Minghao believes him— or at least he lets the subject drop, punching Seokmin once in the shoulder before opening the door. “Whatever. Enjoy your trip.”

**{* * *}**

Seokmin doesn’t really enjoy the trip itself; mostly because it means Soonyoung showing up twenty minutes earlier than he’s supposed to and letting himself into Seokmin’s apartment with his spare key and jumping into bed with a still-sleeping Seokmin.

As far as morning calls go, this is not Seokmin’s favorite. Even though he knows it’s Soonyoung in bed with him (really, who else could it be?), Seokmin rolls over to face him, struggling to pull the blankets over his head to hide.

“Please burgle me at a more reasonable hour,” he grumbles, eyes still closed. Soonyoung must be closer than he thought because when he laughs Seokmin can feel his toothpaste fresh breath blowing against his cheek.

“Minnie,” he coos, shaking Seokmin’s shoulder. “Get up! We gotta get going.”

“It’s so early,” Seokmin says, refusing to open his eyes. In part, he’s still kind of hoping that Soonyoung will let him sleep until his alarm goes off, but mostly he’s not prepared to see Soonyoung’s face so up close and personal this early in the morning when his defenses are at their lowest. “Train doesn’t leave for like an hour.”

Soonyoung laughs again, and he must have woken up not that long ago himself because there’s still a little bit of sleepy huskiness in his voice. “If you get up then we have time to get breakfast.”

That’s a tempting offer for Seokmin, and Soonyoung knows it. Still, he turns his head to hide his face in the pillow, grumbling into it. “I’ll eat at the train station.”

He peeks one eye open, looking over at Soonyoung, curling his arm under his pillow. “You’re not gonna let me sleep, are you?”

“Nah,” Soonyoung says, the arm he was using to shake Seokmin now draped over him. More than he wants food, Seokmin wants to curl himself up in Soonyoung’s loose embrace and sleep for another ten hours. Soonyoung has a little grin on his face and when Seokmin still refuses to move he scratches Seokmin’s back a little. “C’mon now. Get up.”

Seokmin groans and gives into the desire to curl himself closer to Soonyoung, shaking his head again. “Sleep is better.”

“Yeah yeah,” Soonyoung says, rolling his eyes and giving Seokmin a little shove before sitting up. “You packed up?”

“Yeah,” Seokmin says, rolling on his back now that the chance of cuddling with Soonyoung isn’t an option anymore. He groans, rubbing at his eyes, turning his head to look at Soonyoung again. “Are you gonna be my alarm from now on?”

“I’ll think about it,” Soonyoung says, hopping off the bed, holding his hands out to pull Seokmin out of bed. Seokmin grabs his hands, eyes still hanging half open, letting Soonyoung pull him up. He squeezes Soonyoung’s hands before letting them go, the warmth of Soonyoung’s fingers lingering. Soonyoung turns, grabbing Seokmin’s suitcase and grinning at him. “Hurry up and get dressed!”

“Okay,” Seokmin says, dragging himself into the clothes Minghao grabbed out of his closet the night before, tugging a beanie over his head as well before shuffling off to brush his teeth.

Once Seokmin has himself ready, Soonyoung is bouncing on the balls of his feet, raring to get going. He grins as Seokmin, flipping his hood up with a laugh. “Cute.”

“Go away,” Seokmin says, laughing as he tries to fix his hood. “My alarm hasn’t even gone off yet.”

Soonyoung shrugs, linking their arms together and looping his bag over his shoulder. “You can sleep on the train.”

“Fine,” Seokmin says with a little huff, leaning his head against Soonyoung’s shoulder. 

Soonyoung makes good on his promise of getting Seokmin breakfast and coffee before they get on the train, watching him settle into the seat with a little grin on his face. “Happy now?”

“Happier,” Seokmin says, leaning into Soonyoung’s side a little when he sits. Soonyoung doesn’t seem to notice, supporting Seokmin’s weight comfortably. Seokmin lets him steal a few bites of the pastry he bought for breakfast.

He eventually does drift off to sleep, his head against the window. Soonyoung is apparently unhappy with Seokmin risking a concussion with the rattling of the train bumping his temple over and over against the window. He’s woken from his half-dozing state by Soonyoung’s hand coming to stop his head from banging against the window once again.

Seokmin turns half toward him, blinking his eyes, confused. Soonyoung chuckles, tugging Seokmin’s head to rest on his shoulder as well. “You’re gonna knock yourself out.”

“That was the plan,” Seokmin says, though he lays on Soonyoung without complaint. Soonyoung nods, and even with the hat still on, Seokmin can feel the brush of his cheek through it. 

“Well I can’t show up with a brain-dead boyfriend,” Soonyoung says, returning his attention to whatever he’s doing on his phone. Seokmin hums softly in response, nuzzling his cheek into Soonyoung’s shoulder. Whatever reason he had for _not_ sleeping on Soonyoung from the start is already gone from his head— he’s far more comfortable than the cold, hard surface of the window.

**{* * *}**

It isn’t until after they get to the hotel and Seokmin has taken an overly long shower to get rid of the feeling of canned air on his skin that Soonyoung springs another surprise on him.

“My sister wants to get dinner with us,” he says, leaning back on the bed and watching Seokmin towel off his hair. There’re nerves clinging to the edge of his smile and Seokmin looks down at his clothes with a laugh.

“Should I wear something nicer?” He asks, adjusting his glasses. After falling asleep on the train his contacts were too dry to keep in— even if Soonyoung teases him for looking nerdy without them. But Soonyoung shakes his head, laughing a little awkwardly.

“No— you look fine. I’m just worried,” Soonyoung say, scratching the back of his head. “I’ve never been able to keep anything secret from Yoobin.”

“So you think she’s gonna be able to tell?” Seokmin asks, dropping to sit on the bed next to Soonyoung. He frowns, falling to the side, his head pillowed on Soonyoung’s thighs.

“Something like that,” he says, looking up at Seokmin with a grin. “Any chance you suddenly feel sick?”

“I don’t think so,” Seokmin says, toying with Soonyoung’s bangs. “Did you try telling her no?”

“She said to cancel whatever romantic plan I had for you,” he says, his lower lip stuck out in a pout. It’s very cute— Seokmin has to resist the urge to coo over it and prod at Soonyoung’s cheeks. “So I guess that’s a no on room service and making eyes at each other.”

“That’s a loss,” Soonyoung says, dropping Soonyoung’s bangs into his eyes with a laugh. “I’ll just have to make eyes at you over dinner.”

He grins when he says it; there’s part of him that’s sure he could convince anyone of just how much he really likes Soonyoung— if he had to. Soonyoung smiles up at him, spreading his arms out with a laugh.

“I’m lucky I have a nice boyfriend, I guess,” he says, and somehow no matter how many times he hears Soonyoung say it, the words always make Seokmin’s heart stop beating for a moment. “She told me we could just meet her at the restaurant.”

“She’s not staying here?” Seokmin asks, leaning back when Soonyoung sits up.

“I think she is— she was out already,” Soonyoung say. He still looks unsettled and it’s making Seokmin feel more nervous too. He licks his lips, plucking at the threads of the comforter.

“If you think this is a bad idea,” he says, glancing up when Soonyoung looks at him again. “I mean— you can tell her I’m sick I guess?”

“I didn’t drag you out here to make you hide in the hotel,” he says, shaking his head. “It’s just a little more playing it up right? I’m alright with it if you are.”

“Yeah,” Seokmin says, smiling back at Soonyoung. “I think I can manage.”

There’s still a lingering warmth from Soonyoung laying in his lap and Seokmin isn’t sure if he wants to hold onto that feeling or to forget it. He stands, bumping his shoulder against Soonyoung’s, doing his best to be reassuring.

“We shouldn’t be late then,” he says, puffing out a small sigh. “Just don’t let me faint.”

“You got it, babe,” Seokmin says, giving Soonyoung a little wink. It makes Soonyoung laugh, slapping him on the shoulder as they leave.

The place Soonyoung’s sister has picked is surprisingly relaxed, and it helps put Seokmin a little more at ease. The same doesn’t seem to be true for Soonyoung, who clings to Seokmin’s hand like he’ll collapse without the support. Seokmin holds onto him gladly, giving Soonyoung’s hand an extra squeeze when he waves to a pretty girl who must be his sister.

“Yoobin-noona!” Soonyoung says, letting go of Seokmin’s hand to pull her into a tight hug in greeting. Seokmin tucks his hands into his pockets, smiling at the two of them. When they separate, Yoobin turns to survey Seokmin instead. 

She’s a full head shorter than he is, but Seokmin still feels intimidated when he meets her sharp gaze. “So you’re Seokmin-ah?”

“Yes,” Seokmin says, his voice too quick, ducking forward in a polite bow.

“My brother hasn’t told me anything about you,” she says as they sit, glancing over to raise her eyebrows at Soonyoung. “But it sounds like my parents liked you so much that I thought I had to meet you too.”

“I’m glad,” Seokmin says, clearing his throat after a beat. “Um, that they like me, I mean.”

Soonyoung bites his lip, giving Seokmin a strange glance before looking down at his menu. After a nervous moment, Seokmin puts his arm over Soonyoung’s shoulders, leaning in to look at the menu with him, hoping he doesn’t look as horribly awkward as he feels. He can feel Soonyoung jump a little like it was more contact than he was expecting, and Seokmin does his best to cover it with a laugh.

“Have you been here before?” He asks, his voice low. Soonyoung muffles a laugh, shaking his head and turning to smile at him. It’s then that Seokmin realizes what a bad idea this move was— his face is much closer to Soonyoung’s than he expected and when Soonyoung bites down on his lower lip, Seokmin can see the little white indents that his teeth leave in his skin. He’s aware, of course, that Soonyoung’s sister is still sitting there in front of the two of them, but his brain has turned suddenly useless on him.

Soonyoung, at least, isn’t nearly as affected by Seokmin. After a moment, he points to something on the menu, forcing Seokmin to look at that rather than at him. “You like short ribs, you should get those.”

Now that he’s used to it, Soonyoung is leaning into Seokmin’s side, allowing himself to be tucked nicely under Seokmin’s arm. As nice as it is, Seokmin finds himself hoping that Soonyoung can’t feel the rapid-fire pace of his heart. He’s glad he showered before they left because at least he doesn’t have to worry that he smells weird with Soonyoung sitting so close to him.

Unless the hotel soap smells weird. Seokmin swallows, realizing he still hasn’t actually answered Soonyoung, nodding his head slowly. “Yeah. That sounds good.”

Yoobin gives the two of them a long, thoughtful look. “How long have you been dating for?”

“Three months,” Soonyoung says, scrunching up his nose like he has to think about it. “But I’ve been friends with Minnie since high school.”

She blinks like it wasn’t the answer she was expecting. Seokmin licks his lips, trying to seem like he doesn’t feel awkward holding Soonyoung like this. He didn’t think it wanted to be possible to be more nervous around someone than Soonyoung’s parents, but apparently he was wrong about that. Yoobin asks fewer questions, at least, but they seem more pointed— like she can already sense that there’s something Soonyoung doesn’t want her to know.

“You went to college together, too?” She asks, arching one eyebrow neatly. Seokmin nods, his arm dropping from Soonyoung’s shoulders.

“I studied literature,” Seokmin says, doing his best to smile. It hasn’t really been that long since he last went on a date, but for the life of him, Seokmin can’t remember how it’s supposed to go.

Since the only couple he spends time with is Minghao and Mingyu, Seokmin doesn’t exactly have that to go by, either. He’s lucky that Soonyoung finds all of this easier than Seokmin does. He snatches Seokmin’s glasses with a playful smile, laughing when Seokmin reaches for them. “You can tell he’s a nerd.”

“My eyes were dry,” Seokmin complains, squinting at the blur of Soonyoung sitting next to him. Soonyoung chuckles, and when he leans in to put them back in place, he also presses a quick kiss to Seokmin’s cheek. Unprepared and caught off guard, Seokmin can’t help the way his whole face flames red. He ducks his head to adjust his glasses, aware his neck is just as bad.

“I think your nerd glasses are cute,” Soonyoung says, and managing to look just slightly more composed, Seokmin rolls his eyes.

Yoobin seems amused by the two of them, but Seokmin can’t be exactly sure as to why. He’s hoping, of course, that she believes them and just thinks they’re entertaining. But something makes Seokmin worry still.

“Do you have any siblings, Seokmin-ah?” Yoobin asks after they place their orders and Seokmin shakes his head.

“It’s just me,” he says, shrugging a little. “I don’t mind it much though. I have a lot of hyungs who take care of me.”

“Too much care, sometimes. That’s why Jeonghan-hyung sent me that weird message,” Soonyoung says, grumbling just a little. Seokmin tilts his head to the side, looking at him curiously.

“What message?” He asks, blinking as Soonyoung pulls out his phone.

“He sent me this a few weeks ago,” Soonyoung says, scrolling through his messages with his brow furrowed. “I thought it was just a joke.”

Soonyoung makes a pleased sound when he finds what he’s looking for, tilting his screen toward Seokmin.

**(Hannie 1004):** _I don’t care if it’s pretend— if you hurt Minnie you and I are enemies :)_

Seokmin laughs at that, patting Soonyoung on the shoulder. “Sorry, you know how he is.”

“He’s not kidding, is he?” Soonyoung says, shaking his head. “At least Minghao doesn’t think I’m a dog.”

“Only because I didn’t tell him,” Seokmin says. He’s glad the food comes before Soonyoung gets the chance to ask him why.

“Have you told mom and dad you’re done with that lawyer?” Soonyoung asks, and his sister groans.

“And risk them bringing me a date? No thank you,” she says, sighing. “I tried to get Sanghyuk to come but he was already busy.”

“They know you won’t date him,” Soonyoung says, laughing. “Shouldn’t you at least pick someone they’ll believe?”

Yoobin raises both of her eyebrows at that, and for a moment, Seokmin’s stomach sinks.

“Is that why you brought Jihoonie to dad’s birthday?” She asks, leaning her chin on one hand with a smirk. “He was very believable.”

Even Seokmin grins at that, leaning his cheek on Soonyoung’s shoulder as he laughs. Soonyoung rolls his eyes, nudging Seokmin with his elbow. “It’s not that funny!”

“It kinda is,” Seokmin says, grinning when he lifts his head. “You dating Jihoon-hyung is funny.”

“I never said I was dating him,” Soonyoung says, pinching Seokmin’s side. “He owed me the favor.”

“Was Wonwoo-hyung busy?” Seokmin asks, chuckling when Soonyoung huffs.

“Aren’t you supposed to get jealous?” He asks, sighing when Seokmin shakes his head. “It was worth asking.”

Seokmin laughs, reminding himself to scold Jeonghan once they leave. He feels bad about him getting involved at all, though he should’ve expected it from the start. He’s made it clear already, at least to Seokmin, that he doesn’t think any of this is a good idea.

At least the rest of the meal goes without incident, and while Yoobin decides to go back to the hotel, Soonyoung grabs Seokmin’s hand, pulling him along in the other direction. “There’s a really pretty night market this way.”

“I don’t think your sister believes us,” Seokmin says, shaking his head as they round the corner. Soonyoung sighs, though he seems he’s forgotten that he’s holding Seokmin’s hand.

“She doesn’t,” Soonyoung says, tilting his head back with a groan.

“Are you worried?” Seokmin asks, still following along after Soonyoung.

“She won’t tell my parents,” he says, shaking his head. “But if I admit to faking it I’ll owe her forever.”

“Well,” Seokmin says, looking down at their joined hands, his mouth working without his mind behind it. “We’ve still got tomorrow right?”

The night market that Soonyoung has been dragging him off to is pretty— and when Soonyoung turns to face him he’s framed by the bright neon lights and the last touch of the spring sunset. Seokmin’s lips part around a thought that doesn’t quite want to leave his head.

“With, um, the dancing,” Seokmin says, his voice stumbling. Soonyoung’s hand is warm in his own, and all Seokmin can really think about his how badly he wants to kiss Soonyoung.

Seokmin lets go of Soonyoung’s hand first, because for as long as he’s known Soonyoung, Seokmin has always been a coward where it counts.

Soonyoung smiles, tucking his hands into his pockets. “I guess since I spent all that time teaching you we might as well.”

“Do you wanna walk around?” Soonyoung asks, and Seokmin nods. At least he can avoid sharing a bed with Soonyoung a little longer.

**{* * *}**

Unfortunately, Seokmin can’t avoid it forever, and short of the night he spent taking care of a flu-ridden Mingyu in college, it’s the worst night’s sleep that Seokmin has ever had.

Despite the size of the bed, neither her or Soonyoung are exactly small, and it’s impossible to lay without touching him somehow. Not to mention the way Soonyoung seems to gravitate toward the warmth of his body.

So— Seokmin spends the night with one of Soonyoung’s arms over his waist, his best friend spooning up against his back. Which doesn’t exactly help Seokmin drift off into a peaceful sleep. So, when Soonyoung starts to stir far too early, Seokmin isn’t anywhere near ready to get up. But he can feel Soonyoung’s breathing pick up against the back of his neck and his face heats out.

“Um,” Seokmin says, his voice still a little rough with sleep, doing his best to laugh. “Are you done using me as your teddy bear?”

Soonyoung laughs and the sound of it buzzes against Seokmin’s skin. He pulls his arm back and rolls so he’s no longer pressed against Seokmin’s back.

It’s better, even if it makes Seokmin feel a dozen times worse not to have him there. He presses his face into the pillow, shutting his eyes and trying to hide his burning face. “I forgot how clingy you are.”

“I am not,” Soonyoung says, swatting at Seokmin’s arm lazily. “I wasn’t even drunk.”

“Which just makes it worse,” Seokmin says, sitting up and rubbing at his eyes. Soonyoung grins up at him, his head turned to the side. It makes his hair fan out against the pillow and Seokmin’s mouth goes dry staring at him.

Soonyoung laughs, sitting up and giving Seokmin a little shove. “Shut up. I’m gonna take a shower.”

“Good,” Seokmin says, flopping back onto the bed and closing his eyes. “Let me sleep more.”

Soonyoung rolls his eyes, but rather than trying to sleep once more, he reaches out to grab his phone instead.

**(Minnie):** _I’m ready to die now_

**(Kwannie):** _that bad?_

**(Minnie):** _there’s only one bed_

He can almost hear the sound of Seungkwan sighing at him, but apparently, that’s not good enough because Seungkwan decides to call him as well.

“One bed?” Seungkwan says, his voice too loud for the early hour. Seokmin groans, pressing his face into the pillow once again.

“Yeah— one bed,” Seokmin says, grumbling a little. “We’re dating, remember?”

“Progressive,” Seungkwan says, and Seokmin can hear him rolling his eyes. “So you’re sleeping with Soonyoung-hyung? Literally, I mean.”

“Literally, yes,” Seokmin says, flopping on his back with a sigh. “Though I didn’t really do that much sleeping.”

“That’s not what I wanna hear,” Seungkwan says. “Please tell me that doesn’t mean—”

“It means he kept me up because he was acting like a koala,” he says, stretching one arm over his head. “Who have you been spending time with?”

“You, mostly,” Seungkwan says. There’s a pause, and Seokmin can hear a low, indistinct voice in the background. 

“Oh you’re with your boyfriend aren’t you,” Seokmin says, wrinkling his nose. “You didn’t have to call me if you’re with Hansol.”

“Please don’t start,” Seungkwan says and Seokmin bites his lip to keep from laughing. “You’re the one doing something weird, not me.”

“It’s not that weird,” Seokmin says. “I’m just like… a stand-in.”

“A stand-in boyfriend is not normal, hyung,” Seungkwan says. “Especially considering… you know. Your situation.”

“Yes, I’m aware,” Seokmin says, shaking his head. “I’m fine. You and Jeonghan worry too much.”

“There’s no such thing when it comes to you,” Seungkwan says, and Seokmin can hear the rumble of Hansol’s voice again. Seungkwan laughs at whatever it is he says. “Hansol said he hopes you have fun at the wedding.”

“I worry about how much of my life he’s heard about,” Seokmin says. He can hear the shower turn off and he bites his lip. “Okay, I’m going to take my turn in the shower. Do you wanna say hi to Soonyoung-hyung?”

“Is he naked?” Seungkwan says and as if on cue, Soonyoung walks out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist. “I’m not talking to him while he’s naked.”

“You’re missing out then,” Seokmin says if only to hear the annoyed sound Seungkwan makes. “I’ll tell him for you then.”

“Okay. Try not to die. And have fun,” Seungkwan says and Seokmin hums in response, hanging up the phone and sitting up so he can retreat to the bathroom before Soonyoung actually is naked.

“Seungkwannie said hi,” Seokmin says, glancing over his shoulder. He manages not to choke on his words, or get too caught staring at the defined curve of Soonyoung’s back. He’s always complained about not having abs, but as far is Seokmin is concerned, Soonyoung looks perfect already without them. He keeps his opinion to himself, generally, and now is certainly not the time to be outing himself as a fan of Soonyoung’s thighs. Seokmin rolls himself off of the bed, hoping it doesn’t seem as desperate and graceless as he’s feeling.

Soonyoung looks over his shoulder with a curious furrow in his brow. Seokmin laughs, shaking his head before Seokmin turns around the rest of the way.

“Shower,” he says, smiling until he swings the door to the bathroom shut behind him.

Mercifully, Soonyoung is dressed by the time Seokmin is done with his quick (cold) shower.

However, he’s dressed in a suit, which is really just as bad as walking out to find him naked. Seokmin clears his throat, watching Soonyoung fiddle with the cuffs of his shirt. “You look, um, nice.”

“Yeah?” Soonyoung says, looking up with a grin. “I dunno when I last had to dress up like this.”

“It looks great,” Soonyoung says, tightening the towel around his waist and flipping open his suitcase to dig for where Minghao packed away his nice clothes. “Did you manage your tie?”

“If I say yes are you gonna tell me it’s wrong?” Soonyoung asks, and Seokmin laughs, wrestling his suit free from the rest of his clothes.

“I’ll do it for you,” Seokmin says, pulling his clothes on with his back facing Soonyoung. He leaves the jacket off, for now, his own tie loose around his neck. As expected, Soonyoung has made a hopeless tangle out of his tie. Seokmin rolls his eyes, reaching out and using the knotted fabric to pull Soonyoung close, plucking the messy knot apart with a shake of his head. “How can you still be so bad at this?”

“I don’t usually need to wear one,” Soonyoung says, laughing. “Besides, I have you to help me.”

“It’s not like I wear one all the time either,” Seokmin says. He’s glad that he has a task to focus on for the moment because he’s already standing close enough to Soonyoung to make his blood pressure skyrocket. And it’s likely that won’t change much over the rest of the day. He’s already wearing the clean smelling cologne that Seokmin recognizes from meeting up with him after his blind dates.

“You have those publishing parties,” Soonyoung says, his chin tilted down to watch Seokmin tie the knot properly.

“Not that often,” Seokmin says, stepping back to tighten the knot up to Soonyoung’s throat. “You’re the only person I know who can’t tie one.”

Soonyoung shrugs, tugging on Seokmin’s tie once playfully after he ties it for himself. Seokmin laughs, shoving at Soonyoung’s shoulder.

“This is why you asked me to come, isn’t it hyung?” Seokmin asks, turning around to pull his jacket on. Behind him, Soonyoung laughs.

“Well I couldn’t show up with it undone,” Soonyoung says, reaching to fix the back of Seokmin’s jacket. “But the company is nice too.”

Seokmin laughs, sliding his phone into his pocket. “I’m starting my boyfriend duties once I get there?”

“Unless you need to warm up,” Soonyoung says, grinning and grabbing hold of Seokmin’s hand. He holds it with both of his own, his fingers warm around Seokmin’s fist. “Do you wanna confess your love for me? Just to practice.”

Even though he can see the amused twinkle in Soonyoung’s eyes, Seokmin’s heart all but stops beating. He stares dumbly at Soonyoung, trying to make his brain and his mouth connect again.

“I’m okay,” he manages to croak out before the moment stretches too long and he looks like an idiot— or like he’s really considering it. Soonyoung laughs, letting go of his hand.

The venue for the wedding isn’t too far away, but Seokmin is glad that they take a cab rather than walking. It isn’t hot, but the idea of showing up in front of strangers already nervous and sweaty doesn’t exactly make Seokmin feel any better about his chances of making it through the day.

By the time they find their seats, Seokmin has been introduced to so many people that he feels dizzy. Apparently, Soonyoung’s cousin invited not only the whole family but every one of her friends as well— all of whom seem truly upset that the two of them are dating each other. Seokmin feels more awkward each time and as soon as the two of them are seated, Seokmin presses his head into Soonyoung’s shoulder with a groan.

“I don’t think you needed to bring a date,” he says, laughing.

“You’re saving me twice,” Soonyoung says, his fingers gently scratching the back of Seokmin’s head. “Though they might try and steal you— you make a good first impression.”

“No thank you,” Seokmin says, sitting up with a sigh. “Their chances are better with you.”

“I’m an honest man this weekend,” Soonyoung says, pressing his hand to his chest. If he took a moment to think about it, Seokmin would probably realize how pathetic an exercise this is, at least on his part. But, it’s probably a good thing that Yoobin takes her spot on the other side of Soonyoung before he gets too much time to dwell on it.

“Did you find yourself a date yet?” Soonyoung asks, and Yoobin leans back against the hard bench with a little sigh.

“I’m not hooking up with someone at the wedding. At least wait until the party,” Yoobin say, looking back at Soonyoung with a smile that’s a perfect mirror of his own. Soonyoung laughs, reaching over to take hold of Seokmin’s hand, setting both on his knee.

“Sulhee-noona’s friends have their eyes on Minnie,” Soonyoung says, giving a small squeeze to Seokmin’s hand. Seokmin laughs, shaking his head and giving Yoobin a pleading look.

“I’d be happier if they didn’t,” he says, and Yoobin chuckles.

“I’ll see what I can do about that,” she says, patting Seokmin’s hand. Seokmin nods, bumping his shoulder into Soonyoung’s.

“Yoobin-noona takes better care of me than you do,” he says, laughing when Soonyoung sulks and shakes his head.

“I didn’t let anyone take you!” He whines, looking over at Seokmin with his lower lip pushed out in a pout. Seokmin laughs, hesitating for a beat before kissing Soonyoung’s cheek with a smile.

“Thanks, babe,” he says, grinning when Soonyoung does. Music starts playing from the front and Seokmin turns to face forward. Soonyoung leans in, his voice low in Seokmin’s ear.

“You’re not gonna cry, are you?” Soonyoung asks, and Seokmin wrinkles his nose, trying not to laugh.

“I don’t know your cousin,” Seokmin says, though it isn’t exactly a no. Soonyoung seems to realize it as well because his smile only grows. The music makes the rest of the people milling around to take their seats and when Soonyoung’s parents sit down, Seokmin ducks his head in a quick greeting.

He does manage to make it through the ceremony without breaking down in tears, though it’s a close call at the end. Soonyoung gives his hand an encouraging squeeze, leaning forward to grin at him.

“Well?” He asks, laughing when Seokmin sticks his tongue out.

“Who do you think I am? Boo Seungkwan?” Seokmin asks, shaking his head. “I’m fine.”

Soonyoung smirks, grabbing Seokmin’s chin and turning his face so the two of them are nose-to-nose, staring Seokmin in the eyes. Seokmin pens his mouth to say something, but he’s once again saved by Yoobin’s voice.

“If you wanna stay here and make out you’d better find another ride,” she says, and Soonyoung makes a surprised sound, letting go of Seokmin’s jaw.

“We’re not!” He says, yelping. Yoobin shakes her head, casting a curious glance at the both of them. Seokmin can feel his face heating up, but before they can ruin their cover story any further, Soonyoung stands and makes his way out to the aisle with Seokmin following behind him.

It’s no surprise that Yoobin still doesn’t believe them, at least not totally, but it makes Seokmin worry that other people might not buy it either.

The ride to the reception is a small cab with just the three of them, and while Soonyoung and Yoobin tease each other, Seokmin sends the highlights of the day so far to Seungkwan and tries not to think about how he’s still going to dance in front of people.

When they arrive, Soonyoung’s arm slides around Seokmin’s waist, making his face flush a little. He catches the quick hint of a smile on Yoobin’s face as she walks past them.

Soonyoung sighs, leaning his chin on Seokmin’s shoulder with a frown. “Does she expect me to make out with you in the cab?”

Seokmin laughs, patting Soonyoung’s back. “Sorry, hyung. I think you’re doing a good job being my boyfriend.”

“Well, thanks for that,” Soonyoung says, shaking his head when they find their seats. “I’m sure I’ll find out what it’s gonna cost me later.”

“You don’t think we can convince her?” Seokmin asks, biting his lip and pulling Soonyoung’s hand into his lap. He traces his fingers over Soonyoung’s palm without much thought behind it. Soonyoung looks down at his hand, a thoughtful frown on his face.

“I dunno,” he says after a moment, shaking his head and gently pulling his hand back. “I think I owe you a drink.”

“Yes, please,” Seokmin says, grinning when Soonyoung stands up. “If you don’t have to pay then you owe me several.”

Soonyoung laughs and Seokmin counts himself lucky that while he’s gone, none of the very pretty young women he was introduced to earlier manage to find him when he’s left alone. It’s really only a moment before Soonyoung returns with a pair of champagne flutes and a devilish grin on his face. Seokmin takes his with a laugh, shaking his head.

“Didn’t we swear this off after your graduation?” He asks, clinking the rim of his glass delicately against Soonyoung’s anyway. Soonyoung nods, his eyes twinkling with mischief.

“That was Jeonghan-hyung’s fault, though,” he says as if he really needs to put in the effort to Seokmin over. “And Mingyu was the only one who got caught in the fountain.”

“I just remember trying to light those sparklers with Minghao,” Seokmin says, laughing as he takes a sip.

“Yeah, all 45 at once,” Soonyoung says, shaking his head. “But it’s a special occasion and I won’t let you near any fireworks.”

“You’re so thoughtful, hyung,” Seokmin says, grinning. “You’re not gonna get me drunk before the dancing, are you?”

“I’m trying to settle your nerves,” Soonyoung says, grinning when Seokmin shakes his head.

“I’m gonna end up trying to shake it,” Seokmin says, setting the glass down with a roll of his eyes. Soonyoung passes an offended hand to his chest.

“I would never encourage something like that,” he says, though there’s still trouble in his expression. “Though you do have the ass for it.”

“A man’s booty important,” Seokmin says, parroting Soonyoung’s words back to him. Soonyoung grins, his hand resting lightly on Seokmin’s knee.

By the time Soonyoung pulls Seokmin out of his seat to start the dancing, they’ve had enough champagne that Seokmin himself feels light and bubbly. At least he isn’t so nervous about dancing, though he’s also not quite as sure of his steps. But, Soonyoung’s hand is warm and steady at the small of his back and he leans in more than required, his mouth close to Seokmin’s ear. “Just follow my lead, yeah?”

“Okay,” Seokmin says, curling his fingers around Soonyoung’s shoulder, leaning into him.

He almost stumbles when Soonyoung starts moving them to the music, but he finds the rhythm of it before he knocks the two of them over. Soonyoung smiles and Seokmin can feel his face heating up and he hopes that it can be explained away by the alcohol. There’s a warm indulgence to Soonyoung’s smile, and Seokmin feels like he might float away at any moment.

“My sister is watching us,” Soonyoung says, his voice low, and Seokmin glances at her when Soonyoung turns them again. Seokmin nods his head slightly, trying to do what Soonyoung told him and watch a single spot so he doesn’t get dizzy with all the spinning.

He looks back at Soonyoung, swallowing and leaning closer to him. “You’re sure she won’t say anything to your parents?”

“Not after this,” Soonyoung says, and Seokmin catches the brief flash of a smile on Soonyoung’s face before he leans up just a little, pressing their lips together.

It’s strange, the order in which Seokmin notices things. He notices the fact that they’ve stopped spinning, though he still feels like might be moving. He notices that he forgot to close his eyes before he really feels the way Soonyoung’s mouth is soft and dry against his. Their hands are still entwined, and Soonyoung’s hand is tucked under Seokmin’s jacket, pressing the thin fabric of his shirt into his back. 

Seokmin’s body catches up before his mind does, his neck bending, head tilted to the side to make the kiss more certain. He doesn’t want his brain to break in and ruin the moment— to remind him why he shouldn’t be kissing Soonyoung, to begin with.

The kiss doesn’t last long enough for Seokmin to start thinking again, anyway. Soonyoung’s lips part and Seokmin can feel the quick, warm rush of breath against his lips before Soonyoung leans back. Their faces are still close together, and Seokmin knows his eyes must be comically round but Soonyoung laughs softly.

“Sorry, I should’ve warned you,” he says, looking up at Seokmin with a grin. The song ends, which is good because otherwise, Seokmin would still be standing in the middle of the dance floor like a marooned sailor.

“It’s fine,” he says, though his voice is shaking and unsteady. When they get back to their table, Soonyoung sits and Seokmin blinks his eyes, an awkward laugh tumbling out of his mouth. “Bathroom, I’ll be right back.”

He hopes that he doesn’t look too much like he’s fleeing. Once he’s by himself, the door of the tight stall of the bathroom locked behind him, Seokmin finds himself struggling to breathe. It doesn’t quite feel like the plastic walls of the stall are closing in on him, but Seokmin is certain that his life is going to come to an abrupt, terrible end in the next few minutes.

After what feels like several minutes of struggling to pull air into his lungs, Seokmin manages to pull his phone out of his pocket, pulling up Seungkwan’s number without really looking at the screen.

“If you’re drunk calling me already I’m going to kill your plants,” Seungkwan says, and Seokmin isn’t sure what to say, or even how to make words come out of his mouth.

He’s definitely hyperventilating though, and there’s no way Seungkwan _can’t_ hear him. It only takes a moment before he goes from annoyed to worried. “Hyung? Are you okay?”

“I can’t breathe?” Seokmin says though it comes out as a question. He cradles the phone between his jaw and his shoulder, his hand shaking as he tugs the knot on his tie away from his throat.

“What’s going on?” Seungkwan asks, more demanding this time.

“Soonyoung kissed me,” Seokmin says, pressing the tips of his fingers to his mouth like he can still feel the ghost of Soonyoung’s lips against his own.

“He what?” Seungkwan’s voice rises four octaves higher than normal, and Seokmin winces just slightly, leaning his head away from the phone.

“He didn’t mean anything by it,” he says, his voice coming out strangled. He’s still trying to manage his breathing, one hand still gripping around the fabric of his tie.

“How could he not mean anything?” Seungkwan says, his voice still reedy and high. “You said he kissed you!”

“He did,” Seokmin says, his stomach twisting. “But it wasn’t like that… it wasn’t for real.”

There’s a long, telling moment of quiet before Seungkwan sighs. “It was part of your stupid act.”

“Yeah,” Seokmin says, speaking more softly than before. At least he can breathe again, even if his life is in danger of being quickly cut short by Seungkwan. He isn’t sure, really, why he decided to call other than the fact that Seungkwan is his best friend. There’s certainly nothing he can do to fix the problem that Seokmin created for himself.

“Are you alright?” Seungkwan asks after a moment, probably taking the time to swallow down the need to gloat over being right once again.

“I don’t know. I think so?” Seokmin says, doing his best to laugh. “I should go back out, I guess.”

He waits a moment for Seungkwan to tell him once again that he should just confess to Soonyoung, but Seokmin is sure that at this point it would only serve to make things worse. Somehow.

“Good luck, hyung,” he says instead and Seokmin smiles a little. “Call me tomorrow?”

“When I get home,” Seokmin says, hanging up the phone and taking a moment to correct his tie before he unlocks the door behind him. He’s glad there was no one else in the bathroom to overhear him having a dramatic breakdown, and before he leaves he splashes water on his face, frowning just a little at how pale he looks. All he can do now is hope that Soonyoung won’t notice, or ask what exactly took him so long.

When he steps outside again, he’s surprised to find Yoobin sitting in his seat. Soonyoung, facing the other way, hasn’t spotted him, and after a beat of hesitation, Seokmin veers in a different direction, hoping getting some water to drink will help settle his nerves a little further.

**{* * *}**

Soonyoung is wondering if he should go searching for Seokmin when his sister takes the seat next to him, a smile on her dark lips. “You’re not dating that boy.”

“You’re not dating that lawyer,” Soonyoung shoots back, a small frown on his face. It wasn’t like he really expected Yoobin to fall for it all the way, but he was hoping that kissing Seokmin would help at least. It seems like all he managed to do was make Seokmin run off and hide. Soonyoung wrinkles his nose, leaning back in his seat. “You gonna sell me out?”

“No,” Yoobin says, leaning her arms on the table and laughing softly. “I’m impressed you found someone willing to go along with a plan like this, honestly.”

“Minnie is my best friend,” Soonyoung says, shrugging his shoulders. “He said he’d help out.”

“How generous,” Yoobin says, raising both of her eyebrows. “He went to dinner with mom and dad and came all the way out to this just to help you?”

Soonyoung shrugs again, nodding his head. “Yeah.”

“You two are good together, you know,” she says as Soonyoung takes a sip of the champagne in front of him, causing him to almost inhale the alcohol into his lungs. Soonyoung coughs and Yoobin laughs, giving him a surprised look. “You’ve never thought about it before?”

“About what? Dating Seokmin?” Soonyoung says, tears at the corners of his eyes. He shakes his head, wheezing out a breath. “No! I said he’s my best friend, jeez.”

“You know I would’ve believed it if it was anyone but you,” she says, shrugging in return. “I don’t think it’s such a wild idea if he was already willing to play the part.”

“That’s different,” Soonyoung says, grumbling as he sets the glass down once again. “I don’t think about Minnie like a boyfriend.”

“But he was your choice for a fake one?” Yoobin asks, laughing. Soonyoung can’t help but scowl at that, shaking his head.

“You’re making it sound like something it isn’t,” Soonyoung says, sighing. 

“You’re the one who kissed him in front of everyone.”

“That wasn’t—” Soonyoung starts, cutting himself off with a quick shake of his head. “It was just for show.”

“I forgot you’re too old to listen to me now,” Yoobin says, shaking her head as she stands. “I’m just saying you should think about it. You told mom and dad he’s what you really wanted, didn’t you? If it’s not someone like that then what is it you want?”

She seems to know that Soonyoung doesn’t have an answer to that, because she ruffles his hair gently before walking away, leaving Soonyoung alone with far more questions on his mind than he had a few minutes ago.

He didn’t think very hard about kissing Seokmin, at least not before he decided he should do it. It was simple— just part of the act they were putting on. But really, Soonyoung hasn’t thought all that hard about any of it. There didn’t seem to be any need to. Seokmin was doing a favor as his best friend, even if it was one that might seem strange from the outside.

The sudden uncertainty makes Soonyoung frown, biting the inside of his cheek and craning to look over his shoulder. He’s relieved to see Seokmin, though he’s flustered and beset by a girl that Soonyoung doesn’t recognize. He stands, putting a hand on Seokmin’s arm when he reaches the two of them, smiling brightly. “There you are!”

Seokmin turns to look at him, the surprise on his face giving away to relief immediately. Soonyoung wraps his hand around Seokmin’s arm, leaning into him a little and pecking a tiny kiss on his cheek. “I thought I lost you.”

It might just be Soonyoung’s suddenly paranoid imagination, but it feels for a second like Seokmin tenses at the touch. It vanishes as soon as he looks at Soonyoung then back to the girl, a vibrant smile on his face. “I was talking to Yuju-ya. She’s one of your cousin’s friends.”

Soonyoung wants to laugh at Seokmin’s misfortune, and once he has him alone again he will. Seokmin has never been adept at talking to girls, and he flusters himself more than Mingyu does. Soonyoung bites the inside of his lip to keep from grinning, giving Seokmin’s arm a slight tug. “Well, I don’t want to have to steal you away but Yoobin-noona wanted to see you.”

Soonyoung gives the girl a smile, tugging Seokmin along with him. Seokmin stumbles for a second like he’s struggling to keep up, laughing a little as soon as they’re away. “Does she really?”

“No, she just wanted to bug me,” Soonyoung says. He glances back at the party, then at Seokmin, shaking his head. “Do you wanna get out of here?”

“Shouldn’t we stay? There’s supposed to be cake still and stuff,” Seokmin asks, tucking one hand into his pocket and looking nervously over his shoulder. “Won’t your cousin mind?”

“Sulhee-noona won’t notice,” Soonyoung says, shrugging. “And if she does she won’t care. We should do something fun.”

“If you say so, hyung,” Seokmin says, smiling. Any other day, Soonyoung would have been sure that his chest always felt that warm over making Seokmin smile, but he’s not so sure anymore. Soonyoung releases Seokmin’s arm, though he feels strangely reluctant to do so.

There’s no reason to be so touchy, of course, if they’re not staying at the wedding any longer. Away from his family the two of them are exactly as they’ve always been; just Soonyoung and Seokmin.

It’s a much lonelier prospect than it ever was before.


	4. heart stop

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I gotta get over it sometime, right?”
> 
> “Isn’t that supposed to happen before you kiss him?” Minghao asks, shaking his head, but Mingyu throws his arm over Seokmin’s shoulders.
> 
> “No, after they kiss Soonyoung is supposed to realize that he’s been in love with Seokmin-ah the whole time,” Mingyu says, holding onto Seokmin tightly. “You’re the one who wants to watch all those romance movies, you should know this.”

Soonyoung is usually good at keeping himself from overthinking things. Not because he’s bad at thinking like Jihoon likes to claim, but because he likes to keep himself focused forward— eyes on the immediate path in front of him.

Unfortunately, there isn’t a clear path in front of him to focus on, at least not at the moment. Mostly because he’s not even sure if he really has a problem or if his life is exactly the same as it’s always been.

What he does have is one Lee Seokmin asleep on his shoulder and Soonyoung is trying to decide how exactly he’s supposed to feel about it. The movie they put on is still playing in the background, and in the dark of Soonyoung’s cramped apartment, the light from the television casts color across his face.

The two of them started out on Soonyoung’s bed laying on opposite sides with a comfortable space between them. Now, they’re curled together in the middle of the bed, Seokmin’s head tucked against his shoulder, his chest rising and falling with each slow, relaxed breath. Soonyoung feels… tense about the situation in spite of how normal it is for the two of them.

It’s been over a week since Sulhee got married, and something has felt off for Soonyoung ever since. He’s not sure how to explain it, even to himself.

He can’t stop thinking about his sister telling him that he and Seokmin look good together as a couple. He’s not sure why the thought has stuck with him so hard— though it’s likely that kissing Seokmin didn’t exactly help him focus.

A loud sound from the movie makes him jump, blinking at the sudden, bright explosion on the screen. Seokmin mumbles something like he might wake up and Soonyoung looks down at him with a little smile. He’s learned over the years that Seokmin is anything but an attractive sleeper. Even now his jaw is slightly slack and he’s dangerously close to drooling on Soonyoung’s shoulder.

But, for as silly as he looks, Soonyoung can’t help but find him cute. He grins, reaching over to close Seokmin’s mouth for him, leaning his head against the wall. The motion makes Seokmin blink his eyes open, looking around with a confused groan. “Hyung?”

“You fell asleep,” Soonyoung says, his voice low. Seokmin sits up a little, rubbing at his eyes with a little huff.

“Did he save the spy lady?” Seokmin asks, squinting at the screen. Soonyoung laughs, turning Seokmin’s chin toward him, watching him blink his eyes.

“It’s not over yet. Did you fall asleep with your contacts in?” He asks, tilting his head slightly to the side.

He doesn’t realize how close he is until the screen lights up and Seokmin blinks at the flash. He can see the quick brush of Seokmin’s eyelashes when his eyes close and when it processes in his mind that he’s holding onto Seokmin’s face and sitting with only a few inches separating them.

“Yeah,” Seokmin says, the corners of his lips tilting up in a small grin. Soonyoung rolls his eyes, but he drops his hand and leans back, moving just a little too quickly. He hopes that Seokmin doesn’t notice, but if he does he doesn’t say anything about it. Instead, he stretches his arms over his head with a groan. “Sorry.”

“You’re the one who’s gonna have itchy eyes,” Soonyoung says, shaking his head. 

“Sorry I fell asleep,” Seokmin says, laughing softly. “We signed a new author and she sent like twenty revisions this week.”

“I didn’t know you were working late,” Soonyoung says, leaning back in his spot and trying to calm the sudden spike in his heart rate. “We could’ve ignored this movie whenever.”

Seokmin laughs, shaking his head even as he struggles not to yawn. “I wanted to hang out. You have that big trip to Hong Kong next week.”

“We could’ve done that tomorrow, too,” Soonyoung says, poking at Seokmin’s side. “Unless you have your karaoke date with Seungkwannie.”

“Maybe I have a real date,” Seokmin says, his voice teasing. Soonyoung laughs, shaking his head a little.

“Did you get that approved by Jeonghan-hyung?” He asks, raising both eyebrows. “He was willing to make me his mortal enemy for _pretending_ to date you.”

“I still need to talk to him about that,” Seokmin says, pushing his fingers back through his hair.

“Nah,” Soonyoung says, shaking his head. “Don’t worry about it.”

“I don’t exactly need him trying to scare people off for me,” Seokmin says, listing his body sideways and leaning on Soonyoung, laughing. “I’m in low enough demand already.”

“Hey,” Soonyoung says, pushing his lower lip out in a pout. Seokmin looks over, his head tilted back to properly meet Soonyoung’s eyes. “Quit that.”

“Quit what?” Seokmin says, fluttering his eyes up at Soonyoung. “I’m busy every day making my way through a tidal wave of suitors.”

“Do you wanna go out?” Soonyoung asks, his arm stuck somewhere behind Seokmin’s back. He shifts to the other side a little, looking down at Seokmin. It looks for a moment like Seokmin blushes at that, but Soonyoung is sure it’s just a trick of the light. “We haven’t gone anywhere in a while and we all know I’m a better wingman than Seungkwan.”

Seokmin shakes his head, laughing a little. “Nah, it’s okay.”

“I’ll make it my mission to find you someone,” Soonyoung says, sitting up and pressing a hand dramatically to his chest. He upends Seokmin’s balance a little with the sudden motion, but he’s quick to catch himself. “I owe you already.”

“You don’t gotta worry about that, hyung!” Seokmin says, rubbing the back of his neck. “I don’t need any favors. And I don’t need you to find me a date.”

“You sure?” Soonyoung asks, tilting his head to the side. “It could be kinda fun.”

“I’m sure,” Seokmin says, patting Soonyoung’s knee and shaking his head. “Are you hungry?”

Soonyoung stares at him for a moment, a grin spreading on his face. “Didn’t you have dinner before you came over?”

Seokmin shrugs, laughing a little as Soonyoung pokes at his stomach. “You can’t blame me for being hungry! I just woke up.”

“Because you fell asleep in my bed,” Soonyoung says, wrestling his arm free and pushing himself up, shaking his head. “Fine. What’d you want?”

Seokmin leans forward on the bed, tilting his head with a long, thoughtful hum. “Ramen?”

“Yeah, that sounds good,” Soonyoung says, tossing Seokmin’s jacket at him and flicking the lights on. “You should go home and get some sleep after.”

“But we didn’t finish the movie,” Seokmin says, shaking his head. “We should come back and watch it.”

He stands, pulling his jacket on, grinning when Soonyoung rolls his eyes. “Do you even remember what was happening?”

“I remember the spies,” Seokmin says, stepping into his shoes, reaching out and holding onto Soonyoung’s shoulder to keep him balanced. “You can fill me in on the rest.”

Soonyoung rolls his eyes, holding onto Seokmin’s hand so he doesn’t topple over into the door. “We’ll watch it another time. You’re just gonna fall asleep again.”

“Probably,” Seokmin says, chuckling and following Soonyoung out the door. Soonyoung rolls his eyes, a smile on his face as he looks back at Seokmin. Seokmin has a wide smile on his face, his eyes curved up into crescents.

It’s odd, walking down the street with Seokmin next to him and realizing that he feels like he should be doing something— wrapping an arm around his side or holding onto his hand. He can’t name where the desire comes from; before, he never thought about anything like this with Seokmin.

He can remember all the way back to meeting Seokmin in his second year of high school when Seokmin was a bright, awkward kid. He always used to look at Soonyoung when he made a joke, like a puppy seeking approval. They haven’t changed all that much, or at least the two of them have changed together. Soonyoung doesn’t know how to feel about this sudden shift. It’s like trying to find his way home and realizing that someone has changed all the street signs on him.

“You’re quiet tonight,” Seokmin says, bumping his shoulder against Soonyoung’s with a small laugh. He has one of his eyebrows raised, and Soonyoung shakes his head, throwing his arm over Seokmin’s neck and ruffling his hair.

“How would you know? You were asleep!” He says, shaking his head. Seokmin laughs, hugging around Soonyoung’s side.

“Well, you’re quiet now!” Seokmin says, shaking his bangs away from his face. Soonyoung chuckles, shoving Seokmin along ahead of him.

“I’m taking you to eat, isn’t that enough?” Soonyoung says, holding the door open for Seokmin to go ahead of him.

“I suppose,” Seokmin says, chuckling as he takes his seat. “Are you excited for the trip?”

“Kinda?” Soonyoung says, shrugging a little. “Dance conferences are fun, usually, and I’m going with Minghao.”

“Why just kinda then?” Seokmin says, leaning on his elbows.

“Do you wanna fly to Hong Kong and dance for 3 days?” Soonyoung says, grinning. “It’ll just be tiring.”

“It’s nice that you get to spend your time doing what you love,” Seokmin says, his voice idle as he looks over the menu. Soonyoung hums a little, feeling a little bad for complaining. Seokmin doesn’t seem bothered, but Soonyoung is always too quick to forget that he has far more direction in his life than Seokmin. “And you’ve got another day to hang out with Minghao.”

“You’ll have to text me what food to bring back for you,” Soonyoung says, laughing when Seokmin looks up, his face lighting up. “One thing.”

“Just one?” He says, his smile giving away to a little pout. Soonyoung rolls his eyes.

“Yeah, just one. I don’t wanna have to bring another suitcase just for your snacks,” Soonyoung says, giving him a little shove. Seokmin laughs, leaning back into Soonyoung.

“Fine,” he says, wrinkling his nose as he agrees. It’s cute, but it makes Soonyoung realize how close the two of them are. His heart does a strange little jump, and he leans back, maybe a little too quickly. Seokmin blinks at him and Soonyoung feels a little odd.

He shuffles in his seat, looking down at the menu with a little frown. He doesn’t like feeling weird about being around Seokmin and he doesn’t like not knowing how he should act. It feels like everything he does, even things that are normal between them, is charged with a strange level of energy. But he can’t tell if it’s something that Seokmin notices or if it’s all in his head.

It isn’t like he can just ask if Seokmin is still thinking about the fact that they kissed. He’s never held onto a single kiss this hard— even with people he was dating, and while he’s not really excited to go most of a week without seeing Seokmin, it feels like the time apart might actually help clear his head a little.

**{* * *}**

As sore as he is from two straight days of learning and practicing new routines, Soonyoung is enjoying taking in Hong Kong with Minghao. He has their arms linked together, though Minghao has been trying to free himself from Soonyoung's grasp since they left the hotel.

"I'll get lost if we get separated," Soonyoung says, grinning when Minghao rolls his eyes.

"What makes you think I won't get lost? I've been here as much as you have," Minghao grumbles, though he doesn't try to wrestle his way free again. Soonyoung laughs, leaning his cheek on Minghao's shoulder.

"At least you can ask someone," he says, enjoying the chance to tease him. "We didn't get lost last time, anyway."

"We were with Jun-hyung last time," Minghao says, sighing dramatically. "Do we really need to find this one crab place?"

"Yes," Soonyoung sys, trying not to laugh as Minghao grows more and more annoyed with him. They've passed at least fifty other places to eat in search of one specific restaurant that another dancer told Soonyoung about.

As fun as it is to torment Minghao, and it is the most fun Soonyoung has had on this whole trip, he's also starving. The market around them is bright with lights as night starts to really set in and everything smells delicious. Soonyoung's stomach rumbles loudly and Minghao gives him a withering look.

"What about burgers?" Minghao says, pointing a dozen feet ahead of them with his free arm. Soonyoung stares at its cheery red sign, his hunger battling with his resolve for a long moment.

"Yeah," he says, laughing, letting his hunger win this time. "As long as you do the ordering."

"All you have to do is point," Minghao says, finally shaking his arm free from Soonyoung. He hovers as Minghao walks away to get them food, digging his phone out of his pocket while he waits.

For the last two days, Soonyoung has been struggling with every message he's sent to Seokmin. He feels like he's sixteen all over again, agonizing over every word he wants to send to a crush. 

Except he doesn't have a crush on Seokmin.

Or at least he's not supposed to. The confusion that had been bothering him while Seokmin dozed on his shoulder followed him here as well. He scowls just a little at the last message he received from Seokmin, early in the morning when he must have been getting ready for work.

**(Minnie):** _do great today!! remember to soak your feet_

Soonyoung had replied with the image of a little cartoon dog giving a thumbs up and left it at that. He's fairly certain he never missed Seokmin when he was away on one of these trips before. There was no reason to; he goes four days without seeing his best friend all the time.

That doesn't change the fact that he wants to call him now, even if it makes no sense at all. He hesitates, looking up at Minghao to make sure he's still focused on food before holding his phone out and taking a quick picture of himself, the lights of the market casting different colors across his face as he smiles. He sends the picture before he can think too hard about what he's doing, following it quickly with another message.

**(10:10):** _i bullied Minghao into buying me food_

He tucks his phone back into his pocket before Minghao gets back to him, holding his hands out to take his own food and eying the pair of cokes tucked under Minghao's other arm with a grin. "You're going to ruin my diet."

"Good," Minghao says, laughing when Soonyoung steals one of the sodas from him. They wind up seated on a low wall facing the other side of the street.

"I gotta find snacks for Seokmin," Soonyoung says as they sit and eat, the paper wrapper from the burger spread over his lap. Minghao smiles at that, shaking his head.

"Of course he wants food," he says, amused, and Soonyoung nods.

"Aren't you getting something for Mingyu?" He asks, leaning into Minghao's side a little. Minghao shrugs, pausing for a moment to take a bite.

"I dunno," he says, shaking his head. "If I see something, I guess? He always says he doesn't need anything."

"So romantic," Soonyoung teases, laughing when Minghao huffs at him.

"At least I'm not pissing off his boyfriend," Minghao says, looking over at Soonyoung with both eyebrows raised. Soonyoung blinks, his head leaning to the side.

"Mingyu has another boyfriend?"

"Seokmin, you idiot," Minghao says, shoving at Soonyoung's shoulder. "He didn't tell you about his date?"

"I don't think he's been on a date," Soonyoung says, his stomach twisting oddly at the thought. Out of anyone, he's sure that he'd know.

"He was meeting someone's parents," Minghao says, sharp and frustrated, and Soonyoung blinks his eyes as it dawns on him.

He probably shouldn't laugh, except that he's already grinning madly and he probably won't be able to resist the urge. Minghao only looks more irritated with him, his eyes narrowed. "You do know about it."

"It was with me," Soonyoung says, doing his best to swallow his laughter. "He was meeting my parents."

Apparently, Minghao doesn't find it nearly as funny as Soonyoung does, because his expression only darkens further. "You two went on a date?"

"Only in the eyes of my family," Soonyoung says, shaking his head. "I just wanted my parents to stop worrying about me dating all the time, so I told them I was dating Seokmin."

"Did you tell him to lie to me about it too?" Minghao says, his food laying forgotten in his lap now, and the tone of his voice makes Soonyoung forget about laughing it off.

"It wasn't supposed to be a secret or anything," Soonyoung says, shaking his head. "I told Jihoon all about it too."

"Seokmin acted like it was life or death," Minghao says, setting his food to the side to dig his phone out, his lips pressed into a straight line. "He said it was a secret and he'd tell me about it later."

"Oh," Soonyoung says, his voice sounding weak to his own ears. He was hardly trying to keep it from anybody— he didn't know that Seokmin had been avoiding telling anyone. He reaches out, squeezing Minghao's arm gently. "Don't get upset with Minnie. It wasn't really that big a deal."

"Is that why he went to that wedding with you?" Minghao asks, still looking at his phone rather than at Soonyoung.

"Yeah," Soonyoung says when Minghao doesn't look up to see him nod. "He was my date, kinda."

"And he didn't tell me then either."

Soonyoung can't help but grimace because he can remember Seokmin mentioning off-hand that he hadn't told Minghao and he's definitely going to be the cause of his best friend's death now.

"Am I wasting my time telling you not to get pissed?" Soonyoung asks, planting his cheek against Minghao's shoulder and giving him an imploring look. "As your hyung."

"Pretty much," Minghao says, shaking his head and shoving his phone in his pocket, probably after sending Seokmin a very colorfully worded death threat. "Dunno why he wouldn't just say that's what it was for."

Soonyoung can't help but agree with him there, but he keeps that fact to himself, looking down at his burger again with a little frown. He feels bad, of course, for causing trouble between Seokmin and Minghao, but he can't understand why Seokmin thought being Soonyoung's fake boyfriend a few times was worthy of keeping secret from Minghao, of all people.

"Do you wanna get those spicy rice cakes?" He asks after a long moment, bumping his elbow into Minghao's side. "You can have all of them since just looking at them hurts my mouth."

Minghao purses his lips at that, thinking it over for a moment before nodding and standing up. "Only if you pay. Since you're my hyung."

Soonyoung should have seen that coming, but he laughs, patting Minghao on the shoulder and standing as well. "Fine."

**{* * *}**

Seokmin has checked the arrival time for Soonyoung’s plane at least fourteen times since he got up that morning. He’s trying to be subtle about it, but Jeonghan is giving him a look that makes him think he’s probably not being nearly as relaxed about things as he wants to be.

Granted, Jeonghan has been giving him a lot of these looks lately. Seokmin is doing his best to ignore it, looking intently at the bag of lettuce in his hand like he’s truly getting information from the label.

“Are you gonna look at your phone again?” Jeonghan says, a little smile at the corners of his lips.

“It’s fine,” Seokmin says, looking up with a grin. “I’m gonna break into his apartment anyway.”

Jeonghan laughs at that, shaking his head and brushing his hair over his shoulder. “Isn’t that a little…?”

“I’m gonna cook him dinner!” Seokmin says, putting the lettuce down and looking over at Jeonghan. “It’ll be nice.”

“If you say so,” Jeonghan says, his voice a coo. “It’s definitely not a stalker move.”

Seokmin rolls his eyes, then looks up at Jeonghan plaintively. “What stuff do I need for fried rice, anyway?”

In spite of his teasing, Jeonghan helps Seokmin pick out what he needs to cook without making an utter fool of himself. The two of them are standing at the entrance to the store, a pair of stocked bags clutched in Seokmin’s arms and a wide smile on his face. Jeonghan looks a little more dubious.

“You’re sure you can handle it?” He says, a teasing smile on his face. “You’re like… the worst cook I know.”

“Hyung, I’m fine,” Seokmin says after he rolls his eyes, adjusting the bags in his arms. “I feed myself all the time.”

“You also set your apartment on fire last month,” Jeonghan says, shaking his head. “I’m just saying I can help you cook and leave before Soonyoung gets back.”

“That was one time,” Seokmin whines, shaking his head. “This is easy, quit worrying.”

“Alright,” Jeonghan says, still looking amused, holding both hands up in front of him. “Have fun making your stalker meal.”

Seokmin sighs and Jeonghan blows him a kiss before walking off in the other direction.

As it turns out, Jeonghan has plenty of reason to be worried about Seokmin’s success at cooking. Breaking into Soonyoung’s apartment is easy; he’s had a spare key as long as Soonyoung has lived there.

The cooking is another matter. He manages to make a strange, burnt mass of rice and ham that he definitely wouldn’t want to feed to himself, let alone Soonyoung, and on top of it all now the whole apartment smells like burnt kimchi.

So, before Soonyoung walks through the door and decides to find himself a new best friend, Seokmin orders a truly obscene amount of Thai food from a place nearby that he knows Soonyoung likes and throws the windows open.

It’s too late in the season for cherry blossoms to come floating in the window, but the breeze does help dull the smell.

On a whim, before the delivery food gets to the door, Seokmin lights a pair of candles on Soonyoung’s coffee table, looking at them with a grin.

When the door opens, Seokmin is in the cramped space of his kitchen, scrubbing desperately at the pan he used to try to cook. Soonyoung pauses, staring at the lit candles on the table with the door still open behind him.

“Um,” he says, his voice loud enough to carry through the small space. “This is a very weird robbery.”

“Welcome home,” Seokmin calls, shutting the water off and stepping away from the sink, trying to shake the soap off of his hands. “I came to make you dinner!”

Soonyoung blinks at him, the confusion on his face slowly giving way to a smile, swinging the door shut. “Is my kitchen still intact?”

“One hundred percent,” Seokmin says, wiping his wet hands off on his jeans. “Though one of your pans had a bad day.”

Soonyoung laughs, setting his bag on the couch. He stands there in the middle of the room like he’s not sure how he’s supposed to greet Seokmin. It makes Seokmin hesitate, leaning his shoulder against the wall with a smile.

“So, that means no food?” Soonyoung says after an odd, quiet moment passes, the smile still on his face.

“That means I ordered you pad thai,” Seokmin says, and Soonyoung claps his hands together, laughing.

“That’s even better,” he says, taking a seat on the old couch that took four people to carry up to his apartment. Seokmin smiles, sitting down next to him.

As soon as Seokmin sits, Soonyoung lists sideways, laying his head in Seokmin’s lap with a long sigh. “I’m so tired, Minnie.”

“Did you have fun?” Seokmin asks, smiling down at him. Soonyoung nods, though it’s interrupted by a long yawn that splits his jaw.

“Yeah,” he says, stretching his arms over his head, occupying as much space as possible on the couch. “We did some pretty cool routines and I didn’t let Minghao run me into the ground too hard.”

“You must be getting old, hyung,” Seokmin says, poking one of Soonyoung’s cheeks with a smile. “Usually you’re dragging him and Jun all around the city.”

“I know,” Soonyoung groans, turning his head to look cross-eyed at Seokmin’s finger. “They must have changed organizers because I was so worn out.”

“Old,” Seokmin teases, chuckling. He pats Soonyoung’s shoulder when there’s a knock on the door, pushing himself off the couch when Soonyoung sits up.

He’d complain about paying for the food but he’s pretty sure there’s no way to bring Soonyoung’s pan back to life. Instead, he sits on the couch with an armful of hot Thai food and rolls his eyes when he catches Soonyoung fiddling with one of the candles, stretched out over the couch.

“These are nice. Are these mine?” Soonyoung asks, sitting up to make room for Seokmin.

“Yeah, they were under the sink,” Seokmin says, sitting with a little laugh. “They smell good.”

“Someone must have given them to me,” Soonyoung says, pulling several containers out of the bed, making a happy sound as he opens one. “Are you sure you aren’t secretly an angel?”

“I think so,” Seokmin says, glancing over at Soonyoung with a smile. “I just figured it’d be nice to welcome you home.”

It’s as close as he wants to get to admitting that he missed Soonyoung like he does every time he goes away. It doesn’t matter that it’s only a few days at a time, Seokmin always wakes up every morning with an acute sense of longing lodged in the center of his chest.

“Hey,” Soonyoung says, halfway through eating his food and watching the same spy movie that Seokmin fell asleep during last time. “Did Minghao call you?”

Seokmin wrinkles his nose, scratching the back of his head, careful not to get any rice in his hair, chopsticks still in his hand. “No, but he texted me. I'm sure I'll hear from him again later.”

“Sorry about that,” Soonyoung says, reaching over and grabbing the remote to pause the movie. “I forgot you said you hadn’t told him.”

“No, it’s fine,” Seokmin says, laughing just a little. “I don’t think he’s gonna kill me, at least.”

There’s the implication of a question hanging in the air between them— why didn’t he just tell Minghao from the start?

It’s not an answer he can explain to Soonyoung. He’s been playing much too close to the truth already these past few weeks. But Soonyoung doesn’t ask, he just bumps his shoulder gently into Seokmin’s, still smiling. Seokmin smiles back, patting Soonyoung's leg with a laugh. "You're not gonna fall asleep after you eat, are you?"

"Excuse me," Soonyoung grumbles, laughing. "You're the one who fell asleep last time."

"I know," Seokmin says, shaking his head. "That's why I have to make sure we both stay up and finish this terrible movie."

With that, he leans forward and starts it again, glad that Soonyoung lets the subject slip by. He glances at Seokmin again, though, and there's something in his expression that Seokmin can't quite name.

"Have you been thinking about," Soonyoung starts, leaning back on the couch, a little frown on his face. Seokmin turns to him, and Soonyoung seems stuck on whatever he's trying to say, his brow furrowed.

"Thinking about what, hyung?" Seokmin prods after a moment, his head leaning a little to the side, curious.

Soonyoung glances up at him before looking back at the screen, shaking his head. "Dating stuff, I guess."

He laughs when he says it, rolling his shoulders in a shrug, but Seokmin's heart freezes in the middle of his chest.

"Wonwoo's been bugging me lately," Soonyoung says, his lips tilted up in a smile. "Cuz he has a crush on Jun. I told him I'd go out with the two of them soon so he could make a move."

"Oh," Seokmin says, feeling his face flush warm. "You want me to come?"

"If you do then I won't be their third wheel," Soonyoung says, nodding his head. Seokmin laughs, though it comes out strangely for a second. He's glad Soonyoung doesn't seem to notice.

"Yeah, I'll come," Seokmin says, flopping back on the couch next to Soonyoung. "As long as Minghao doesn't murder me."

"Good," Soonyoung says. He pats Seokmin's leg in thanks, but rather than pulling his hand back he just lets it lay on Seokmin's thigh. There's no real intent behind it; it's not like he's even really holding Seokmin's leg. But Seokmin can't ignore it and he spends the rest of the movie with the heat of Soonyoung's palm like a brand against his skin.

Even after Soonyoung drifts off to sleep, his head leaning lightly on Seokmin's shoulder, Seokmin doesn't have the heart to push his hand away.

**{* * *}**

Seokmin can't help but think of Minghao pounding on the door of his apartment as anything other than a death sentence. He knows Minghao well enough to know that this conversation is only going to go one of two ways, and he's not very excited about either outcome.

If he's lucky, Minghao will just kill him and get it over with, but Seokmin doesn't think he's going to be that lucky. He opens the door with his best approximation of a smile, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. "Minghao-ya!"

"Move," Minghao says, voice sharp already, nudging Seokmin out of his way. Seokmin steps to the side, blinking in surprise when Mingyu trails through the door after him. Seokmin’s stomach sinks to the floor as he closes the door.

He’s probably not going to be able to keep the truth away from Minghao and having Mingyu there to listen in only makes things worse. Minghao sits, glaring at the both of them and not saying anything, but Mingyu pauses to pat Seokmin on the shoulder with a strained laugh. “I tried to get him to calm down.”

“It’s okay,” Seokmin says, nerves plain in his voice. He gestures for Mingyu to sit before he takes a seat on the floor in front of the couch, feeling like he’s stepped in front of a firing squad.

“So?” Minghao says, both eyebrows raised. Seokmin frowns.

“You can’t, um, tell anyone else about this,” Seokmin says, stumbling over his words. He’s more nervous about what he knows he needs to admit in front of the both of them than he is about Minghao being mad at him. Minghao’s been mad at him before; Seokmin knows how to worm his way out of that.

But, other than the one time he told Seungkwan, Seokmin has never _said_ that he’s in love with Soonyoung. At least not out loud.

“Tell anyone what?” Mingyu says, looking between the both of them. “I thought you and Soonyoung were just acting like you were together…”

“We were,” Seokmin says, looking down at his lap rather than at the both of them. “But that wasn’t really supposed to be a secret or anything.”

“You said it was,” Minghao says, his eyes narrowed. “You didn’t wanna talk to me about it at all.”

“Yeah,” Seokmin says softly, his throat tight. Minghao hums, soft and annoyed, staring at Seokmin. It makes Seokmin feel too exposed like Minghao has already figured him out somehow. Seokmin twists his fingers together nervously. “I didn’t really wanna tell anyone about it.”

“I don’t get it,” Mingyu says, his brow furrowed. “Why’s that worth keeping secret? Did you guys kiss or something?”

“Well, yeah,” Seokmin says, doing his best to laugh. He hasn’t told Jeonghan about that yet, either, hoping to avoid another lecture on why he’s doing the wrong thing. “But that was, um, after.”

Minghao crosses his arms over his chest, silent, and Seokmin sucks a deep breath in, trying to make it easier to speak.

“I didn’t wanna say anything about it cuz I’m—” he hesitates, looking up at the both of them and then away again. “I’m kind of in love? With Soonyoung.”

For a long moment, it seems like nothing in the room dares move. Seokmin holds his breath and Mingyu is looking at him like he’s just announced a plan to shave his head and run off to a monastery.

Minghao’s mouth twists further into a frown, but Seokmin can see the way his eyes soften. “You kissed him?”

“He kissed me,” Seokmin says, shaking his head. “At the wedding.”

“So you _are_ dating Soonyoung?” Mingyu asks, and Seokmin smiles at the hopeful spark in his eyes before he shakes his head.

“Nah, Soonyoung doesn’t like me,” Seokmin says, wishing he didn’t have to explain so much out loud. Minghao rolls his eyes at that, slapping Mingyu hard on the shoulder.

“Ya! What kinda question is that?” He says, shaking his head. “Obviously they’re not together, you idiot.”

“Why am I the one getting yelled at?” Mingyu asks, whining as he rubs at his shoulder.

“Who else have you told?” Minghao asks, ignoring Mingyu entirely.

“Just Seungkwannie,” Seokmin says, shifting a little in his spot on the floor. “Jeonghan-hyung figured it out for himself, but he knows too.”

“Wait,” Mingyu says, letting go of his shoulder with a little frown. “When you told me there was someone you liked in school was that Soonyoung-hyung?”

“Yeah,” Seokmin says, laughing a little. “I didn’t think you would remember that.”

There were more shots of soju involved in even that confession than Seokmin cares to remember. Mingyu has the same slightly queasy look on his face that Seokmin feels at the memory. There’s a thoughtful scowl on Minghao’s face like he’s still deciding what he should do with this information.

“Is he still gonna throw me out the window?” Seokmin says, leaning forward to whisper loudly at Mingyu. There’s a little catch of a smile on Mingyu’s face, leaning toward Seokmin as well.

“I’m not sure,” he says, glancing at Minghao.

Minghao rolls his eyes at both of them, shaking his head. “You two are both idiots.”

“Sorry I didn’t tell you,” Seokmin says, looking up at Minghao with his very best puppy eyes. It’s mostly a futile effort since Minghao developed an immunity to both him and Mingyu somewhere in the middle of their first year of college.

“I’m not gonna throw you,” Minghao says, waving a hand at Seokmin though there’s still a little frown on his face.

“Thanks,” Seokmin says, shuffling forward to lay his chin on Minghao’s knee. “I don’t think we’re gonna be doing it anymore, anyway.”

“Are you gonna kiss him again?” Mingyu asks and Seokmin laughs, trying to ignore the way his chest stings a little bit when he shakes his head.

“No, we’re not gonna kiss again,” Seokmin says, lifting his head and leaning his back against his small love seat. “He only did it because he wanted people to believe we were dating.”

Minghao’s frown gets sharper and Seokmin shoves his leg a little. “It’s fine.”

“Did Seungkwan already tell you that you shouldn’t have done it?” Minghao says, and Seokmin nods his head.

“Like, fifty times,” Seokmin says, smiling though he can tell it comes off a little sad. He does his best not to spend time being _sad_ about the relationship he doesn’t have with Soonyoung. He far prefers to be happy about the one he does have; Soonyoung is his best friend and to Seokmin that’s always been more important than anything else.

But lately, with everything that’s happened between them, it’s been harder than usual. He always notices he’s about to cry a moment too late after his eyes have already started welling up. He ducks his head, hoping to keep Mingyu and Minghao from noticing.

He’s too slow for that too, and he ends up knocked flat on the floor, half-crushed under the bulk of Mingyu’s large body. Seokmin yelps, though it comes out watery and muffled, most of the air already pushed out of his lungs.

“Mingyu-ya,” Seokmin wheezes, wrapping his arms weakly around Mingyu’s back. “You’re gonna squish me.”

“You’re crying,” Mingyu says, his voice loud next to Seokmin’s ear and Seokmin tries to flail an arm up to wipe at his eyes.

He’s not even _really_ crying, there are just tears in his eyes. He shoots a desperate look to Minghao, who rolls his eyes before kicking Mingyu’s shoulder a little.

“Sit up, you oaf,” he says and Mingyu swats at his ankle before he does. He pulls Seokmin up as well, and there’s not an ounce of apology in the way he smiles. It makes Seokmin grin at him in return, leaning sideways to lay his head on Mingyu’s shoulder.

“I wasn’t even crying,” he says, grumbling just a little. Mingyu's fingers catch Seokmin's chin, turning his head so the two of them are face to face like he still might be able to catch Seokmin with tears in his eyes. There are none to find, and Mingyu drops his hand with a disappointed sound.

"Well, it _looked_ like you were," Mingyu says, rubbing the back of his neck. Seokmin rolls his eyes, elbowing at Mingyu's side a little.

"Sorry to let you down," he says, laughing just a little. He looks up at Minghao again, biting the inside of his lip. "You're not gonna say anything to Soonyoung-hyung, are you?"

Minghao looks like he's thinking that over for a moment. "You mean am I gonna tell him he's being an ass?"

"Anything," Seokmin says, drawing the word out to try and make sure Minghao understands. "I know you don't like keeping secrets, but…"

"It's not my business to tell him your feelings," Minghao says, shaking his head. He sighs, and Seokmin knows what's coming next before Minghao opens his mouth to speak. "You should tell him, though."

"I can't do that," Seokmin says, looking down at his hands just so he doesn't have to answer to both of their faces. "It would only mess things up more if I did."

Now more than ever, Seokmin is sure of that much.

"I just wanna forget about the whole thing," Seokmin says after neither of them answers him. He looks up, this time making sure his smile is easy and bright like it should be. "He asked me to go out with him this weekend anyway. I think he wants to find me a date."

Minghao looks at him in a way that Seokmin is intimately familiar with. “Are you kidding me?”

“It’ll be fun,” Seokmin says like he really does believe that. When Minghao raises one of his eyebrows, Seokmin shrugs one of his shoulders. “I gotta get over it sometime, right?”

“Isn’t that supposed to happen before you kiss him?” Minghao asks, shaking his head, but Mingyu throws his arm over Seokmin’s shoulders.

“No, after they kiss Soonyoung is supposed to realize that he’s been in love with Seokmin-ah the whole time,” Mingyu says, holding onto Seokmin tightly. “You’re the one who wants to watch all those romance movies, you should know this.”

“I don’t think that’s going to happen,” Seokmin says, his cheeks burning a little. Minghao sighs, smacking the back of Mingyu’s head softly.

“That’s not how things really go,” Minghao snaps, snorting when Mingyu rubs his head with a little pout. “Idiot.”

Mingyu sulks, though it’s immediately erased when Minghao ruffles his hair with one hand, running his fingers through Mingyu’s hair lightly. Seokmin would tease him for being such an easy target if he wasn’t struck by how much he envies it, sometimes. It’s not fair— Seokmin knows better than anyone else that even getting the two of them together was a task unto itself. He had to spend weeks convincing Mingyu that it was even worth trying to have a relationship with Minghao, no matter what his family thought about it.

Mingyu leans his head lightly into Minghao’s hand, like a dog having his ears rubbed and Seokmin detaches himself from Mingyu’s side with a little laugh. He ducks into the kitchen for a drink and a moment away from watching the two of them. For the most part, he’s used to his friends pairing off while he spends his time reluctantly dating and pining.

But he’s coming quickly to the point where he has to find some way of letting go of his feelings for Soonyoung.

**{* * *}**

Usually, Seokmin wouldn’t describe working in his particular office as coming with any perks. He sits at a desk in a bullpen and edits whatever he gets assigned and sometimes he gets to take home advance copies of books that he works on.

There is, however, one major perk: Jung Jaehyun.

Jaehyun is the assistant to one of the agents that works closely with Seokmin’s company, which means every so often, he’ll come in on the heels of his very handsome boss and stand around the office like he isn’t sure what to do with himself while Jongdae is in meetings with someone more important.

He’s doing that now— standing in their break room and looking at his phone and Seokmin is trying to be as subtle as he can in staring at Jaehyun from his desk. Jaehyun is handsome in a way that Seokmin finds totally intimidating; he’s tall and dark-haired, with a dimpled smile that Seokmin is pretty sure someone somewhere has written poetry about.

If his comfortably open button down is anything to go by, Jaehyun is handsome in other ways too, but Seokmin tries not to think too hard about that. He’s been barely able to squeak out a hello every time he and Jaehyun have talked.

Which has been every time Jaehyun has been in their office. Seokmin isn’t sure if that means Jaehyun likes him or if he just feels bad for how painfully awkward Seokmin is.

**(Minnie):** _sos!!! Jaehyun-ah is here again_

**(Kwannie):** _that’s not an sos. Go talk to him_

**(Kwannie):** _it’s lunch time. Ask him to go eat w/ you_

Seokmin’s ears feel warm just at the suggestion. He steals another glance at Jaehyun, who is no longer looking at his phone but at the paper cup full of bad coffee that someone must have handed him. He catches Seokmin looking and smiles, sliding his phone back into his pocket and walking over.

“Seokmin-ah, it’s been awhile,” he says, his voice low and warm. Seokmin’s heart stops beating altogether, but he nods his head dumbly in agreement. Jaehyun doesn’t seem put off by his silence. “Jongdae-hyung told me I could go for lunch during his meeting but I don’t know anywhere to eat around here.”

“Oh,” Seokmin says, clearing his throat awkwardly to even get that much out. He’s pretty sure he’s never felt this nervous around another human being, but he’s also pretty sure there’s no one else out there that’s as handsome as Jaehyun. “There’s, um, a few good places, I guess?”

“Do you have a recommendation?” Jaehyun says, leaning his hip on the edge of Seokmin’s desk. Seokmin’s mouth feels dry, which is a big contrast to the fact that his palms are sweating.

“W- well I was going to get chicken today,” he says, smiling when Jaehyun nods his head. His fingers are spread out a little over the mess of papers on Seokmin’s desk and Seokmin catches himself wondering if it’s strange to find someone’s hand attractive.

“Would you mind terribly if I joined you?” Jaehyun asks, tapping his fingers gently. The smile on his face is a touch shy though Seokmin can’t imagine anyone saying ‘no’ to him about anything.

“That’s fine,” Seokmin says, standing up too fast from his desk. It makes his chair roll several feet back, and Seokmin can hear the stifled giggle of the girl who sits next to him. He scrambles to push it back in, laughing. Jaehyun’s smile is wide and genuine and Seokmin is tempted to pinch himself on the arm, wondering if this is all some kind of very vivid dream.

Jaehyun gestures for him to lead the way and Seokmin does, praying that he doesn’t do something even more embarrassing like trip over himself or fall down the stairs.

**(Minnie):** _I did it!! We’re getting lunch pls don’t wake me up_

**(Kwannie):** _you go, tiger_

Seokmin bites his lip, trying not to laugh at Seungkwan’s message.

They manage, at least, to make it to the restaurant without incident, though as soon as they sit Seokmin realizes in a panic that he has no idea what he should say to Jaehyun. He clears his throat, floundering desperately for anything, but Jaehyun beats him to it.

“I’m glad I finally found a chance to drag you out of the office,” he says, and Seokmin feels a little bit like he might faint. “I usually don’t get to eat with anyone other than Jongdae-hyung.”

“He seems like a nice boss,” Seokmin says, clenching his fist under the table as soon as the words are out of his mouth. He’s pretty sure he couldn’t make himself sound any more dull and stupid, but Jaehyun just laughs.

“He’s not bad to work for,” he says, shrugging. “He doesn’t call me in the middle of the night or ask me to do anything weird like wash his car.”

“Do agents really do that?” Seokmin asks, leaning forward a little, a smile on his face. “All I have to do is make sure I remember to bring in coffee when it’s my turn.”

“Some of them do,” Jaehyun says, nodding as he looks down at the menu. “I have a friend who has to take care of his boss’ bird every day.”

“What kind of bird?” Seokmin asks without thinking. He’s full of nothing but stupid questions today, it seems, but Jaehyun laughs.

“It’s a parrot,” he says, his dimples showing on his cheeks as he grins. “Apparently it learned my friend’s name and now it yells at him every day.”

Seokmin laughs, wrinkling his nose a little. “I guess it’s good you don’t have to deal with anything like that.”

“Mostly I handle meetings and coffee,” Jaehyun says, shaking his bangs out of his face. “It’s not the most exciting work in the world but it’s steady and I’m learning a lot from Jongdae-hyung.”

He pauses in talking for the both of them to order their food and Jaehyun looks back at Seokmin with a wide smile. “But my job is boring, what about you?”

“Me?” Seokmin asks, squeaking out a laugh. “My job isn’t very exciting, either.”

“But you’re interesting,” Jaehyun says, leaning forward a little, his fingers curled at the side of his neck. Seokmin’s mind goes blank for a minute and he laughs without meaning to. Jaehyun blinks at him, smiling. “You don’t agree?”

“I don’t think many people find me that interesting,” Seokmin says, licking his lips nervously. “Um, I like dogs a lot?”

He makes Jaehyun laugh with that, but it’s a warm laugh and it makes Seokmin feel like he’s not really being laughed _at_. He wrinkles his nose a little as he smiles, scratching the back of his head. “I guess that doesn’t count as being very interesting either since I don’t have a dog.”

“No?” Jaehyun says, his head leaning a little to the side. “You seem like you’d be good at raising one.”

“My apartment doesn’t allow pets,” Seokmin says, fiddling his hands in his lap a little. He’s not used to feeling like someone is so interested in what he has to say and it only makes him more nervous about every word that comes out of his mouth.

He’s saved from mumbling embarrassingly about Hansol’s dog by their food arriving, meaning he has a few minutes to focus just on eating and answering whatever questions that Jaehyun asks him since he’s doing a much better job of carrying on the conversation than Seokmin is.

“This might be a weird question,” Jaehyun says, his head ducked a little, looking at the food in front of him with a shy smile. ”Are you busy on Saturday?” 

It’s shy and sweet and Seokmin is about to promise to give Jaehyun anything he wants for the rest of his life when he remembers that he _is_ busy.

Because he made plans to go out with Soonyoung.

“I’m supposed to go out with friends of mine,” Seokmin says, his shoulders slumping a little. Seungkwan is going to kill him for turning down a real, actual date to get drunk and moon over Soonyoung. Jaehyun’s smile falls just a little like he’s not sure if Seokmin is just trying to let him down gently. Seokmin shifts in his seat, biting the corner of his lip. “But we pretty much always go to Jam Jam and if you were there we might see each other?”

Jaehyun picks his head up and smiles, the dimples on his cheeks standing out again. “Does that mean I can ask you for your number, too?”

Seokmin nods his head so hard he almost breaks his neck, making sure he closes out of his messages with Seungkwan before passing his phone over the table.


	5. get what you give

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, forewarning, there's smut in this chapter. If you're uncomfortable reading it, go ahead and skip over the final scene of the chapter~

“There’s no way you can think this is a good idea,” Wonwoo says, his voice too flat, nerves pulling all the inflection out of it.

“What else are you gonna do?” Soonyoung says, rolling his eyes and giving Wonwoo a shove, almost sending him stumbling down the stairs. Wonwoo makes an offended sound, looking over his shoulder to glare up at Soonyoung. “Are you just gonna leave it like this forever?”

“Why not?” Wonwoo says, his mouth gathered into a scowl. “Isn’t it better than screwing it all up?”

“You’re so overdramatic, my god,” Soonyoung says, groaning. “Seriously? Are you gonna chicken out?”

“Yes,” Wonwoo says, pausing at the door to his apartment building, stuffing his hands in his pockets. “I’m gonna go back upstairs and go to bed.”

“No you’re not,” Soonyoung says, reaching out and grabbing Wonwoo’s arm. “No way. You gotta do _something_.”

“I swear you have no survival instincts,” Wonwoo says, griping as Soonyoung pulls him out the door alongside him. “If we lived on the savanna you’d be dead in a week.”

“Good thing we live in a city,” Soonyoung says, a grin on his face. Wonwoo sighs, shaking Soonyoung’s arm off him but walking along without being pulled now. Wonwoo’s mouth twitches, tempted toward a smile that he doesn’t give away just yet.

“How was your work trip?” Wonwoo says, in a transparent attempt to take Soonyoung’s focus off the night at hand. Transparent as it is, it works just fine for redirecting Soonyoung’s attention.

“It was pretty fun,” he says, licking his lips and tucking his hands into his own pockets. It’s not a lie, and it isn’t the trip that makes Soonyoung’s stomach flutter with a sort of nervous energy. Wonwoo seems to notice it anyway, looking over with one eyebrow lifted.

“What?” He asks, giving Soonyoung a little shove when he doesn’t answer right away. “Something happen in Hong Kong?”

“Nah,” Soonyoung says, giving in after a moment with a sigh. “It was when I got back.”

Wonwoo nods his head, obviously waiting for Soonyoung to tell the story on his own rather than prodding him with questions. It means that Soonyoung has to find the best way to explain without any help, leaving him frowning as he walks.

“Seokminnie surprised me when I got home,” he says, figuring it’s best to just tell the story as it is. There’s no reason he should still feel so confused by it. It was a simple act of kindness from a friend.

Even if, at the time, it’d felt much more like a date. He glances over, though he doesn’t really expect a response out of Wonwoo. He’s always been someone who listens without just waiting for his turn to talk, which has made him a good friend over the years in spite of how annoying he is.

“He was gonna make me dinner but… It’s Seokmin,” Soonyoung says, gesturing with a little laugh. “So we ended up ordering Thai food and watching a crappy movie.”

“That doesn’t sound unusual,” Wonwoo says, cocking his head a little to the side. “Isn’t that like, your normal Friday night?”

“Yeah, but it’s different,” Soonyoung says, shaking his head. “Everything’s been weird since we kissed at that wedding—”

“Woah woah,” Wonwoo says, stopping and grabbing hold of Soonyoung’s arm. “Rewind?”

“At my cousin’s wedding,” Soonyoung says, speaking more slowly like somehow it’ll be less strange to say that way. Wonwoo’s face is flat, unimpressed. “We, uh, kissed.”

“Why would you kiss him at the wedding?” Wonwoo asks, frowning now.

“Because he was kind of my date…” Soonyoung says, ducking just in time to avoid Wonwoo swatting at his head. “Hey! Watch it!”

“This whole time you’ve been sneaking around with Seokmin-ah?” He says, shaking his head. “I should throttle you.”

“I’m not doing anything with him,” Soonyoung says, running his fingers back through his hair, upsetting the neat order of his bangs. “We aren’t dating it was just… for family stuff.”

“And you kissed?”

“Yeah,” Soonyoung says, biting his lip. “I didn’t think it’d be such a big deal but since then…”

“So wait,” Wonwoo says, reluctantly starting to walk again. “This whole time you’ve been giving me shit about talking to Jun while you what? Just kiss Seokmin?”

“It’s not like that,” Soonyoung says, tilting his head back with a groan. “I don’t have a thing for him like you do for Junnie.”

“Really?” Wonwoo says, narrowing his eyes as he looks over at Soonyoung. “Then why is it weird?”

“I don’t know,” Soonyoung says, grumbling and shooting Wonwoo a glare. “I don’t know why it’s weird. It just is.”

“It’s weird because you like him,” Wonwoo says, sounding far more certain about it than Soonyoung thinks is fair.

It’s not that clear-cut, at least not as far as Soonyoung can tell. He certainly feels something when he thinks about Seokmin— something that’s different than it was before, he’s just… not sure what it is. How to put a name to it.

“I don’t think so,” Soonyoung says after a pause that stretches too long. Wonwoo rolls his eyes at that.

“All this shit about Jun and you’re an even bigger mess than I am,” he says, a little grin on his face. Soonyoung makes a sharp, offended sound, punching him in the shoulder.

“That’s not even possible.”

**{* * *}**

The thing about going out to clubs with Soonyoung that Seokmin has learned over the years is that no matter where they go, Soonyoung is something of a magnetic person.

So even when they’re supposed to be focused on Wonwoo and Jun, Soonyoung has had at least four different people show up to buy him drinks so far.

The most recent one is a disturbingly blue cocktail that Seokmin is giving a very dubious look.

“What do you think is in that?” He asks, leaning forward to peer at the drink. Soonyoung laughs, his hand laying on the small of Seokmin’s back as he leans over. Jun leans forward as well, pulling the drink across the table and taking a quick sip of it.

“Isn’t that supposed to be mine?” Soonyoung asks, rolling his eyes when Jun wrinkles his nose and pushes the drink back across the table.

“You can keep it,” he says, shaking his head. “It just tastes like blue.”

“That’s not a flavor,” Wonwoo says, shaking his head and reaching out to take the drink instead. Seokmin laughs, leaning back in his seat and blinking in surprise when he realizes Soonyoung’s hand is still on his back. He shifts a little in place, half expecting Soonyoung to pull his hand away.

“How many people have asked you to dance, anyway?” He asks, looking over at Soonyoung with a grin. Soonyoung laughs, shrugging.

“I dunno, have you been counting?” He asks, grinning a little wider. Seokmin shakes his head, stealing a sip from Soonyoung’s obnoxious drink as well. He has to admit, it does taste like blue. Blue and a lot of alcohol. 

Seokmin has been counting and currently six different people have asked Soonyoung to dance and he hasn’t said yes to anyone yet. That’s mostly because he’s more focused on Wonwoo and Jun.

It doesn’t seem like Jun has picked up on any of Wonwoo’s efforts to flirt with him so far. Though Seokmin isn’t sure he’s picked up on any of them either because the two of them seem to be the same as always. They’re squished together in the same booth and when Jun laughs at the face Soonyoung makes when he tries the drink as well he buries his face in the crook of Wonwoo’s shoulder.

It’s funny for Seokmin to see Wonwoo make a face that he must make all the time. His lips tighten for a second like he’s trying to remember what the proper response is. But he softens just as quickly, dropping his shoulder like he’s trying to make more space for Jun. Before Jun sits up, Wonwoo glances up to see not only Seokmin but also Soonyoung staring at him.

He frowns, shrugging his shoulders in close to him and shooting a glare at Soonyoung. Jun doesn’t seem to notice any of it, draping his arm over Wonwoo’s shoulders. “Well if you’re not gonna dance with anyone else are you gonna dance with me?”

“Haven’t you had enough of dancing with me yet?” Soonyoung asks, laughing. Wonwoo glances at Jun, licking his lips quickly before nudging his elbow into Jun’s side.

“I’ll go,” he says. Jun’s eyebrows lift a little and Seokmin does his best not to laugh. He’s not sure he’s ever heard Wonwoo actually volunteer himself to dance with anyone under any circumstances. He seems to realize it’s odd too because his cheeks flush and he looks back down at the table. “Unless you’d rather dance with Soonie.”

“I am better than you,” Soonyoung says, grinning. Jun shakes his head, shoving at Wonwoo’s side.

“Let’s go,” he says, laughing as he pushes Wonwoo out of the booth, nudging him towards the mass of people dancing in the middle of the room.

That leaves Soonyoung and Seokmin sitting by themselves with a frighteningly blue drink sitting between them.

“He’s not very subtle about it, is he?” Soonyoung says, leaning his cheek on Seokmin’s shoulder with a laugh. “Good thing he’s supposed to do something about it tonight anyway. Junnie is gonna figure it out.”

“Do you think it’ll go okay?” Seokmin asks, his stomach twisting with a secondhand kind of anxiety. Soonyoung frowns a little, sitting up and looking over the dance floor like he might be able to pick the two of them out still.

“I’m sure it’ll be fine,” he says, his forehead furrowed in thought. He looks back at Seokmin, shaking his head. “He was worrying before about Junnie like, hating him over it or something.”

Seokmin bites the inside of his lip nervously. “He was?”

“Because they live together, I guess?” Soonyoung says, shaking his head. “I don’t get it.”

“Well if Jun-hyung doesn’t take it well it’d be no good, right?” Seokmin says, his hands twisting nervously in his lap. “They live together and everything.”

“Yeah but it’s Jun,” Soonyoung says, shaking his head. “It’s not like he’s gonna kick Wonwoo out on the streets.”

“Yeah,” Seokmin says, shaking his head. “But it changes things and he probably doesn’t want anything to change.”

He shouldn’t be putting so much energy into arguing this point with Soonyoung of all people. Since the wedding, he’s been getting closer and closer to a line that Seokmin knows he can’t risk crossing. But Soonyoung just smiles, shoving Seokmin’s shoulder and taking another sip of the drink in front of him with a laugh.

“It’s different already, isn’t it?” He says, leaning his elbows on the table. “It doesn’t matter if he tells Junnie or not, right?”

He doesn’t wait for Seokmin to give an answer to that, which is good because he definitely doesn’t have one. Instead, he wiggles his way out of the booth, eyes curving into little crescents as he looks down at Seokmin. “C’mon, let's get something decent to drink.”

Seokmin laughs, sliding out of the booth after him. “You don’t like the taste of blue?”

“I don’t wanna know what would come out of me if I drank that whole thing,” Soonyoung says, elbowing his way up to the bar with Seokmin right behind him.

Seokmin knows all too well how magnetic Soonyoung is— he’s never been able to pull himself free from it, after all. Soonyoung himself never seems to notice, even when it seems like several people turn to look at him as soon as he steps up to the bar, waving at the bartender with a wide smile on his face.

“I’m gonna make sure you don’t go home alone tonight,” Soonyoung says, turning to Seokmin after he orders drinks for the both of them. He has to lean close to Seokmin’s ear for his voice to carry and the implication makes Seokmin blush.

“You don’t have to worry about that,” he says, laughing a little awkwardly. “I thought you didn’t wanna be the extra man.”

“I owe you,” Soonyoung says, his body turned toward Seokmin. They’re closer together than usual— there isn’t enough space with all the other people around them to avoid it. The club lights flash different colors across Soonyoung’s pale face and Seokmin leans in toward him without thinking.

“For what?” Seokmin asks, taking the beer that Soonyoung passes into his hand, the glass cold and condensed against his warm palm. 

Soonyoung laughs, giving Seokmin’s shoulder a shove. “For serving time as my boyfriend.”

Seokmin shakes his head a little, craning his neck to look out over the dance floor rather than answering that. “How do you think Wonwoo-hyung is doing?”

“Well he sucks at dancing,” Soonyoung says, grinning as he looks as well. “I hope he made a move.”

“Oh,” Seokmin says, his voice soft as he catches sight of Jun, pressing Wonwoo’s back into one of the building’s cement walls. Wonwoo’s fingers are in the back of Jun’s hair and Seokmin is excited about it for a moment before his heart sinks in his chest. He tries not to let it show in his voice. “Well someone did.”

Soonyoung turns, staring at them for a moment before laughing loudly. “Finally! He’s been complaining about this for _weeks.”_

Seokmin nods dumbly, his head feeling detached from his neck. “Yeah. Finally.”

He tries to smile, taking a long drink from his beer. It’s stupid to be sad that Wonwoo has more courage than he does himself. He looks back at Seokmin, setting his drink down with a soft laugh. “I’ll be right back.”

Soonyoung nods, watching Seokmin slip himself through the crowd until he makes it to the small bathroom tucked at the back.

He’s glad it’s empty when he steps inside, leaving over the small sink to splash water on his face, doing his best to clear his head a little. He slides his phone out of his pocket after wiping his hands off. It’s a surprise to see that he has a text from Jaehyun.

**(Jaehyun):** _I’m here if you’re still around_

**(Jaehyun):** _it’d be nice to see you_

Seokmin stares at the message, his heart pounding unevenly in his chest. It’s not like he’s never been on a date, of course, but Jaehyun is far too handsome to be someone who’s actually interested in Seokmin. He almost fumbles his phone trying to type out a response.

**(Seokmin):** _I’m here!! Can I meet you by the bar?_

**(Jaehyun):** _okay_

**{* * *}**

Usually, Soonyoung wouldn’t be so bothered that he’s apparently been abandoned, but Seokmin isn’t usually someone who wanders off without saying anything. He looks at the drink Seokmin left behind with a little frown. He’s not sure if he should assume that Seokmin is going to come back or not.

In spite of his promise to find someone to go home with Seokmin, he’s bothered by the idea that someone might have taken Seokmin away from him already. He taps his fingers against the shiny surface of the bar, looking around to try and spot Seokmin.

Jun and Wonwoo are no longer kissing against the wall and Soonyoung wonders if he should send Wonwoo a message to congratulate him for finally stepping up to the plate. But before he makes up his mind on it, he finally sees Seokmin, sitting at the other end of the bar.

He isn’t by himself, which is something of a surprise to Soonyoung from the start. There’s a guy seated next to him that Soonyoung doesn’t recognize, one of his arms leaning on the top of the bar, his fingers brushing against Seokmin’s. He says something that makes Seokmin duck his head and laugh, his nose wrinkling like it does when he’s embarrassed.

Soonyoung scowls at the guy’s back, looking forward at the drink in front of him after a moment. He doesn’t want to get caught staring at whoever Seokmin is talking to for no reason. After all, he did say that he wanted to find someone for Seokmin to spend the night with, he shouldn’t be so put out that Seokmin managed it on his own.

With a little frown still on his face, Soonyoung finishes off his own drink and after a moment of thought, he pulls Seokmin’s drink to him as well. He’s not a fan of the kind of beer Seokmin drinks usually, and it tastes more sour than usual going down. Trying not to stare at Seokmin and the guy he’s talking to doesn’t make him feel any better, even after the beer is finished as well, so Soonyoung lets himself steal another glance at the two of them.

The guy is leaning toward Seokmin still, and Soonyoung can’t see clearly but he thinks that one of his hands might be on Seokmin’s leg.

Soonyoung stands, licking his lips, walking over to the two of them without really thinking about it. Seokmin sees him first, looking up at him with a small smile. The guy turns to look at Soonyoung as well and the fact that he’s actually… surprisingly good looking somehow only makes Soonyoung feel more annoyed about the situation.

“Hyung, this is my friend from work, Jaehyun-ah,” Seokmin says, pulling his hand back from Jaehyun’s a little, a flush on his face. Jaehyun smiles, dimples standing out on his soft cheeks. If he notices the irritation sizzling off of Soonyoung’s expression, he doesn’t show it. “This is Soonyoung-hyung.”

“I’m his boyfriend,” Soonyoung says, raising both of his eyebrows. He doesn’t look at Seokmin’s face because he isn’t sure what kind of look Seokmin might be giving him for that. But Jaehyun smiles after a moment of hesitation, glancing between the two of them like he’s unsure of the situation he’s in now.

“Oh,” he says, brushing his bangs away from his face. “I didn’t know that he was seeing anybody.”

Seokmin looks up at Soonyoung, his lower lip caught between his teeth, trying to hide his confusion. Soonyoung smiles, taking a step forward and putting his arm over Seokmin’s shoulders, leaning against him a little. It’s probably just due to the fact that the two of them have had plenty of practice at selling a relationship to people that Seokmin leans into his arm.

“I won’t take up any more of your time then,” Jaehyun says, standing up and nodding politely to the both of them. Soonyoung does his best not to smirk when he walks away. Seokmin leans away from Soonyoung’s grasp, blinking up at him in confusion.

“Hyung?” He asks, shaking his head when Soonyoung takes the stool that Jaehyun left empty. “What was that about?”

“It looked like he was bugging you,” Soonyoung says, though Jaehyun was bugging Soonyoung far more than he was bothering Seokmin. But he shrugs his shoulders, turning forward to order them another round of drinks. “So I figured I owed you one anyway.”

“He’s a friend of mine from work,” Seokmin says, rubbing the back of his neck a little, looking down at the beer Soonyoung hands him. “I mean… he works for an agent that works with us.”

“So he doesn’t really work in your office or anything?” Soonyoung asks, raising an eyebrow and taking a long sip of your drink. He feels lighter than usual, and rather than putting his hand on Seokmin’s shoulder again he lays it on Seokmin’s leg, patting his thigh and leaving his hand there.

“Not in my office, no,” Seokmin says, and there’s something in his voice that makes Soonyoung look over, his hand tightening on Seokmin’s thigh. Seokmin takes a long drink of his beer, looking down at the bar rather than at Soonyoung.

“He wasn’t bothering you, was he?” Soonyoung says, after a moment of quiet that’s far too long for the two of them. Seokmin doesn’t answer him right away and Soonyoung shakes his head. “I’m sorry, you can tell him I was just messing around.”

“It’s fine,” Seokmin says, but the smile on his face doesn’t feel quite real and Soonyoung frowns at himself. He doesn’t feel bad, or at least as not as bad as he should, for getting rid of Jaehyun, but making Seokmin unhappy has never been something he wants.

So, Soonyoung swallows his drink down and shakes his head, patting Seokmin’s leg before grabbing his wrist. “Dance with me.”

“You know I’m not a good dancer,” Seokmin says, laughing. Soonyoung pulls him out of his seat anyway, shaking his head.

“I’m good though,” Soonyoung says, smiling when Seokmin goes along with him. “So as long as you’re with me it’ll look good.”

“Or I’ll look even more awkward,” Seokmin says, but he doesn’t resist, even when Soonyoung twists his arm to the side to hold Seokmin’s hand rather than his arm.

He’s spent so much of his time recently over thinking his relationship with Seokmin without arriving at any real answers. He wants things to stay the way they’ve always been, of course, Seokmin is his best friend.

But lately he’s been feeling like there’s something more he wants… something more he could _have_ if he even knew what he was reaching for.

Seokmin stands a shy foot away from him at first and Soonyoung laughs, pulling him closer and putting his hands on Seokmin’s hips. “It’s a little different from a waltz.”

Over the pounding bass, Soonyoung thinks he can hear Seokmin breathe in sharply, but everything is too loud around him to be sure. Seokmin’s hands hover over his shoulders like he’s not sure where to put them and Soonyoung grins.

“Relax, Minnie,” Soonyoung says, lifting one of his hands to hook Seokmin’s hand on the back of his neck. The tips of Seokmin’s ears go pink as Soonyoung puts his hand back on his hip, giving it a little squeeze. 

He moves Seokmin’s hips along with his own, laughing a little when Seokmin ducks his head and looks down at his feet like he might have an easier time picking up on the rhythm that way. Soonyoung leans in, his mouth close to Seokmin’s ear to make it easier to Seokmin to hear him.

“Just follow me,” he says. When he breathes in he can feel the way Seokmin’s chest presses into his a little. It takes a little bit for Seokmin to relax, letting Soonyoung guide him, the slight sway of his hips getting more comfortable.

There’s a smile spreading on Seokmin’s face and it makes Soonyoung grin as well, rolling his hips against Seokmin’s. It isn't dark enough to hide the way Seokmin's eyes catch for a second staring at Soonyoung's mouth, his fingers going a little tight at the back of his neck. Maybe it's because he's just over the edge of having had too much to drink, but he doesn't feel odd for having caught Seokmin. There's a quiet sort of hunger that opens up in Soonyoung's stomach. It's a nagging, curious feeling. 

When he kissed Seokmin before it really wasn't much more than a quick, dry press of their mouths against one another and Seokmin had been too surprised to really react to it. Soonyoung can't help but wonder, not for the first time recently, what it would be like to kiss Seokmin for real. 

To kiss him and have him kiss back. 

The song playing winds to an end, merging with the start of the next but Soonyoung doesn't pull his hands back from Seokmin's hips. Seokmin licks his lips, looking down at Soonyoung with wide, curious eyes that definitely sparkle a little even without the help of all the lights flashing behind him. 

“Hyung?” He says, his thumb pressing softly into the nape of Soonyoung's neck. “Did you wanna keep dancing?”

Soonyoung shakes his head and as he leans forward it feels like the whole world tilts strange on its axis. He leans harder into Seokmin for support, fingers digging into his hips. He tilts his head to the side, and Soonyoung is pretty sure that it's not just in his imagination that Seokmin leans in the last inch before their lips touch. 

It doesn't feel like Soonyoung expected, kissing Seokmin. Though maybe he hasn't thought about it hard enough to have a real expectation. It's probably better, either way. There's a surprising amount of determination to the way Seokmin kisses him, his hand going from Soonyoung's neck to cradling the back of his head, fingers running through the short strands of his hair. Soonyoung opens his mouth to Seokmin's without thinking about it, winding his arms around Seokmin's waist to hold him there.

Seokmin doesn't try to escape. He takes the invitation, sliding his tongue into Soonyoung's mouth. Soonyoung feels warm all over, and it's not just from being surrounded by sweaty people dancing. He ignores the first person that bumps into him, eyes shut when Seokmin nips at his lower lip. But the next one almost makes their teeth clack painfully together and Soonyoung leans back just far enough to separate their lips, laughing softly. 

“Maybe we should find a better spot,” he says and Seokmin nods his head without really seeming to have heard. Soonyoung pecks a small kiss on his lips before pulling away gently. He wraps his hand around Seokmin's wrist, refusing to let go all the way. Part of him is worried that Seokmin might slip away from him, but he follows along when Soonyoung leaves the dance floor.

He’s never really been a fan of making out with people in public places, so he doesn’t think very hard before dragging Seokmin along into the bathroom with him, locking one of the stalls behind them. The harsh light of the bathroom makes it easy to see the plain shock on Seokmin’s face and Soonyoung bites his lip.

“Alright?” He asks, his voice hushed, leaving a gulf of space between them, one hand still on the lock. But Seokmin nods his head hard, stepping forward so Soonyoung’s back is pressed into the cold metal door. He tilts his face up toward Seokmin’s and Seokmin stops just shy of kissing him.

“Is it okay if I kiss you?” Seokmin says, his hands hovering at Soonyoung’s sides like he doesn’t dare try without permission. Soonyoung nods his head, gripping the front of Seokmin’s shirt. Seokmin breathes out something like a sigh of relief before he presses their lips together again. He doesn’t wait to pull Soonyoung closer to him, both arms wrapping around his sides, nipping once more at Soonyoung’s lip.

Soonyoung opens his mouth, unable to stop himself from making a small sound of surprise at the scrape of Seokmin’s teeth. The curiosity is gone, replaced by a burning heat in the pit of his stomach. It’s much easier like this, to know what he wants from Seokmin— with Seokmin. He unlatches one hand from Seokmin’s shirt, sliding it under the loose hem to feel the warm, tanned skin of his stomach.

He’s never felt like Seokmin was that much bigger than him— but pressed into the door with Seokmin’s arms caging him in, he seems much bigger than usual— broader, maybe. Soonyoung doesn’t expect to like it as much as he does. He’s always thought of Seokmin as anchor, a rock-solid presence in his life. He still feels that way now, like without Seokmin holding on so tightly he might just float away.

Soonyoung’s hand drifts over Seokmin’s chest, feeling the slight definition of his stomach, his thumb tracing along the arch of his hip. He’s seen Seokmin shirtless plenty of times, of course, but he’s never felt compelled to touch him before. It almost makes him dizzy, the mix of how familiar and strange kissing Seokmin is. He smells the same as always and Soonyoung knows the rhythm of his breathing. But he’s never considered before what it’d feel like to have Seokmin press into him like this, or how warm his skin is, or what his mouth would feel like. Seokmin pulls back just a little, looking down at Soonyoung with his eyes still wide, a flush on his face.

“Hyung,” he says, his voice shaking a little as Soonyoung’s fingers brush up his side. His hands have dropped to toy with the hem of Soonyoung’s tight shirt, rubbing the fabric nervously between his fingers. “Can I…?”

His mouth slides along Soonyoung’s jaw when he asks, his teeth scraping against the sensitive thud of his pulse. Soonyoung squirms, his hips pushing towards Seokmin’s, nodding his head. Seokmin mouths at the curve of Soonyoung’s throat, both of his broad hands sliding under his shirt.

Soonyoung bites down sharply on his lower lip to keep himself from making a sound loud enough to get the two of them caught, managing to trap one of Seokmin’s legs between his thighs. He grips tightly on Seokmin’s shoulder and he can feel the shiver that trembles down his spine when Soonyoung’s hard cock presses against his thigh.

As much as he wants to at the moment, Soonyoung is too old to be dry humping anyone in a club bathroom. He leans his head back against the door, pushing gently on Seokmin’s shoulders. Seokmin leans back easily, dropping his hands abruptly. “Sorry.”

“I think we should probably leave the bathroom,” Soonyoung says, laughing and shaking his head gently. He leans forward, pressing a soft kiss to the corner of Seokmin’s mouth.

He hesitates for a beat, peeking up at Seokmin’s flushed face. He’s trying to judge if he should ask the question that’s on the tip of his tongue.

It’s one thing, of course, to make out with Seokmin in the bathroom, but asking Seokmin to come home with him is playing a whole different game. Seokmin’s hand brushes against his hip, and standing so close, Soonyoung can see the way his throat bobs when he swallows hard.

“Okay,” Seokmin says and ducks his head a little. Soonyoung bites the inside of his cheek, pressing his hips forward into Seokmin’s, rubbing their clothed crotches together a little.

“Come home with me,” he says, leaning back against the door and biting his lip. Seokmin lifts his head, his whole expression wide with surprise. Soonyoung hooks one hand around the back of Seokmin’s neck, thumb stroking the little curl of hair at the base of his head where it’s started to grow.

Seokmin looks like he doesn’t really know how to respond to that, his lips parted slightly, leaning toward Soonyoung like he’s being drawn in. “Really?”

Soonyoung does laugh at that, nodding once again, his fingers still playing with Seokmin’s hair. “Yes, really.”

Seokmin leans in, kissing Soonyoung with more fervor than expected, hands at his hips pulling them close together once again. Soonyoung makes a surprised sound into Seokmin’s mouth, fingers going tight at the back of Seokmin’s head.

“Lemme call a cab,” Soonyoung says as soon as he gets a chance to breathe, cupping Seokmin’s face in one of his palms. Seokmin grins and it makes Soonyoung’s chest feel light and bubbly all over again.

**{* * *}**

The cab ride back to Soonyoung’s apartment is the longest one of Seokmin’s life. He’s trying as hard as he can not to think at all, otherwise he might start questioning exactly what the hell he’s doing.

But they manage to make it back before Seokmin’s head clears. Soonyoung pulls him out of the cab, nearly dragging him across the empty lobby of his building and jabbing at the button for the elevator. It almost makes Seokmin laugh, letting Soonyoung pull him into the elevator as well. Soonyoung’s fingers wander up the stretch of Seokmin’s arm, tracing impatiently over his skin. Seokmin catches his hand, biting down on a grin when it pulls Soonyoung half a step closer to him. It feels like heat is radiating off of his body and seeping into Seokmin’s skin, and he reaches out his other hand to take hold of Soonyoung— his shoulder or one of his hips— and pull him in all the way.

The elevator door opens before he gets a chance and he follows Soonyoung through the metal doors, pressing close to his back when he fumbles his key in the lock of his door. Feeling bolder than usual, Seokmin presses a kiss to the top of Soonyoung’s shoulder where the skin is revealed by the drooping neck of his shirt. Soonyoung hums unevenly, lowering his shoulder and causing the shirt to slide down just a little further. Seokmin follows it, his arms wrapping around Soonyoung’s sides as he does.

“Shit,” Soonyoung mumbles, his keys hitting the floor and Seokmin laughs, hooking his chin over Soonyoung’s shoulder and looking down at them.

“Are you drunk, Soonyoung-hyung?” He asks, giggling as he says it. He’s pretty sure they’re both over the line of sobriety and Soonyoung laughs before elbowing Seokmin away so he can grab the keys and actually let the two of them into his apartment.

“I’ve been soberer,” he says, his eyes curving up as he grins. Seokmin hardly has the chance to kick his shoes off properly before Soonyoung is hauling him off again, this time holding the front of his shirt. He doesn’t mind it, following easily as Soonyoung nudges him onto the bed, rolling his eyes when Seokmin crashes dramatically onto his mattress. “Don’t break my bed.”

Seokmin laughs, pushing himself up halfway before Soonyoung climbs into his lap, his knees denting the dense mattress. Seokmin’s breath catches in the back of his throat, looking up at Soonyoung. Everything suddenly feels too sharp, too real, like now that they’re actually in Soonyoung’s bed together it’s too much to take back.

But Seokmin doesn’t want to take anything back. When he reaches one hand out to touch Soonyoung’s thigh, his fingers shake. Soonyoung must not notice, his hands on Seokmin’s shoulders, pulling him in to kiss him again. Seokmin’s squeezes Soonyoung’s thigh, mouth open and hungry against his, sliding his other hand under the hem of Soonyoung’s loose shirt. Soonyoung leans into his hands, his tongue still hot and demanding in Seokmin’s mouth.

For as long as he’s known he’s loved Soonyoung, Seokmin has never really allowed himself to think about things like this. But Soonyoung shifts himself in Seokmin’s lap and groans softly into his mouth when their crotches rub together, his eyes closing at the slight friction of it. Seokmin sighs out a shaking breath in return, still holding tightly to the back of Soonyoung’s thigh. Soonyoung peels one hand away from his shoulder, grabbing Seokmin’s hand and sliding it up to squeeze his ass instead. He’s tentative about it at first— touching Soonyoung still feels like something he’s not supposed to do, especially like this. 

“Minnie,” Soonyoung says, his voice getting caught around a little whining sound when Seokmin’s fingers dig into his flesh a little. Seokmin presses his forehead against the center of Soonyoung’s chest, muffling a groan when he pushes his hips down all the way, rolling them slightly. It’s hard to get any real friction; mostly Seokmin is just in danger of rubbing himself raw against the inside of his zipper and the too-tight denim of Soonyoung’s jeans, but he pushes his hips up regardless. Soonyoung grabs at the back of Seokmin’s shirt, pulling it up his back until he manages to get the hem in his hands.

“Take this off,” he says, a little bit of a pout in his voice. Seokmin smiles, lifting his head away from Soonyoung’s chest and pulling his shirt the rest of the way over his head, dropping it off the side of Soonyoung’s slim bed. Soonyoung seems pleased with having him shirtless, more than Seokmin would’ve expected, running his fingers over Seokmin’s shoulders, to the middle of his chest. His hips twitch a little, restless when Soonyoung drags his fingers over his nipples and he catches the curve of a smile on Soonyoung’s face.

Seokmin swallows hard, pushing Soonyoung’s shirt up around his chest in return so he doesn’t get worked up over nothing more than Soonyoung feeling his chest up. It’s hard not to. Soonyoung is beautiful with his lower lip caught between his teeth and his eyes bright with a kind of hunger that Seokmin is sure no one has ever wasted on him before. Seokmin bites the inside of his cheek to keep from telling him so. Seokmin leans forward, using his hand on Soonyoung’s ass to hold him steady, kissing as low on Soonyoung’s stomach as he can reach without breaking his neck.

He pushes Soonyoung’s shirt up slowly, moving his mouth over every revealed inch of skin, listening to Soonyoung’s breathing above him grow heavy and strained. Soonyoung’s head ducks forward, letting Seokmin pull his shirt all the way off, but Seokmin isn’t quite finished mapping out his skin. He presses his lips to Soonyoung’s chest, just above the rabbit-quick beat of his heart, closing his eyes for a moment. He wants to let everything spill out— explain exactly how much he cares about Soonyoung, how long he’s loved him.

But he doesn’t want to ruin whatever tiny, delicate thing they have now with his hapless honesty and so he swallows his feelings the way he has a thousand times before. Soonyoung’s hips roll against his in a way that Seokmin thinks might be genuinely illegal and he mumbles a small curse into Soonyoung’s skin. “Fucking dancers.”

Soonyoung laughs at that, carding his fingers through Seokmin’s hair once. Seokmin drops his hands, fingers still shaking with nerves that he can’t seem to rid himself of, thumbing open the button of Soonyoung’s tight jeans. Soonyoung’s lips part slightly, drawing in a sharp breath.

Seokmin keeps his head ducked a little forward, one hand holding onto Soonyoung’s hip while he shoves the other down the front of Soonyoung’s jeans. He tightens his grip when Soonyoung whines, arching his hips forward into the contact of Seokmin’s palm through his boxers. His hands drop from Seokmin’s hair to drape over his shoulders, the pads of his fingers digging a little into Seokmin’s bare back.

There isn’t enough space offered by Soonyoung’s jeans to do much more than roll his thumb over the head of Soonyoung’s cock and it makes Soonyoung whine a little, wiggling his hips like he might be able to get his jeans off that way. Seokmin muffles a laugh the best he can, nipping the edge of Soonyoung’s jaw and pulling his hand away to hook his thumbs in the loops of his jeans, pulling them down around his thighs. He cups his hand around Soonyoung’s dick again, this time wrapping his fingers around the shaft through the thin fabric and stroking him slowly.

Soonyoung’s breath catches for a moment before it comes out in a groan, his head ducking to rest against Seokmin’s shoulder. His hips push forward, following the unconscious rhythm of Seokmin’s hand. His fingers tighten against Seokmin’s back, shaking his head a little.

“Minnie,” he says, his voice drawn out into a long whine. Seokmin smiles, hooking his thumbs in the elastic waist of Soonyoung’s boxers, mouthing over the side of his neck. He pulls Soonyoung’s underwear down until it meets the bunched up waist of his jeans. Soonyoung pitches his weight a little forward, making Seokmin huff and put out a hand to support the both of them, grinning when Soonyoung kicks his clothing off his legs and over the edge of the bed. He massages his fingers into the muscle of Soonyoung’s thigh, turning his head to kiss him once more. Soonyoung kisses back, brief and hungry, more teeth and hot rushes of his breath than anything else.

“You’re gonna kill me,” Soonyoung says, shaking his head and leaning away from Seokmin to dig under the pillow at the top of his bed. Seokmin wants to say something, even just to mumble out that Soonyoung is beautiful, or good at kissing, or that he feels perfect in Seokmin’s arms. But when the bottle of lube he pulls out is pressed into Seokmin’s palm his mouth goes dry and everything intelligent rushes out of his head.

He doesn’t spend time dwelling on what it would be like to have sex with Soonyoung— thinking about it too hard always makes him feel itchy and guilty— but even considering it briefly he’d always assumed that things would be the other way around. He’s staring dumbly at the lube like he has no idea what he’s supposed to do with it. Soonyoung leans back enough to be able to look Seokmin in the face, closing his hand gently over Seokmin’s, his lower lip caught between his teeth.

“Sorry, if you don’t want to—”

“No,” Seokmin says, squeezing his hand shut tightly and shaking his head too hard. Soonyoung smiles a little and Seokmin can feel his ears flush with what little blood is left in his body for the purpose. “No, I just, um…”

He trails off, not sure how he can say _‘I always thought you’d be fucking me’_ without admitting that he’s thought about it at all. But Soonyoung smiles at him, pressing his fingers against Seokmin’s chest, eyes darting shyly off to the side. “I kinda wanna ride you. If that’s okay.”

Soonyoung’s voice is soft, small, and Seokmin is tempted to pinch himself just to make absolutely sure that this is a real thing happening in his life and not the worlds cruelest wet dream. Soonyoung looks at him through his lashes and this time it seems like he understands Seokmin’s answering silence for what it is. He grabs Seokmin’s wrist gently, pulling it around his side to rest his hand once again against the bare skin of his ass, leaning forward to press a kiss to the pink tip of his ear.

He doesn’t say anything, but Seokmin is okay with that because he thinks if Soonyoung says anything more with his voice low like it is now he might have a heart attack and die before he can even _try_ satisfying Soonyoung. He licks his lips, sliding his other arm around Soonyoung’s waist and flicking open the plastic cap of the bottle. His hands are definitely shaking now, but tucked behind Soonyoung’s back at least he can’t see the evidence of how nervous Seokmin is.

It’s hardly his first time, but Seokmin is pretty sure he wasn’t even this scared of doing something wrong then. Soonyoung continues pressing tiny kisses to the side of Seokmin’s face; to the shell of his ear, his temple, the corner of his mouth, the light fluttering pressure serving as a slight distraction as Seokmin coats his fingers in the slick gel and does his best to warm it between them. He drops the lube to the bed, biting hard on his lip as he slides his fingers over the tight muscle of his hole. He massages two of them there slowly, not yet trying to press in, and Soonyoung whines against his cheek at the teasing.

Seokmin is glad he still has his pants on because he’s not sure he’d be able to make it to the main event otherwise. It’s overwhelming on its own, having Soonyoung naked in his lap, kissing him, listening to how surprisingly vocal he is. Seokmin slides one of his fingers in before Soonyoung can complain further about him teasing and Soonyoung’s blunt nails dig shallow crescents into his back. Soonyoung is hot and tight, though his muscles yield when Seokmin’s finger slides in all the way. He has to bury a soft groan into Soonyoung’s shoulder, holding tighter onto his thigh.

He takes his time, sliding his finger in and out at a slow pace until Soonyoung is arching his hips back into his hand. Soonyoung makes a soft sound every time Seokmin’s finger slides in all the way, lips parted like he can’t help himself, leaning his chest into Seokmin’s so Seokmin can share in supporting his weight. Seokmin slides another finger in, scraping his teeth over Soonyoung’s shoulder to distract him from the stretch. He wants to take the low, faltering moan that slides out of his mouth and tuck it away in his memories forever.

“Hyung,” he mumbles, shaking his head as he presses both of his fingers in all the way, watching Soonyoung’s back curve into a perfect arch. There’s no real thought attached to his words— or rather, there’s too much. Seokmin can’t seem to stop thinking.

Soonyoung lets out a choked laugh at that, shaking his head with a grin on his face. “I don’t think you have to be polite with your fingers up my ass, Minnie.”

Despite himself, Seokmin grins at that, curling his fingers a little and leaning up to catch Soonyoung’s smiling mouth in a kiss. Soonyoung sighs, leaning back into Seokmin’s hand again, trying to still take his fingers deeper. “What do you want me to say?”

“My name,” Soonyoung says, less laughter and more air in his voice. Seokmin scissors his fingers gently apart, and Soonyoung’s voice gets tangled with another moan. “Minnie— Seokmin, please.”

Seokmin isn’t sure if the plea is for him to call his name or to quit drawing things out. But Seokmin wants to savor every moment he can of this and it’s hardly like Soonyoung’s name is unfamiliar in his mouth.

“Soonyoung,” he says, his voice coming out more strained than he expects. He twists his wrist a little, curling his fingers again. Soonyoung’s back arches sharply, his voice cracking as Seokmin’s fingers brush over his prostate. He shudders in Seokmin’s arms, his hips jerking like he isn’t sure if he wants to press harder into Seokmin’s fingers or pull away. 

He squirms against Seokmin, panting when his fingers finally relax, leaning his forehead against Seokmin’s shoulders. He slides a third finger in carefully, pulling his hand off of Soonyoung’s hip and sliding it between their bodies to wrap his hand around Soonyoung’s cock, stroking it slowly. He swipes his thumb over the leaking tip of his cock, the slick precome making the slide of his hand easier.

Soonyoung jerks his hips, shaking his head with a sharp little whine. “Fuck, Seokmin. I can’t—”

Seokmin shushes him as best can, kissing the corner of his mouth, sliding his fingers out slowly, fingers still wrapped around his dick.

“Um, condom?” Seokmin asks, tilting his head back to look up at Soonyoung. Soonyoung seems to consider that for a moment before groaning in frustration. He slides himself out of Seokmin’s lap, digging in the drawer of his nightstand for one. Seokmin kisses the back of his shoulder, taking the moment to shove his pants and underwear to the floor as well. He’s a little glad that Soonyoung is focused elsewhere, so he doesn’t see the embarrassingly large damp spot left from Seokmin’s cock leaking eagerly the whole time.

“Ha!” Soonyoung says, holding up the bright plastic package of one with a victorious grin. He turns back to Seokmin, nudging him so he’s laying back on the nest of pillows that Soonyoung sleeps on, grabbing the bottle of lube from where it was dropped, forgotten, on the bed.

He climbs into Seokmin’s lap once again, ripping open the packaging with his teeth. He wraps one hand around Seokmin’s cock and Seokmin’s hips jerk up into it. He didn’t notice before, too focused on Soonyoung, just how hard he is. The first touch of Soonyoung’s hand makes him tense, almost knocking his head against the wall behind Soonyoung’s bed. The sound Soonyoung makes in response is sympathetic, rolling the condom over the flushed head of his cock.

Seokmin digs his fingers into the soft sheets of Soonyoung’s bed when his hand, slick with extra lube, strokes over his cock. Seokmin’s back arches, biting down on the swell of Soonyoung’s shoulder, trying to muffle the loud groan he lets out at even that little contact. 

Soonyoung takes a moment to position himself, his hips lined up over Seokmin’s lap, smiling a little when Seokmin’s hands slide up his back, fingers soft and reverent as they map out his skin.

Soonyoung’s hand wraps around his cock again, this time to guide the blunt head of it against his hole as he sinks his weight down. Seokmin’s arms go tight around his sides, the pads of his fingers digging into Soonyoung’s back as he’s slowly engulfed in the slick, tight heat. Soonyoung hisses at the stretch, the muscles of his jaw clenched into tight knots.

Seokmin’s head leans back against the wall, eyes shut tight, doing his best not to pull Soonyoung down into his lap or push his hips up to bury himself fully in him. On his own, Seokmin would never have dared to imagine himself sliding into Soonyoung like this and by the time Soonyoung settles in his lap with a pleased grunt of sound, Seokmin is holding so tightly onto his self-control that he’s a little lightheaded. Soonyoung rolls his hips experimentally once he’s seated with Seokmin fully inside of him and Seokmin struggles to open his eyes. Soonyoung has his head tipped back slightly, exposing the full elegant line of his neck, lips parted.

He’s breathing heavy and quick and Seokmin rubs his hands up and down Soonyoung’s back, doing his best to soothe. Soonyoung licks his lips, a little smile at the corners of his mouth as he opens his eyes. “Fuck, that’s a lot.”

Seokmin is caught between wanting to laugh and wanting to preen a little proudly at that comment. He doesn’t do either because Soonyoung is rocking his hips back in forth in tiny, slow movements and Seokmin is worried if he does anything at all he might faint. Soonyoung’s arms wrap around his neck, pulling himself in close enough for Seokmin to kiss him, fitting his hands on either side of Soonyoung’s slim waist.

It’s a struggle to hold onto his patience, not to snap his hips up into the suffocating heat of Soonyoung’s body and he pushes his face into the crook of Soonyoung’s neck, mouthing over the sweat-slick skin there. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Soonyoung says, nodding his head slowly. He braces his weight on Seokmin’s shoulder, lifting his hips up a little before dropping back into Seokmin’s lap. His first few movements are tentative, slow like he’s still adjusting to the stretch of having Seokmin inside him. He groans, picking up a careful rhythm of bouncing his hips up and down. Seokmin drops his hands to wrap around the back of Soonyoung’s thighs, helping support as much of his weight as he can. Soonyoung lifts his hips until just the head of Seokmin’s cock is still inside him his back arching sharply as he slides down once more, their skin colliding together.

Seokmin groans, his hips snapping up a little in surprise, pushing himself impossibly deeper into Soonyoung. He keeps his grip firm on Soonyoung’s thighs, kissing the corner of his mouth as he rolls his hips up with Soonyoung’s loose rhythm. Soonyoung turns into the kiss, meeting Seokmin’s mouth with his own. It’s not a very focused kiss, mostly Soonyoung’s mouth is warm and slack against Seokmin’s as he pants sharply for air.

Soonyoung digs his fingers harder into Seokmin’s shoulders, using the leverage to speed up his pace, his thighs shaking under Seokmin’s hands. Seokmin holds tighter onto him, leaning his head back so he can look at Soonyoung. His bangs are plastered to his forehead, lower lip red and swollen from biting into it and there’s a flush high on his cheeks and Seokmin isn’t sure if that’s from the alcohol or the exertion.

He wants to engrave every part of this into his memory as well as he can— to tuck it in his chest next to his heart. He pulls Soonyoung’s hips a little forward, leaning forward to drag his teeth down the sensitive side of his neck. Soonyoung whines, his voice trembling a little against Seokmin’s ear. Seokmin detaches one hand from Soonyoung’s thigh, working it between the two of them to wrap once again around Soonyoung’s slick cock.

Jerking forward into his hand, Soonyoung bites down on another loud sound. Seokmin clenches his jaw as Soonyoung’s body clenches around him, tension zipping up the line of his spine. He’s pretty sure, as much as he doesn’t want to think about it at the moment, that this is the only chance he’ll have with Soonyoung and he doesn’t want to ruin it by blowing his load early and leaving Soonyoung unsatisfied. It takes a few slower, careful thrusts into Soonyoung until he jerks, his head falling back between his shoulders, his hand dropping to wrap tightly around Seokmin’s wrist.

Seokmin does his best to match the rhythm of his hand stroking Soonyoung’s cock to the rhythm of his hips, grinding the blunt head of his cock into the swollen bump of Soonyoung’s prostate. Soonyoung’s voice goes high and strained, pushing his hips down into each thrust with more energy than Seokmin really expects.

“Minnie… Minnie… Seokmin,” Soonyoung says, every repeat of Seokmin’s name accompanied by a groan. They’re pressed so close that Seokmin wonders if Soonyoung can feel his heart crack a little. Soonyoung pushes their lips together in another messy imitation of a kiss, his arm draped over Seokmin’s back to cling the two of them close as he comes. Soonyoung’s voice cracks, his loud moan falling off into a much softer whine as he makes a mess of Seokmin’s hand, come ending up smeared between their stomachs as he keeps rolling his hips.

Soonyoung’s rhythm has gone sloppy and uneven but Seokmin hardly minds it, mouthing at the swell of his shoulder, biting down hard enough that there will be a bruise in the perfect shape of his teeth by morning. He doesn’t last much longer before he comes as well, not with Soonyoung’s hole fluttering around his cock and Soonyoung’s fingers stroking through his sweaty hair, his breath fast and sharp still.

He falls back against Soonyoung’s mound of pillows, his chest heaving so hard that he wonders if he’s in danger of breaking his ribs. Soonyoung falls forward with him, pressing small kisses to Seokmin’s sweaty collarbone. He laughs, warm and pleased, the sound of it making Seokmin’s skin buzz, smiling down at the top of Soonyoung’s head in return.

“That was fun,” Soonyoung says after he’s caught his breath. He lifts his hips off of Seokmin’s softening cock carefully, sighing as he rolls to the side, taking up whatever space is left on the bed. His back arches, stretching his whole body, arms reaching over his head and toes curling. Seokmin tries not to stare, fumbling a knot in the condom and throwing it away next to Soonyoung’s bed with his face burning. He isn’t sure exactly what he expected Soonyoung to say but that wasn’t quite it.

But, he looks up at Seokmin with his eyes curved in a smile, making grabby hands when Seokmin starts to sit up. “You’re supposed to cuddle with me, stud.”

“But you’re all sweaty,” Seokmin says, his heart hardly in the complaint. He wraps his arms around Soonyoung, thinking of pressing a kiss to the damp crown of his head but ultimately deciding against it. Soonyoung hums, his voice a little rough, laying his head against Seokmin’s chest.

“Well we can be gross together,” he says, his eyes lightly shut. He grabs blindly off the edge of the bed until he finds the shirt he was wearing before, using it to wipe his stomach off before handing it to Seokmin to let him do the same. Seokmin feels a little dazed and out of place; it’s not as if he’s the type to take off immediately after sex, of course. He knows _how_ to cuddle.

But like so many other things in his life, everything is different when it comes to Soonyoung. There are too many lines that he’s scared to cross still, and he settles for stroking the pads of his fingers along Soonyoung’s back, feeling the curve of his spine.

“Mm, you don’t need to get home, right?” Soonyoung asks, his voice already soft and slow with impending sleep. He cracks one eye open to see Seokmin shake his head, smiling. “Good. You’re comfy… just stay here tonight.”

It’s not an offer that Seokmin is exactly prepared to say no to. Seokmin shifts enough to be laying down comfortably as well, pulling the sheet over the both of them. Soonyoung smiles, pressing one small kiss to his chest and tangling their legs together.

Tired as he is, it takes Seokmin a long, long time to fall asleep.


	6. all alone

Soonyoung wakes up with a fuzzy feeling in his mouth, sore hips, and someone breathing softly against the back of his neck. He opens his eyes, groaning at the light in the room, squishing his face into his hands. There’s a sticky feeling all over his skin and Soonyoung is trying to piece together all the separate things going on without his head splitting apart.

Except Soonyoung recognizes that the arm he’s laying on, the hand curled on the pillow next to his head, undeniably belongs to Seokmin. He doesn’t have to turn to be certain, though he does twist to look over his shoulder, looking up at Seokmin’s relaxed, sleeping face. Everything comes together quickly after that— there are few reasons for him to be waking up hungover and sore with a naked Seokmin in his bed.

Soonyoung squeezes his eyes shut once again, trying to tell himself he definitely didn’t see the dark bloom of a bruise on his neck. It doesn’t matter, now that he’s awake and aware of what’s going on, he has very clear, definite memories of what happened with the two of them the night before.

Seokmin shifts for the first time, the arm he has wrapped around Soonyoung’s stomach tightening, his fingers twitching against the pillow and on instinct, Soonyoung freezes.

It isn’t the worst person he’s ever found in his bed in the morning, not really, but there are some lines in a friendship that shouldn’t be crossed. Soonyoung doesn’t regret what happened, at least not as much as he should. Lately, his feelings for Seokmin haven’t been as clear-cut as they used to be— as clear-cut as they’re _supposed_ to be.

He’s caught himself thinking about Seokmin in a different light lately, ever since the wedding. The memory of his sister suggesting that the two of them are good together, that they have some kind of chemistry that Soonyoung never realized before has stuck with him too hard, echoing in the back of his head in spite of Soonyoung’s best efforts to ignore it.

Soonyoung is trying to swallow down the strange, unsettled feeling in his stomach when Seokmin groans behind him. He pulls his arm away from his face to cover his eyes with one hand, his nose wrinkling a little.

“Why don’t you own curtains?” He says, shaking his head and Soonyoung almost laughs.

“I like the light,” he says, sitting up to give Seokmin his other arm back. Seokmin parts his fingers, peeking up at Soonyoung, his arm still stretched out on the bed. “How’s your head?”

“Less than fantastic,” Seokmin says, his brow furrowed a little bit. Soonyoung has the inexplicable urge to lean over and kiss the little wrinkle that forms between his eyebrows. He looks down at his lap instead, letting out a small laugh. Seokmin pokes at his side, yawning widely. “What time is it?”

Soonyoung leans over, digging his phone out of the pocket of his discarded jeans. “Like, ten thirty.”

“Oh shit,” Seokmin says, rubbing the bridge of his nose as he sits up. “I’m supposed to meet Jeonghan-hyung for lunch.”

It doesn’t escape Soonyoung’s notice— the way Seokmin shifts so there’s as much space as Soonyoung’s bed allows between them. He doesn’t reach across it and neither does Soonyoung.

“You can shower here if you want,” Soonyoung says, looking over his shoulder with a brief smile. It feels like there’s a wall between the two of them where there never was one before.

Seokmin slides off the other side of the bed after a moment of thinking, fumbling through the pile of clothes on Soonyoung’s floor to find his own. Soonyoung pulls one of his legs up to his chest, realizing that the both of them are very much still naked.

He wishes he knew what to say, how to ask Seokmin if they could… talk this through somehow. Last night, he wasn’t sure what he wanted from Seokmin, but now, looking at him in the morning light, it’s much more clear to Soonyoung than it was before.

What he wants is for Seokmin to stay with him. He wants all the things they’ve been playing at— pretending to be— to be something real.

“Nah,” Seokmin says, not looking back at him, pulling his clothes on quickly. “I have enough time, I think. Besides, Jeonghan-hyung is late to everything anyway.”

“Alright,” Soonyoung says, his voice softer than he means it to be. That makes Seokmin turn around, still in the process of buttoning his jeans again. He looks down at Soonyoung with his lip trapped in his teeth. His expression is surprisingly open, and there’s a look in his eyes that Soonyoung doesn’t know how to interpret.

“Everything okay, hyung?” Seokmin asks, leaning his head slightly to the side. Soonyoung picks his head up at that and the fact that he gets stuck for a moment staring is the peak of embarrassing. He’s not entirely prepared for the sight of Seokmin looking down at him with messy hair and no shirt, his thumb tucked into the waist of his pants. Soonyoung swallows, harder than he means to, standing up to get dressed.

Not that he has any lunch plans or anything, but it feels weird to be sitting there and staring at Seokmin while he’s naked. “Yeah. Fine, I just… need some coffee or something.”

“Head hurt?” Seokmin asks, his voice a little playful and Soonyoung nods, though the headache is a dim background to the guilty feeling that’s making his stomach roil.

“Something like that,” he says, the tease of a smile on his face. Seokmin nods, ducking his head and pulling his shirt on.

He wants to say something— to ask Seokmin to stay and talk to him, or just to stay and lay in bed and kiss him. The strength of how badly he wants just that much takes him by surprise and he hesitates, not sure what to say.

Seokmin hesitates as well, tilting his eyes down to look at his phone before tucking it back into his pocket. “Um.”

Soonyoung can barely remember a time when he didn’t have something to say to Seokmin. But right now he’s got nothing on his mind. One of the hickeys left on Seokmin’s neck… one of the hickeys _he_ left on Seokmin’s neck, is high enough to stand out over the neckline of his shirt and Soonyoung opens his mouth to tell him but Seokmin gives him an awkward, closed mouth smile.

It’s so totally fake that Soonyoung forgets to say anything at all, digging a clean shirt out of his drawers even though he needs to shower before he actually gets dressed.

“I’ll text you later,” Soonyoung says, rubbing the back of his neck. Seokmin’s smile doesn’t stretch, doesn’t grow into something real, he just nods his head.

“Yeah,” he says, tugging at the neck of his shirt before letting himself out quietly. Soonyoung sighs, pushing his fingers back through his hair and dropping the shirt he was going to put on back into his drawer and slamming it shut harder than he needs to.

“Fuck,” he says, to no one really but himself. He should shower, at least, to get the sweat-sticky feeling off of his skin since he knows he won’t be able to rid himself of the rest of this terrible feeling.

**{* * *}**

Seokmin definitely should be paying more attention to whatever it is Jeonghan is saying to him. He’s been having a tough time following any of the conversation and he isn’t going to make it very long before Jeonghan notices how distracted he is.

He tries adjusting his glasses for the tenth time, rubbing one of his eyes a little. Wearing them always ends up making his head hurt, but since he didn’t take out his contacts after having sex with Soonyoung, his eyes were too dry and itchy to keep them in any way. It’s startling, catching himself thinking about the night before in such casual terms. So much so that Seokmin actually jolts a little in his seat, heat flooding into his face.

He slept with Soonyoung last night.

“Don’t you think that’s a good idea, Minnie?” Jeonghan asks, leaning his chin on his hand, his voice honey sweet as he asks. Seokmin looks up at him, eyes blinking wide as he desperately tries to figure out what he might be agreeing to. Slowly, not wanting to admit that he was distracted, Seokmin nods his head. Jeonghan’s smile grows, his eyes curving. “Great! I’ll tell my neighbor you’d love to take her daughter on a date!”

“W- what?” Seokmin sputters, shaking his head. Jeonghan’s smile drops, though he doesn’t shift from leaning relaxed on his hand, shaking his head lightly.

“You weren’t listening to me at all, were you?” He says, sighing dramatically. “I can’t believe my favorite dongsaeng can’t even be bothered to listen when I talk.”

“We all know Channie is your favorite,” Seokmin says, rolling his eyes. Jeonghan’s mouth opens in a perfect offended ‘o’ and Seokmin smiles a little more apologetically. “Sorry, Jeonghannie-hyung, I’m a little out of it today.”

“You’re not getting sick, are you?” Jeonghan says, leaning over like he wants to check Seokmin’s temperature. Seokmin shakes his head, though he sort of wants to bask in Jeonghan’s brand of doting affection more than usual.

“No, I just…” he frowns, looking down at his hands, not sure how to explain how he’s feeling. “I had a weird night.”

“Really?” Jeonghan asks his brow furrowing slightly. “What happened?”

Seokmin opens his mouth to answer, but he’s stopped by the soft call of “Seokmin-ah!” that comes from behind him. He turns, looking up in surprise at one very out of breath Jung Jaehyun. He stops next to their table, a smile on his face.

He’s wearing exercise clothes, and judging from the headphones hanging loosely around his neck and the streaks of sweat on his face, he must be out for a run. Seokmin blinks at him, smiling, doing his best not to glance nervously at Jeonghan. “Jaehyun-ah, it’s um, nice to see you.”

“Sorry,” he says, after taking the moment to catch his breath. He smiles, and if Seokmin was hoping he’d be any less stunning now than he was before, the little catch of his heart in his chest makes it clear that he was definitely wrong. “About last night, I mean. I really didn’t realize you were seeing someone… I didn’t want to make things strange.”

“Oh,” Seokmin says. His face is bright red and he can feel the heavy weight of Jeonghan staring at the side of his face. “It’s really fine! Soonyoung-hyung really isn’t…”

He really isn’t Seokmin’s boyfriend, but it seems strange to admit that. He doesn’t have to shoot a pleading glance at Jeonghan for him to realize that his help is needed in the matter. He sits up, clearing his throat and smiling up at Jaehyun.

“You’re Seokminnie’s friend from work, aren’t you?” Jeonghan asks, fluttering his lashes nicely when Jaehyun turns to look at him. Seokmin has to wonder if he didn’t notice Jeonghan sitting there at all because his face flushes a tad and he ducks his head politely. Jeonghan does tend to have that effect on people; Seokmin remembers being a stuttering mess the first time they were introduced. 

“Yeah. I’m sorry for interrupting your meal,” he says, one hand on the back of his neck. He looks back at Seokmin, his smile softer. “I didn’t want to cause a misunderstanding. I guess I’ll um, see you at work.”

“Thanks,” Seokmin says, waving when Jaehyun ducks his head again before putting his headphones in and resuming his run. He’s a little glad since he has no idea what to say to Jaehyun about what happened, but now he’s left alone with Jeonghan and a lot of questions that are going to need answering if he’s going to ever be allowed to leave this cafe again.

“So, he didn’t realize Soonyoung was your boyfriend,” Jeonghan says, each word carefully measured, his voice cheerful. Seokmin withers in his seat, covering his face with his hands. “That’s a shame since Jaehyun's such a handsome friend of yours.”

Seokmin isn’t sure how to even begin formulating an answer to that. He licks his lips and Jeonghan gives him another calm stare, tucking his bangs out of his face with a slight smile. “Wouldn’t have anything to do with that hickey on your neck, would it?”

He stares blankly back at Jeonghan until Jeonghan rolls his eyes, leaning across the small table to prod at a bruise that Seokmin hadn’t even noticed after taking stock of himself in the morning after his shower. He yelps, clapping a hand over his neck, biting down on his lip.

“So, a weird night?” Jeonghan asks, looking down at his coffee with a little hum.

“I, um,” Seokmin stumbles, still holding onto the side of his neck, face burning. “Y- yeah.”

“And I take it wasn’t with your handsome friend,” Jeonghan continues, and Seokmin is rapidly becoming certain that no matter what he tries to say to get himself out of this, his ship might already be sunk.

“I went home with Soonyoung-hyung,” he says, because there’s no way to really get around it. Despite his suspicion that Jeonghan already figured him out, Jeonghan’s mouth turns immediately down into a sharp frown.

“Not for a sleepover,” he says as if the mark on Seokmin’s neck wasn’t a clear enough indicator of how much sleeping really happened.

“No, hyung,” Seokmin says, shaking his head with an attempt at a laugh. Jeonghan does not smile back at him. Seokmin continues smiling at him; in the past, it’s worked to cheer up pretty much everyone he knows.

Smiling through the things that bother him has been Seokmin’s best strategy for pretty much his whole life, and there’s no reason for him to stop trying it now. This time, however, Jeonghan refuses to be drawn in by the warmth of Seokmin grinning at him.

“Stop looking at me like that,” he says, his voice almost a snap. He has his arms crossed on the table in front of him. “I knew something like this was going to happen.”

“Something like what?” Seokmin says, laughing, though the sound feels wrong when it leaves his mouth. As much as he’d like to pretend otherwise, he knows exactly what Jeonghan is talking about. Trying not to think about isn’t making Seokmin feel any better about the uncertainty hanging over his relationship with Soonyoung.

“Like this,” Jeonghan says, scowling once again at Seokmin’s neck. “ _Are_ you dating him now? Did I just not get to hear the news?”

“No,” Seokmin says, the smile on his face faltering just a little. “It wasn’t… a dating kind of encounter.”

“So you just,” Jeonghan gestures his hands vaguely, shaking his head as he speaks. “Had sex with Soonyoung? Just like that?”

“I guess,” Seokmin says, giving up on his effort to try and cheer Jeonghan up for the moment. It’s more than that, though. Seokmin isn’t a fan of dwelling on negative feelings, his own most of all, and as much as he understands Jeonghan’s frustration… the more he thinks about things with Soonyoung the more doomed the whole situation seems.

And the last thing Seokmin wants from this morning is to realize that he might have well and truly destroyed one of the relationships he cherishes the most.

“Seokminnie,” Jeonghan says, shaking his head with a slow sigh, and it isn’t until he feels the first hot drop on his cheek that Seokmin realizes he’s crying at all. He tries wiping it away, though it’s useless at this point. Jeonghan has already seen him and he’s helpless to stop himself.

“I don’t know,” he says, his voice coming out thick and damp. He shakes his head, trying desperately to stem the now rapid spill of tears from his eyes, shoulders shaking a little with the wasted effort. “I didn’t think about what I was doing, I just—”

Seokmin is painfully aware that he’s sitting outside a popular cafe crying, but he can’t do much to stop himself. Everything is hitting him at once, a rush of emotions that Seokmin doesn’t know how to even begin to process.

Jeonghan is quiet for a moment before his chair scrapes across the concrete ground, moving close enough to pull Seokmin into an embrace, petting the back of his head. “I’m sorry.”

Somehow, that makes Seokmin feel worse about the situation. It’s like a confirmation that he really has ruined everything beyond repair. He lets himself be pulled against Jeonghan’s chest without complaint, still trying to wipe his eyes.

He isn’t released until the slight quaking of his shoulders has stopped and he’s managed to grind the last tears out of his eyes with the palms of his hands, knocking the glasses on his face askew. Jeonghan leans back in his seat, looking at Seokmin with a slight frown on his face. “Do you want me to get rid of him?”

“No,” Seokmin says, and he sounds even more miserable than before, shaking his head. “He didn’t do anything wrong, hyung. This is my fault.”

For once, Jeonghan doesn’t take the chance to gloat about how Seokmin should have listened to him. He hands Seokmin a napkin instead, sighing. “You have to talk to him.”

“I can’t,” Seokmin says, sitting up and biting down on his lip, surprised by the volume of his own voice. He clears his throat, ducking his head to look down at his lap for a moment before looking back at Jeonghan. “I don’t wanna make everything worse.”

“So you’re just going to pretend it never happened at all?” Jeonghan asks, his voice sharp with doubt. “That’s not fair to either of you, is it Minnie?”

“He’s probably thinking it was a stupid mistake anyway,” Seokmin says, trying to convince himself that it’s true. “Soonyoung-hyung… he doesn’t feel that way about me. I know he doesn’t.”

Jeonghan scowls at him, leaning back further in his seat and pushing his fingers back through his hair, shaking his head. “You should let me take care of it.”

Seokmin, in spite of himself, laughs at that, laying his head on Jeonghan’s shoulder. “Soonyoung-hyung didn’t do anything wrong.”

“I told him not to let something like this happen,” Jeonghan says, though he’s sulking more than actually arguing. Seokmin wonders if he should send Soonyoung a message about the impending threat of Jeonghan but he’s not sure if it would make much difference in the end.

He’s also not sure he wants to try messaging Soonyoung at this point. Everything feels too raw, too confusing, he’s not sure he would even know what to say without feeling like he was utterly losing his mind.

Jeonghan makes a face when Seokmin smiles reassuringly. “Quit trying to make me feel better about it.”

“I don’t want you to be mad at Soonyoung-hyung,” Seokmin says, shaking his head. Jeonghan sighs, but the scowl is fading from his expression at least. “You can buy me food if it'll make you feel better.”

Finally, he manages to get a laugh out of Jeonghan. “Fine. Tell me what you want.”

**{* * *}**

Soonyoung probably should have called before showing up at Seungkwan's apartment. He's running the risk that he won't be there at all, given how many nights he spends sleeping over with his boyfriend. 

But, short of Seokmin, Seungkwan is the best person Soonyoung knows to go to with these matters. And Seokmin isn't exactly an option right now for talking out his feelings. He could always try Jihoon if Seungkwan really isn't around, but the thought alone makes Soonyoung shudder. 

Soonyoung bites his lip, knocking softly on the door, shifting his weight between his feet. There's the sound of movement inside the apartment and Soonyoung almost sighs in relief. Seungkwan opens the door with his eyebrows lifted, looking surprised to see Soonyoung standing there. 

“Hyung! Were we supposed to hang out today?” He asks, his head cocked to the side. He lets Soonyoung in anyway and Soonyoung shakes his head. 

“No, but you're not busy, right?” Soonyoung asks, trying to smile when Seungkwan shakes his head. “I kinda need some… Advice.”

“Advice on what?” Seungkwan asks, light and curious, sitting down next to Soonyoung on the couch. 

“Um, okay. So a few of us went out last night,” Soonyoung starts, rubbing the back of his neck. “And I sort of ended up taking someone home with me.”

“Okay…” Seungkwan prods, his voice going wary. “You didn't sleep with Wonwoo-hyung, did you?”

“Gross,” Soonyoung says, shaking his head with a laugh. “No, I slept with Seokmin.”

He can't blame Seungkwan for laughing at that. It certainly sounds like a joke, but when he realizes that Soonyoung is staring at the floor rather than laughing with him, he abruptly stops. The silence makes Soonyoung feel small like he's a kid getting in trouble once again. Seungkwan is giving him a look that Soonyoung would almost call horrified and he does his best to smile normally. “It was, um a good time. At least I think it was.”

“You slept with Seokmin?” Seungkwan repeats, shaking his head. “As in you, two had sex last night?”

“That's what the phrase means, yes,” Soonyoung says. His stab at humor goes unappreciated. Seungkwan shoots off of the couch with a distressed sound, shaking his head and throwing his arms up. 

“Oh my God!” He says, pacing the length of his living room, not even looking at Soonyoung anymore. “Oh my God.”

“I don't think it's that big a deal,” Soonyoung says, though that isn't entirely true. It does feel like a big deal. It felt that way as soon as Seokmin left his apartment and Soonyoung realized he was sad to see him go like that. Seungkwan turns on him at that, shaking his head hard. 

“Not a big deal?” He asks, voice loud. He pinches the bridge of his nose between two fingers. “Not a big deal. You had sex with Seokmin but it's no big deal?”

Soonyoung is starting to think that might have been the wrong thing to say. “Is it a big deal? It was kinda just a drunken accident.”

Seungkwan looks like he could gladly throttle Soonyoung for that. “Hyung, you don't get it. You can't call it a mistake. Not with Seokmin.”

His voice is more even, more serious. Soonyoung blinks at that, rubbing the back of his neck. “I mean, I'm not upset about it or anything but I don't know if it was a good idea.”

“It wasn't,” Seungkwan says, shaking his head. “You didn't tell him that, did you? That you thought it was just an accident.”

“No,” Soonyoung says, leaning back in his seat. “But we didn't really get a chance to talk about anything.”

“Please don't,” Seungkwan says, sitting down once again. “I mean, you should talk to him, obviously. But please don't tell him it was a mistake, whatever you do. I don't wanna see him get his heart broken like that.”

“What?” Soonyoung asks, a nervous laugh getting stuck in his throat. “What'd you mean get his heart broken?”

Seungkwan pauses, his mouth open for a moment before shaking his head. “I shouldn't have said that.”

“I'm not gonna cut him out or anything,” Soonyoung says, though it feels like that should be obvious. He isn't sure he would even know what to do with himself if he didn't have Seokmin. “I kind of thought that we might… I don’t know.”

“I can’t talk to you about this,” Seungkwan says, leaning back and shaking his head. Soonyoung frowns, leaning over to grab his shoulder and shake him.

“It’s important,” Soonyoung says, frowning. “I don’t wanna mess anything up!”

“You shouldn’t have slept with him then,” Seungkwan says, shoving Soonyoung off of him. “What did you think would happen?”

“I didn’t,” Soonyoung says, flopping over the couch, his chest deflating as he sighs. “I just— I didn’t really think about anything. We just…”

Soonyoung rails off, making a gesture with both hands that earns him a sharp glare from Seungkwan. “You should’ve thought about it. Seokmin…”

“He’s a grown-up, you know,” Soonyoung says, grumbling sharply and sitting up. “It’s not like I took advantage of him or something.”

“He’s in love with you!” Seungkwan snaps, shaking his head hard. Soonyoung freezes, staring at Seungkwan with his mouth slightly open. Seungkwan seems to only then realize exactly what he’s said. For a moment, they’re both silent.

“What do you mean?” Soonyoung says though it’s hard to take a statement like that any other way. “Seokmin’s not… he’s my best friend.”

“He’s in love with you, hyung,” Seungkwan says, apparently resigned to sharing now. “He has been forever.”

The certainty in Seungkwan’s voice is impossible to argue with and Soonyoung’s stomach flutters strangely. “Forever? When did he…?”

“Second year of college,” Seungkwan says, sighing softly. “But I knew before that. I think I figured it out before he did.”

“He never said anything to me,” Soonyoung says and he’s surprised by the fact that it hurts him to realize that.

“I know,” Seungkwan says, giving Soonyoung’s shoulder a squeeze. “I tried to get him to— I knew it was going to end up a mess with this dating stuff.”

Soonyoung doesn’t know how to answer that. His brain is still trying to process the fact that his best friend is _in love_ with him— it’s something he’s never even considered before. He’s hardly in a position to argue with Seungkwan on the matter.

But then, he’s never thought about dating Seokmin until recently, either, and yet he was on the verge of asking Seokmin exactly that before he left.

“Just… don’t tell him it was a mistake,” Seungkwan says. Soonyoung swallows, looking down at his hands gathered in his lap.

“Do you think I should, um,” Soonyoung shakes his head, looking up at Seungkwan with a nervous smile. “What if I want it all to be for real?”

Seungkwan raises one of his eyebrows, tucking his ankles over one another. “Are you telling me you want to date Seokmin?”

“Kind of? I think so,” Soonyoung says, feeling his face heat up. He hasn’t actually admitted it to anyone else so far, and even saying it just to Seungkwan makes his stomach twist with nerves.

The glare that Seungkwan shoots at him certainly doesn’t make him feel any better. “Is that because you feel bad about all of this? Because if you think dating him out of pity is going to make it any better…”

Soonyoung knows that there’s almost no one quite as protective of Seokmin as Seungkwan is, save maybe for Jeonghan. But he’s not used to that protectiveness being turned against him and it stings more than he expects it to. “It’s not about that at all!”

Seungkwan purses his lips a little like he’s debating if he believes Soonyoung or not. Soonyoung sighs, scratching the back of his head. “When we were at the wedding… my sister said something about how me and Minnie work well together and it’s just stuck with me, I guess.”

“Your sister thought he was already your boyfriend,” Seungkwan says, a small frown still on his face.

“Nah, she didn’t believe me,” Soonyoung says, laughing a little. “But maybe she’s right. There’s no one I get along with nearly as well as Minnie, anyway.”

“I’m not going to tell you no,” Seungkwan says and Soonyoung takes that itself as a victory. If he gets past Seungkwan’s muster he’s better off than most of the people Seokmin has dated. Soonyoung smiles at him, laughing softly.

“Are you giving me permission to date Minnie?” He asks, and Seungkwan rolls his eyes, but he smiles just a little.

“Only if you don’t screw it up,” he says, shoving at Soonyoung’s shoulder. Soonyoung laughs, rubbing the back of his neck. 

“I’ll try. I should go, I guess,” Soonyoung says, pushing himself up to his feet. He doesn’t really have anything to attend to, but he doesn’t want to waste Seungkwan’s whole day while he reexamines his entire life. He pauses, his brow furrowing. “Does anyone else um, know?”

“Jeonghan-hyung figured it out for himself,” Seungkwan says, scratching the back of his head. “He told Minghao and Mingyu a little bit ago, I think.”

Soonyoung tosses his head back between his shoulders with a small groan. “That’s why he was pissed at me last week.”

“Probably,” Seungkwan agrees, a small smile on his face. Soonyoung tries to match it, though he mostly fails.

“How mad do you think Jeonghan is gonna be when he hears about this?” Soonyoung asks, his smile falling away again. He doesn’t blame any of his friends for taking Seokmin’s side in all of this, not really. Soonyoung is sure that if it were someone else, he’d be just as mad.

“Remember that guy in college who cheated on Seokmin-hyung?” Seungkwan asks, lifting both of his eyebrows. Soonyoung’s stomach twists, both with nerves and a little residual anger of his own. Seungkwan nods his head, apparently taking Soonyoung’s scowl as an answer of its own. “About that mad, I think.”

Soonyoung cringes, looking down at his feet before sighing, his shoulders slumping. “You know I didn’t mean to do anything that would hurt him.”

Seungkwan smiles more kindly in response than Soonyoung probably deserves. “I know, hyung.” 

He mumbles a farewell on his way out, stuffing his hands into his pockets.

Really, he means to just go home. It doesn’t even enter his mind to go over to Seokmin’s apartment, and by the time he actually gets there it’s a blur. He stares at the door with a small scowl, pulling his hand out but uncertain if he should actually knock.

“Hyung?” Seokmin’s voice is soft and Soonyoung whips around in surprise, dropping his hand to his side. Seokmin smiles, though he still seems nervous, shifting his weight a little. “Did you need something from me?”

“I think we need to talk,” Soonyoung says, tucking his hand back into his pocket, doing his best to smile in return.

**{* * *}**

Seokmin’s hand definitely shakes a little as he stuffs his key into the lock, and he’s left praying that Soonyoung won’t notice. He steps inside first, holding the door open for Soonyoung while he kicks his shoes off.

“What’s up?” He asks, even though he’s sure he knows already. Soonyoung hesitates, shoving the door shut behind him and looking down at his feet. Seokmin can’t help but feel like he knows what’s on his mind and he swallows hard, doing his best to stand still even as panic bubbles up in his throat.

“About last night,” Soonyoung says, his head ducked a little still, rubbing the back of his neck and Seokmin is pretty sure he could die on the spot.

“It was just a mistake, right?” Seokmin asks, looking at Soonyoung as directly as he can. It hurts less hearing himself say it than hearing the same words from Soonyoung. He’s convinced himself already that it’s better this way— the best path for preserving their relationship.

Soonyoung’s eyes blink wide at that, his lips parting like he’s unsure of what to say. Nervous, Seokmin keeps talking. “I mean, I know we were both drinking and stuff and it’s not like we need to make a big deal out of it, right? It was just…”

He trails off, watching the frown on Soonyoung’s face get deeper and deeper as he continues talking

“You really think so?” Soonyoung says after a long, quiet moment passes. Seokmin hesitates before shrugging his shoulders. 

He doesn’t think he could share with Soonyoung what he really thinks. But Soonyoung’s shoulders are curled slightly inward and Seokmin loses track of all the things he does mean to say. “I mean, it wasn’t a bad mistake but I don’t think… I think we should just forget about it.”

He does his best to smile, even though he can feel the corners of his lips shaking with the effort of holding the expression on his face. He can’t make sense of the look on Soonyoung’s face like he’s not sure he’s hearing Seokmin correctly. He’s still standing with his body shied a little away from Seokmin, not quite meeting his eyes.

It’s better this way, Seokmin reminds himself, sucking a deep breath into his lungs. “Is that okay, hyung?”

“If that’s what you want,” Soonyoung says, meeting Seokmin’s eyes for the first time since he walked in the door. “We can just… forget it. It was just some silly, drunken fling.”

There’s something off about the way he says it like he has to grind each word out between his teeth. Seokmin shifts his weight nervously between his feet, the corner of his lip trapped between his teeth. He opens his mouth only to find he doesn’t know what he’s supposed to say, curling his hands into loose fists.

Unfortunately, that means his usual fear-response kicks in and his mouth starts running without a thought. “That’s good! I didn’t want it to be weird, you know? Or to make you think that I went out with you just because I was thinking about sex because I definitely never thought about sleeping with you. I’m not gonna do it in the future, either, even though we already sort of—”

“Minnie,” Soonyoung says, cutting him off with a shake of his head. “I’m gonna go home.”

“Oh,” Seokmin says, the word coming out with all the air in his lungs attached. It hits him like a punch to the gut and Soonyoung is back to not meeting his eyes once again. “You sure? We could go get lunch or something…”

“You just had lunch with Jeonghan-hyung,” Soonyoung says, shaking his head. It’s not playful, like usual, and he doesn’t smile or roll his eyes like he does when he thinks Seokmin is being silly. “I’m not hungry, anyway.”

“I could have another lunch,” Seokmin says, quick enough for it to count as desperate. It’s obvious that he’s screwed things up, whether now or last night he isn’t sure, but he’s scared of letting Soonyoung go and their friendship disappearing with him. “Or we could go see a movie? Or go running?”

He tosses the last option in in the vain hope that it’ll make Soonyoung laugh, but he just shakes his head. “Seokmin-ah, I’m just tired.”

Every syllable falls into place with a formality that’s entirely unfamiliar to Seokmin. He closes his mouth slowly, swallowing the choking certainty that everything is ruined forever the best he can, at least enough to speak again. “Are we okay?”

“Yeah,” Soonyoung says and at least he doesn’t have to pause to think this over. He ventures a smile, small and uncertain. “We’re good, Minnie.”

After the door shuts behind Soonyoung’s back, Seokmin is still wondering if there’s any way for him to make that true.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So originally this fic was supposed to return 6 chapters, but in the process of editing the 6th ended up being just way too long to be a single chapter so... You're getting one extra week with me!


	7. new world

Too early on a Sunday morning, Seokmin finds himself at the door of Seungkwan’s apartment, adjusting his glasses before pounding his fist loudly against the door.

He’s probably going to wake up all of Seungkwan’s neighbors, either with his knocking or with the way Seungkwan is going to yell at him for showing up so early.

But, to his surprise, it’s not Seungkwan that answers the door but Hansol, shirtless with a pair of pajama pants hanging low on his hips. Next to his leg, Daisy is trying to poke her fluffy white face out the door, her body wiggling from side to side in her excitement to greet whoever is at the door.

Tired as the both of them are, it takes them a moment to realize neither of them are seeing who they were expecting.

“Um,” Seokmin says finally, shaking his head. “Is Seungkwannie home?”

“He had some errands to run,” Hansol says, a lazy smile on his face. He shoos Daisy gently out of the way with one leg, propping the door open to let Seokmin in. “He should be back pretty soon.”

“Okay,” Seokmin says, standing in the middle of the entryway with a slightly forlorn look on his face. Hansol has already vanished back into Seungkwan’s bedroom, hopefully, to find himself a shirt, leaving Seokmin standing by himself.

He doesn’t mind it terribly, running his fingers through his messy hair before looking down at Daisy, a weak smile on his face.

“Hey girl,” he says softly, kneeling down next to her and rubbing the soft fur between her ears. “It’s been a little while since I’ve seen you, hasn’t it?”

The dog seems like she’s smiling back at him, mouth open and tongue hanging out, lapping eagerly at Seokmin’s cheek. He turns his head into it, rubbing the thick ruff of white fur around her neck and shutting his eyes.

He barely slept the night before, lying awake and thinking over and over about the hurt look on Soonyoung’s face before he’d walked out the day before. He’s dwelling on it still, wondering if Soonyoung is even going to want to talk him again after he’s made such a mess of things.

There’s a crushing pressure in the middle of his chest like the whole thing has started to cave in for the express purpose of smashing his heart to pieces. There’s no one to blame but himself, of course, and he knows Seungkwan is going to tell him exactly that. He can feel his shoulders shaking with the effort of holding even more tears in.

Seokmin leans into Daisy a little more, pressing his face against her fuzzy neck and shutting his eyes tightly, his glasses pressing into his nose at an odd angle. He doesn’t really register Hansol’s quiet footsteps across the floor behind him and so when Hansol leans down to touch his shoulder gently, it’s a surprise.

He jolts back, dropping his arms and rushing to fix his glasses, looking up at Hansol with a forced bark of laughter, hoping his eyes aren’t damp. “Sorry, I’m squishing your dog.”

This might be the first time Seokmin has seen Hansol without one of those wide, toothy grins on his face. He remembers, distinctly, making a bet the first time Hansol asked Seungkwan out that he wouldn’t last three dates before Seungkwan got sick of having a big, goofy jock around.

“You alright, Seokmin-hyung?” Hansol asks, leaning his head slightly to the side. Seokmin nods his head too quickly, wiping his face on the long sleeve of his sweater, trying to smile still.

“I’m just a little tired,” he says, shaking his head. “I probably woke you up, didn’t I? I’m sorry.”

“Nah,” Hansol says, shaking his head. “You saved me from getting yelled by Seungkwan when he gets home.”

Seokmin picks himself up from the floor with a strained little laugh, not sure if he should hang around in the hopes of Seungkwan showing up before he embarrasses himself further. He’s not even sure what he’s here to say, really.

There’s a subdued smile on his face, the best thing he can manage, plopping himself down on Seungkwan’s couch with a long sigh. “How’s getting Kwannie to move in with you going?”

“He said he’s thinking about it,” Hansol days, one of his shoulders lifting in a shrug as he sits as well. Daisy takes her place next to him, laying her head in his lap to make sure he pets her head.

“He’s just being stubborn. He’ll come around to it,” Seokmin says, shaking his head. It makes him laugh sometimes, realizing that out of all his friends Seungkwan has managed to have the most functional relationship. He certainly has Mingyu and Minghao beat with their endless arguing. 

He’s got Seokmin beat as well, he pretty much always has.

“Choi Hansol, I swear if you’re still taking up my bed I’m throwing you in the laundry with the sheets,” Seungkwan says, swinging the door open. Daisy barks twice, abandoning Hansol scratching her ears to twine around Seungkwan’s legs as he pushes the door shut. He smiles, leaning down to blow kisses at her. “I’m glad you’re up at least, Miss Daisy.”

Seokmin can’t help his laughter, doing his best to muffle it behind his hands. Seungkwan blinks his eyes, standing and looking at the two of them sitting on the couch before sighing dramatically. “What happened now?”

“Nothing,” Seokmin says, more on impulse than an actual desire to lie about it. He hesitates as soon as the word is out of his mouth, rubbing his neck before Seungkwan even has his face set in a disapproving look. “Soonyoung-hyung and I had a fight, kinda.”

Seungkwan’s mouth tightens into a line and he glances at Hansol, then back at Seokmin, like he’s weighing what he should do. Hansol blinks his eyes slowly, looking back at Seokmin.

“You did? That sucks,” he says, flopping back further on the couch like he’s making space for Seungkwan to sit down. “You guys don’t usually fight, right?”

“Not really,” Seokmin says, looking down at his lap with a laugh that sticks in his throat. Seungkwan hums a small, sympathetic sound as he sits, shaking his head.

“Am I allowed to say that I told you so?” He asks, shifting slightly to lean into the drape of one of Hansol’s long arms over his shoulders. The motion is so small Seokmin isn’t sure if he’s even aware of it.

“I already heard it from Jeonghan-hyung,” Seokmin says, scratching the back of his neck. Seungkwan blinks twice, his lips parted for a moment before shaking his head.

“Okay. Well… did you two talk about it?” He says, sighing when Seokmin’s eyes dart off to the side. “You said you got in a fight.”

“It wasn’t really a fight I just…” Seokmin swallows, looking at Seungkwan then Hansol. He figures Hansol has probably heard the better part of this story anyway. “I told him I thought it was a mistake.”

“You did _what_?” Seungkwan says, jerking up out of Hansol’s loose grasp with wide eyes. “Seokmin-hyung! Why the hell would you do that!”

“It seemed like the best thing to do!” He says, raising his hands defensively in front of his chest. “I didn’t want to make things any worse…”

“Why didn’t you tell him?” Seungkwan asks, standing up and pacing a quick circle around the coffee table. “I can’t believe you slept with Soonyoung-hyung and you called it a mistake!”

“It was a mistake,” Seokmin says, his voice sounding quieter in contrast to Seungkwan’s distressed shouting. “We shouldn’t have done it in the first place.”

“You shouldn’t have done any of this in the first place,” Seungkwan says, shaking his head. “If there was any time you should have told him how you felt it was now.”

“I just wanna move past the whole thing,” Seokmin says, sinking further into the couch in the hopes that it might swallow him up. “I was hoping he’d just… forget about it.”

Seungkwan stares at him, his face twisted into a frustrated expression that Seokmin knows too well before he sighs, his shoulders slumping. “He’s your best friend, Seokmin-hyung.”

“I know,” Seokmin says, feeling like a scolded child. “I wanna keep it that way.”

“He deserves to know,” Seungkwan says, finally sitting on the couch once again. “Especially after all this.”

“I think Soonyoung-hyung will get it,” Hansol says, surprising Seokmin when he pipes up. “He seems cool, and you’ve been friends forever.”

“He was being weird earlier,” Seokmin says, chewing on his lower lip. Seungkwan is right, of course; Seokmin won't be able to get through this without actually talking things out with Soonyoung properly.

But he can’t quite get over his anxieties about everything and that’s enough to stop him short.

“You’ve already seen what happens when you don’t listen to me,” Seungkwan says, ruffling Daisy’s ears between his fingers and shaking his head. “I hate watching the two of you make a mess of things like this.”

Seokmin laughs, low and strained, shaking his head. “Yeah, I do too.”

Seungkwan’s lips tighten, and Seokmin stands before he can get swatted on the back of his head. 

“I’ll figure something out,” he says, which is the least comforting thing that’s come out his mouth in recent times. Seungkwan hangs his head with a long groan and that makes Seokmin laugh, this time for real. “Promise.”

“Don’t mess it up further,” Seungkwan says, just before the door swings shut behind Seokmin.

**{* * *}**

Through a mix of stubbornness and perhaps a little bit of fear, Soonyoung goes three days without calling Seokmin.

It’s not easy, and for every minute that ticks by Soonyoung finds himself wanting to call Seokmin, or to text him a picture of a puppy, or to barge into his apartment and apologize and kiss his stupid face. He doesn’t do any of those things because Seokmin doesn’t want him to. 

Seokmin wants to forget, and Soonyoung just needs a little bit of time to make that happen. He can forget that the two of them fucked, he can forget that Seokmin’s in love with him but doesn’t want him, he can forget all of it. But it’s going to take longer than three days and Soonyoung is worried that if he caves now he’ll give in to the hurt feelings that make him crave answers.

So, Soonyoung avoids Seokmin, even if he feels shittier for it every day.

His pathetic attitude doesn’t go entirely unnoticed.

“The hell is the problem with you today?” Jihoon says, kicking the back of Soonyoung’s leg as he stares absently at the menu hanging behind the counter. They’re in the coffee shop that Jihoon always wants to go to. He’s got the staff trained in what he likes, it seems, and when the girl behind the counter hands over his coffee Jihoon even smiles at her for a quick half second.

On any other day, it’d be shocking, but Soonyoung is too absorbed in trying _not_ to think about Seokmin and he almost doesn’t even notice it.

“Are you gonna order something, idiot?” Jihoon asks, his voice louder after being ignored the first time.

“Iced Americano,” Soonyoung blurts out without taking time to actually think about it, passing money over the counter before shuffling out of the way. Jihoon looks up at him with both eyebrows raised, his lips pressed into a flat line.

“I’m just tired,” Soonyoung answers, even though Jihoon hasn’t actually asked him anything yet. He’s much more likely to kick Soonyoung again, anyway.

Soonyoung takes his coffee when it’s handed to him, following Jihoon to a table and sitting down with a sigh. He can feel Jihoon giving him a look across the table and as much as he’d like to just ignore it, he glances up and his resolve crumbles.

“I got um,” he pauses, trying to think of a way to phrase things without spilling the whole story out. “Turned down, I guess.”

“So you’re just sulking?” Jihoon asks, cocking an eyebrow as he pulls the lid off his coffee, blowing the steam away from his face.

“I guess,” Soonyoung says reluctantly, shaking his head. “I dunno it just…”

The corners of Jihoon’s lips turn down as Soonyoung keeps talking, looking like he’s not sure he wants to hear the rest of this story.

Soonyoung shakes his head, sinking back into his seat with a long sigh. “I’ll get over it.”

“It’s Seokmin, right?” Jihoon says after nursing a few sips of his coffee, careful not to burn his tongue. Soonyoung bolts upright in his seat, blinking his eyes rapidly.

“What makes you think—”

“You’re not that subtle,” Jihoon says, rolling his eyes. “You’ve been practically dating him for weeks already.”

“That’s not what’s been going on,” Soonyoung grumbles, sipping his coffee with a frown.

“Right, that’s why you don’t care that he shot you down,” Jihoon says, a little bit of a smirk catching on his face. 

“Do you have to be smug about it?” Soonyoung says, setting his cup on the table with a sigh.

“I’m not being smug I think you just should’ve opened your damn eyes,” he says, shaking his head.

“Didn’t work out either way,” Soonyoung says, biting the inside of his lip.

“How’d you fuck up, then?” Jihoon says, still sounding just a little too amused. “I figured that was pretty much a sure thing.”

“You thought me and Seokmin were a sure thing?” Soonyoung asks, fighting the urge to laugh a little at that. Jihoon shrugs one of his shoulders.

“Pretty much.”

“So much for all that,” Soonyoung says, resisting the urge to flop back in his seat dramatically.

“That’s what I’m wondering what you did,” Jihoon says, his small fingers wrapping around the cup in front of him, tapping a little rhythm.

“Slept with him,” Soonyoung admits, reluctant yet again. “He said we should just forget about it.”

“Ouch,” Jihoon says, wrinkling his nose. “Did you tell him you didn’t wanna?”

“I didn’t really get a chance,” Soonyoung says, slouching his shoulder and leaning his cheek on his hand. “That was the first thing he said. That it was a big mistake and we should forget about the whole thing.”

“You didn’t argue with him?” Jihoon asks and Soonyoung shakes his head.

“Nah. I went home,” he sighs, pushing his fingers back through his hair. “I have to go talk to him.”

“Yup,” Jihoon says, nodding his head with a little smirk.

“He’s gonna shoot me down again,” Soonyoung says, making himself more miserable as he talks. Jihoon rolls his eyes, looking like he could gladly smack Soonyoung.

“Keep sounding like that and I’ll say he’s right to,” he says, a little huff in his voice. “Your self-pity is hardly attractive.”

“Thanks for the pep talk,” Soonyoung says, sitting up and shaking his head. “I should call him, I guess.”

“Or go over there,” Jihoon says, putting the lid back on his coffee and standing. “You’re more annoying on the phone.”

“Because you get to see my charming face?” Soonyoung asks, tilting his chin back and smiling brightly, scrunching his nose a little.

“Definitely not that,” Jihoon says, but Soonyoung catches the quick quirk of a smile at the corner of his mouth. He stands as well, grabbing his drink and wrapping his arm around Jihoon’s neck.

“You’re so nice to me,” he coos, laughing as Jihoon tries to shove him away.

It’s easier, clinging to Jihoon and pretending there isn’t a gnawing pit of nerves in his stomach waiting to swallow him whole.

**{* * *}**

Seokmin is not expecting someone to be knocking on his door this late in the evening.

He’s not expecting anyone to knock on his door most of the time except for the outside chance that Jeonghan is going to burst in his door and announce that he’s decided to get rid of Soonyoung once and for all.

So when he opens the door to see Soonyoung himself standing there, the surprise makes his heart jump into his throat. He hasn’t heard anything from him since their last disastrous conversation and he was starting to lose hope that he was ever going to find a way to fix things.

But there Soonyoung is, hands tucked in his pockets, his shoulders tight around his ears like he’s trying to hide between them.

“Hey,” he says, trying to act like he’s not seconds away from fainting.

“Hey,” Soonyoung says, glancing up at Seokmin before looking down at his feet. “Can we talk?”

“Yeah,” Seokmin says, stepping out of the doorway to let him in. He swings the door shut, backing several feet away. Seokmin doesn’t even realize he’s done it until he’s stuck halfway between Soonyoung and the couch.

Soonyoung seems to realize that Seokmin is still running away, his shoulders dropping. “I should’ve called first.”

“No, it’s fine,” Seokmin says quickly, holding his hands up in front of him. “I um, I wasn’t doing anything.”

“I wanted to talk to you,” Soonyoung says like he needs an explanation for turning up at Seokmin’s door. It makes Seokmin feel worse, realizing that he’s pushed their friendship that far in such a short time.

“Okay,” Seokmin says, biting the inside of his lip. “We can talk.”

“It’s about the other night,” Soonyoung says, rubbing the back of his neck. Seokmin swallows hard, trying to keep his hands from shaking.

“Right,” he says, his voice coming out softer than he means it to. “What um, what about it?”

“I just don’t get it,” Soonyoung says, and it seems like he’s looking at Seokmin properly for the first time. “Did I do something wrong?”

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” Seokmin says, too quickly, not taking any time to think about it. “I just… I think it’s better if we both forget about it.”

“I went to talk to Seungkwannie,” he says, and for a long moment, Seokmin isn’t sure how to take that. But his mind manages to catch up and he freezes in place, blinking his eyes rapidly.

“Did he…?” Seokmin asks, his voice softer than he intends it to be. Soonyoung nods and with him staring, Seokmin feels like he’s barely a foot tall.

“You think it was a mistake?” Soonyoung asks again, rubbing the back of his neck and looking at the floor. “I don’t get it.”

“Hyung, I just,” Seokmin starts, holding his hands up in front of him. There’s a pounding ache in the center of his chest, like the fracturing of his heart is a real, palpable thing. Seokmin knows he’s caught, it would be hard to ignore, but the irrational panic of having Soonyoung learn about his feelings chokes him. He flounders, trying to find anything to explain.

Soonyoung sighs softly, taking a step toward him. When Seokmin takes an instinctive step back, he pauses, biting hard on his lower lip. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I couldn’t do that,” Seokmin says, clenching his shaking hand into a fist. “I didn’t… it would’ve ruined everything.”

“What’d you think I was gonna do?” Soonyoung asks, a bitter smile on his face. “You’re my best friend, Minnie. I wouldn’t have done any of this if you told me.”

“I know,” Seokmin says, leaning his back against the couch and shaking his head. “That’s why I didn’t say anything.”

Soonyoung’s brow furrows at that, not understanding, and Seokmin lifts his head with a frown. “It would’ve changed everything— I didn’t want that. You wouldn’t have asked me to meet your parents, or go out to clubs, or try to set me up on dates. Things would be weird. I knew… I know you don’t feel like that about me.”

“Minnie,” Soonyoung says, reaching out towards him this time. Seokmin bites his lip, already backed against the couch he doesn’t have the strength or the space to escape when Soonyoung comes close to him. “That’s not—”

Soonyoung stops himself and standing only a foot away Seokmin can see the way he swallows hard like he’s gathering courage for what he wants to say.

“It’s okay,” Seokmin says, even though his voice shakes over the words. He’s so used to being betrayed by his own heart that this hardly seems like anything more than what he’s used to. It’ll hurt later, he knows, after he’s no longer panicking that he’s ruined everything. “I don’t expect anything, really. I just… I didn’t want to ruin it.”

“What are you going to ruin?” Soonyoung says, shaking his head and taking another step closer. He’s pressed into Seokmin’s space now, and though he’s shorter, Seokmin feels boxed in between Soonyoung and the couch. “I’m trying to tell you that I wanna do this for real, you idiot.”

“What?” Seokmin says, his voice barely a breath at all. His eyes must be close to popping out of his face because Soonyoung’s face scrunches into a smile. His whole chest seizes, his heart stuttering a bruising rhythm against the inside of his ribcage.

“I’ve been thinking about it for awhile,” Soonyoung says, ducking his head a little. “I mean, I didn’t realize… all of this but I’ve been thinking about the two of us since we went to that wedding.”

Seokmin opens his mouth to respond only to find he doesn’t have anything to say. Soonyoung’s smile is still there, but softer, more hesitant. He reaches up one hand, touching the side of Seokmin’s jaw softly. “If I kiss you are you going to faint?”

“I don’t think so,” Seokmin says, bracing his hands against the couch just in case. Soonyoung laughs, leaning up just a little to press their lips together, using his hand against Seokmin’s jaw to guide his head just a little to the side so their lips fit properly together.

Seokmin’s eyes are shut before Soonyoung’s mouth even touches his, and when he leans into the kiss he can feel the lift of Soonyoung’s lips into a smile. It’s a far more gentle kiss than anything from the night before, and Seokmin is pretty sure it’s the best kiss he’s ever gotten in his life.

He doesn’t open his eyes until Soonyoung leans back, his head lowered a little, fingers toying idly with the hem of Seokmin’s shirt. He’s about to ask if he somehow managed to mess up the kiss when Soonyoung looks up at him again, his lower lip caught between his teeth.

“Will you be my boyfriend for real, Lee Seokmin?” He asks, and here Seokmin really is at risk of fainting. He’s never thought of anything like this as a real possibility and now that it’s right in front of him all he can do is nod his head dumbly.

It makes Soonyoung laugh, leaning in to kiss him again. This time at least, Seokmin is more prepared for it, lifting his hand to cup the nape of Soonyoung’s neck, kissing him back with more enthusiasm than is strictly required. Soonyoung pulls back after a moment, his lips still close to Seokmin’s still tipped up into a smile that Seokmin wants to press his mouth into for the rest of his life. 

“I’m sorry,” Soonyoung says after he kisses Seokmin again (and again, and again, until Seokmin is dizzy). He sounds sad and Seokmin leans back far enough to take Soonyoung’s face in as a whole, his head tilted to the side.

“What are you sorry for?” He asks, shifting his back against the couch. It would probably be a good idea for them to move, maybe to the couch, maybe to some other part of Seokmin’s apartment that’s better suited for making out but for the moment Seokmin is happy to just hold onto Soonyoung right where he is.

“This was all so stupid,” Soonyoung says, shaking his head. “I should’ve realized how you felt, at least.”

“I didn’t want you to find out,” Seokmin says, his voice a gentle reminder. He bites his lip, steeling his nerves before leaning forward and stealing a kiss from Soonyoung’s lips. Soonyoung’s head tilts, pressing his mouth back into Seokmin’s, letting his tongue brush over Seokmin’s lower lip softly.

“So we were both stupid,” he says when Soonyoung leans back again, feeling a little breathless still.

Soonyoung laughs, the corners of his eyes crinkling, nodding his head. “Yeah, I guess so.”

Really, Seokmin doesn’t have much of a problem with that.

**{* * *}**

Truthfully, Soonyoung didn’t mean for the two of them to end up in Seokmin’s bed like this. But, spending his whole evening standing against Seokmin’s couch and making out wasn’t exactly the most comfortable thing for the either of them.

And he doesn’t mean for it to go any further than laying in bed side-by-side and just… taking his time to really enjoy how nice kissing Seokmin is.

So he really doesn’t _mean_ to have both of his hands slipped under the hem of Seokmin’s shirt, fingers mapping out the warm skin of his chest. There’s a sort of starstruck expression on Seokmin’s face when Soonyoung leans back from kissing him and it makes Soonyoung giggle.

“You still with me?” He says, pecking a kiss to the point of Seokmin’s nose, fingers lingering over his ribs. Seokmin nods his head, a small smile growing on his face as he tilts back far enough to look Soonyoung in the face.

“Yeah,” he says, curling his fingers hesitantly around Soonyoung’s hip. He licks his lips, laughing quietly. “Yeah. I’m just… processing.”

“Processing?” Soonyoung asks, still smiling as he tickles the tips of his fingers over Seokmin’s ribs. The laugh he manages to tease out of Seokmin feels like something golden and special to Soonyoung and he kisses the corner of Seokmin’s mouth. Seokmin turns into the kiss, his fingers going tighter around Soonyoung’s hip, mouth opening at the brush of Soonyoung’s tongue over his lower lip.

Seokmin makes a soft groaning sound, pressing himself closer to Soonyoung and it’s definitely not his fault that heat starts to bubble up in his stomach.

He wouldn’t have thought that there was still so much for him to learn about Seokmin, having already been close to him for so long. But, there’s so much about holding Seokmin close to him like this, kissing him, finding out where he’s sensitive that’s entirely new to Soonyoung. Seokmin sighs when Soonyoung’s teeth drag over the side of his neck, his breath shaking a little and Soonyoung can’t help but grin.

Soonyoung drops one hand to grip Seokmin’s thigh, pulling him closer and squeezing the thick muscle of it under his hand. Seokmin grins a little, looking down at Soonyoung’s hand gripping his leg, their hips pressing together, laughing just a little.

“Are you feeling me up, hyung?” He asks, his voice warm and amused and Soonyoung nods in return, sliding his hand along Seokmin’s thigh.

“Absolutely,” he says, nipping the lobe of Seokmin’s ear. “I told you, your booty is important.”

Seokmin laughs, but it gets tangled up with a groan as well. “I don’t think that’s exactly what you said.”

“You sure?” He asks, a grin on his face as he nudges Seokmin to the side, rolling so he’s kneeling on the bed in front of Seokmin, pushing his knees apart with a laugh. “I’m pretty sure I was explicitly talking about your ass.”

He settles himself between Seokmin’s thighs as he talks, squeezing both of them before sliding his hands up to grip Seokmin’s ass with both hands. Seokmin chuckles again, but it’s more strained, stuck in the back of his throat. It’s easy to see how Seokmin is hard in his jeans when Soonyoung looks down at him, his lip caught between his teeth and a flush on his cheeks.

It’s a wonder that Soonyoung made it this far in his life without recognizing just how sexy his best friend is. He’s known Seokmin is _attractive_ of course, with his friendly smile and his strong jawline, but he’s never thought about it in more concrete terms than that. But it’s not like he can ignore it now with Seokmin spread out on the sheets underneath him, his shirt riding up enough to reveal the bottom of his stomach.

Soonyoung pulls one hand away from Seokmin’s ass to push his shirt up further and bending over to press his mouth to the tanned skin of Seokmin’s stomach, nipping at the arch of his hip and pushing his jeans down a little to make more space. Seokmin groans, resting one hand on Soonyoung’s shoulder.

“Hey,” Seokmin says, jolting Soonyoung out of his focus. Soonyoung blinks, a slow smile building on his face.

“Yeah?” He says after a moment, his smile growing when Seokmin’s does as well.

“Do you want to, um,” he starts, his eyes darting off to the side. Soonyoung has his chin resting on Seokmin’s hip, looking up at him and licking his lips. Seokmin hesitates, brushing his fingers through Soonyoung’s bangs. He doesn’t make it to the end of his thought and Soonyoung pinches his hip with a laugh.

“Do I wanna what?” He asks, cupping his hand around Seokmin’s thigh and pressing his palm against the hard line of his cock. Seokmin groans softly, his hips arching into Soonyoung’s touch.

“Fuck,” he says, his head leaning back further and Soonyoung isn’t sure if that’s the end of his question or just a curse.

“Sure,” he says, more smoothly than he really feels. It was easier before, with alcohol fueling his courage. Seokmin laughs again, rolling his head to the side to look down at Soonyoung.

Soonyoung sits up on his knees, still teasing his thumb along Seokmin’s cock, watching his breath stutter in his chest. His other hand is pushing Seokmin’s shirt up further until Seokmin takes the hint and sits up to pull it off.

He kisses Soonyoung when their faces come close together, nipping at his lower lip and sliding his hands up the back of Soonyoung’s shirt to coax it over his head as well. He strokes his fingers down the bare skin of Soonyoung’s back.

“I wanted to ask if you’d fuck me,” Seokmin says, his voice soft against Soonyoung’s lips. Soonyoung shuts his eyes, pressing his forehead against Seokmin’s with a groan.

The question is unexpected on top of how the experience of fooling around with Seokmin makes him feel like a fumbling teen all over again. He pushes his body forward into Seokmin’s, kissing him again before peeling his eyes open.

“You want me to?” He says, smoothing his palms over Seokmin’s legs. He sounds breathless, even to his own ears and Seokmin’s face flushes, leaning back on his palms.

“Yeah,” he says, looking at Soonyoung with the corner of his lip caught between his teeth. “I’ve kinda always—”

Soonyoung cuts him off with a kiss, pulling Seokmin tighter against him. He knocks the both of them back to the bed, his hips pressing down into Seokmin’s. Seokmin laughs into the kiss, sliding his fingers into Soonyoung’s hair to hold onto him.

“’M gonna make you feel so good,” Soonyoung says between kisses, pushing a hand between them to pinch open the button of Seokmin’s jeans. 

He kisses him once more before sitting up on his knees to tug Seokmin’s pants down around his thighs. The look on Seokmin’s face isn't quite a smile, his lips slightly parted as he helps Soonyoung pull his pants off with a wiggle of his hips.

One of his hands cups around Seokmin’s cock through his briefs, his thumb pressing the slit. Seokmin groans softly, pushing up into Soonyoung’s hand and biting down on his lip. With his other hand, he pushes Seokmin’s thighs apart a little further, settling with his stomach on the bed so he can nip the inside of Seokmin’s thigh, soothing his tongue over the little red mark his teeth leave.

Seokmin’s voice gets louder as Soonyoung keeps digging his teeth into the inside of his thighs, moving up further each time. He moves his hand to kiss the shaft of Seokmin’s cock through his briefs, fingers digging into his hips. He glances up, watching Seokmin pitch his head back and whimper, trying to push up into the light pressure of Soonyoung’s mouth.

“Soonie,” he says, whining. It makes Soonyoung pause for a moment, wondering when the last time he heard Seokmin call him that. He takes pity on him, rather than teasing him even further, hooking both thumbs under the waist of his briefs and tugging them down. He kisses the slick tip of Seokmin’s cock, dragging his tongue over the slit of it.

“Hey,” Soonyoung says, after drawing his tongue down the shaft of Seokmin’s cock just to hear the sound he makes, long and drawn out. “I need lube.”

Seokmin huffs out a strained laugh, rolling half to the side to dig in the drawer of his nightstand to dig it out. Soonyoung shifts, kicking his jeans off while Seokmin is searching. He drops it on the bed within Soonyoung's reach, the smile on his face tempered by the bright red flush climbing from his neck to his cheeks. It makes Soonyoung smile, grabbing it and pushing Seokmin's thighs further apart. He slicks the lube over his fingers, kissing Seokmin's cock again as he teases the first finger around the tight rim of his ass.

As far back as he can remember, there's never been another encounter he's wanted to savor so much. Sex is a physical activity and just like with dancing Soonyoung has always liked being good at it. But rarely has he felt like his heart was so invested. 

It's a little silly, maybe, to think that fucking Seokmin will erase some of the hurt that Soonyoung caused, no matter how well he does. But Soonyoung figures it can't exactly hurt, either. He peppers the base of Seokmin's cock with small kisses as he slides his finger in, using his other hand to pin Seokmin's hips down to the bed as he can. Seokmin still manages to squirm a little, his thighs pressing against Soonyoung's shoulders as his legs try to jolt closed.

Soonyoung smiles, sucking a little messily on the head of Seokmin's cock as he starts thrusting his finger slowly. Seokmin's hole is tighter than anticipated and Soonyoung bobs his head a few times, hoping to help him relax. Seokmin groans, rolling his hips up as much as he can, the tight hold of his muscles relaxing. Soonyoung teases his tongue along the ridge running down the shaft of Seokmin's dick, adding another finger once he's more relaxed. 

More focused on working Seokmin open with his fingers, Soonyoung's mouth ends up slick and loose around his cock. It doesn't stop Seokmin from trying to push his hips up still, trying to bury himself further in Soonyoung's mouth.

He groans again when Soonyoung presses another finger in, twisting his wrist to stroke the pads of his fingers over his prostate. Seokmin jerks, his voice going loud, legs squeezing Soonyoung's sides. Soonyoung rubs his fingers gently back and forth until Seokmin is panting, his back lifted in a long arch, eyes shut. Soonyoung lifts his mouth away from Seokmin's cock just to take a moment to take in the sight of him.

He looks amazing, and Soonyoung is so, so stupid for never having realized it before. He mouths at the crease of Seokmin's thigh, nipping the sensitive skin and thrusting his fingers again. Seokmin gasps, reaching out to grasp at Soonyoung's shoulder, lip caught between his teeth. 

Soonyoung turns his head to kiss the back of Seokmin's hand. He looks up at Seokmin with a little grin on his face, stroking two fingers over his prostate again. He can feel Seokmin’s thighs shaking, struggling to hold in another loud moan. Soonyoung eases the pressure off after a moment, kissing Seokmin’s hip before sliding his fingers out.

Seokmin tugs on his shoulder, pulling Soonyoung up and lurching forward to kiss him, almost crashing their teeth together. Soonyoung wraps his hand around the back of Seokmin’s neck, pulling him closer. Seokmin makes a sound that gets lost against Soonyoung’s mouth, fingers burying themselves in his hair in return.

It’s hard for Soonyoung to make himself pull away enough to situate himself properly between Seokmin’s legs, stroking his fingers gently over Seokmin’s side. He leans forward enough to snag one of the pillows that they’ve almost knocked off the bed, sliding it under Seokmin’s hips with a little grin.

“You good?” He asks, both hands still lingering on his hips. There’s a grin on Seokmin’s face that makes something warm bubble in Soonyoung’s stomach, twisting up with the burning heat that’s already seeped its way into his spine. He licks his lips when Seokmin nods, pushing his boxers down his legs and digging between the two of them until his fingers curl around the bottle of lube.

He squeezes it into his palm, slicking it over his cock with a little hiss at the cold and the friction. Seokmin reaches out, closing his fingers around Soonyoung’s and guiding his strokes until Soonyoung groans a little, his hips pushing forward into both their hands.

Seokmin kisses him again, biting a little at Soonyoung’s lip as he lets go of his hand.

“Yeah,” he says, and the smile on his face is leaning toward shy. “Really good.”

Soonyoung laughs, lining the slick head of his cock up and biting his lip, tightening his fingers around Seokmin’s hips. He leans in before he starts sliding his cock in, pressing his lips to Seokmin’s once again. It’s lingering this time, slow and sweet.

He’s slow and careful, sliding himself in, holding tightly onto Seokmin. Seokmin groans, his legs tangling around Soonyoung’s waist, arching up towards Soonyoung. Soonyoung leans into it, pressing them together chest-to-chest. 

He groans when he slides in all the way, his hips held snug against Seokmin’s by Seokmin’s thighs squeezing around his waist. He presses his face into Seokmin’s neck, trying to adjust to the incredibly tight squeeze of Seokmin’s body around his cock.

Seokmin’s chest shudders a little strangely against Soonyoung’s, his breath getting caught around several sharp breaths. Soonyoung sits up quickly, blinking down at him. Seokmin has his face turned to the side and it takes a moment for Soonyoung to realize it’s in an effort to hide the tears leaking out of his eyes.

Soonyoung blinks, alarm making him freeze for a moment, releasing Seokmin’s waist to cup both hands around his cheeks, turning him to face forward again.

“Minnie? Shit… are you okay?” Soonyoung asks, his voice quivering a little. Nothing like this has happened to him since the time he and one of the boys on his soccer team in high school were fumbling their way into each other’s jeans for the first time. He shifts, intent on pulling out to make sure he’s not hurting Seokmin at all only to be surprised by Seokmin’s legs squeezing tighter around his waist.

“I’m fine,” he says, after a moment, opening his eyes slowly. There’s definitely still tears welling up and Soonyoung wipes them away as gently as he can with his thumbs. “I’m fine, it’s just…”

He trails off but Soonyoung catches onto the message anyway. He ducks his head, kissing his forehead, his cheeks, still holding Seokmin’s face between his hands, a small smile on his face.

“You get so emotional,” he says, not quite scolding but more amused. Seokmin laughs, or at least makes a sound that’s close, nodding his head.

“Sorry. I know the crying isn’t exactly sexy,” he says, relaxing the tight grip of his legs a little. Soonyoung lifts one of his shoulders in a shrug, curling his fingers to pet Seokmin’s hair.

“You were overcome by the euphoria,” Soonyoung says, kissing the tip of his nose. “Happens to me all the time.”

“I really just… I love you,” Seokmin says, hesitating. Soonyoung stares down at him, lips parted a little.

Seokmin hadn’t actually said it before, and even though Soonyoung knew already, it’s entirely different hearing it come so softly from his lips.

Soonyoung’s heart has never been so full. He buries his face in Seokmin’s shoulder, arms winding tight around him.

“You’re gonna make me cry too,” he says, his complaints muffled into Seokmin’s skin. Seokmin lets out a little sigh, relief like he was thinking Soonyoung might still push him away.

“You know I love you too, yeah?” Soonyoung asks, lifting his face but finding he’s too shy to look at Seokmin properly. He means it, of course. He’s always loved him, in one form or another and this doesn’t feel like a great difference.

He’s glad for it— the chance to pour his heart into Seokmin’s— to give him all the affection he’s deserved for so long. He kisses Seokmin's cheek softly, brushing his bangs away from his face with a small smile.

“You okay?” He asks, letting his fingers linger on the side of his face. Seokmin nods, using the grip of his legs around Soonyoung's waist to roll his hips up a little, making Soonyoung's cock slide in deeper. Soonyoung tries to swallow the groan that rises up in his chest, glad for the permission to finally move. He thrusts his hips slowly, his jaw clenched at just how tightly Seokmin's body wraps around him. 

Seokmin groans, low and deep in his throat, his legs falling further apart easily when Soonyoung's palms press down on his thighs. He presses his forehead against Seokmin's collarbone, his breath coming out in a hard gasp as he thrusts his hips forward again, more force behind it this time.

Under him, Seokmin arches his back, his fingers digging hard into the bare skin of Soonyoung's back. He's clinging to Soonyoung like he's going to drift away if he lets go, pushing his hips up in short bursts. Soonyoung holds tighter onto his thighs, each thrust slow and deep, drawing long groans out of the middle of his chest.

He lifts his head away from Seokmin's chest to chase another kiss, their mouths meeting messily in the middle. He shifts the angle of his hips just enough to push the head of his cock into Seokmin's prostate, grinding their hips together. Seokmin’s head falls back, his mouth open another groan and Soonyoung kisses along the line of his neck instead.

“Fuck, Soonyoung,” Seokmin says, a groan getting tangled in his voice. His nails dig into Soonyoung’s shoulders, digging thin crescents into his skin. Soonyoung shifts enough to wrap his fingers around Seokmin’s cock, dragging his thumb over the slit.

Seokmin jerks up into his hand, rolling his hips into the tight circle of Soonyoung’s fingers. Soonyoung increases his pace, unable to keep himself from whining as Seokmin squeezes tighter around him. He can feel Seokmin’s legs shaking around his hips and he twists his wrist, biting an imprint of his teeth into his collarbone.

He can feel Seokmin shaking as he comes, biting his lip to try and restrain the loud shout that rises up in his throat. Soonyoung gasps, his pace faltering as Seokmin’s muscles flutter around his cock. He grabs one of Seokmin’s hands, linking their fingers together and grinding his hips harder into Seokmin’s. Seokmin lifts his head to press a kiss to Soonyoung’s temple, still holding onto him.

Soonyoung buries a whimper in Seokmin’s shoulder as he comes, holding tightly onto his hand. He can feel Seokmin’s fingers petting through his sweaty hair as he thrusts through his orgasm, holding onto him in return.

Soonyoung collapses against him with a groan, rolling his head to the side to look up at Seokmin with a tired grin. Seokmin’s smile in return is bright and wide and it makes Soonyoung feel light as air. He slides his cock out of Seokmin gently, kissing his cheek and rolling the two of them to the side to cuddle Soonyoung more closely.

“Hey,” Soonyoung says, kissing Seokmin’s nose gently. Seokmin laughs, his nose wrinkling a little.

“Hi,” he says, stroking his fingers along Soonyoung’s back. Soonyoung sort of wants to ask if he did a good enough job to measure up to whatever Seokmin might have had in mind before, but there’s no real way to ask without sounding a little bit pathetic. So he nuzzles into Seokmin’s cheek instead, still doing his best to catch his breath.

“Should I um, say thank you?” Seokmin says after a minute, leaning back to look down at Soonyoung with a grin. Soonyoung giggles, rubbing his thumb over the back of Seokmin’s hand.

“You might inflate my ego too much,” Soonyoung says, laughing as he gets tucked under Seokmin’s chin.

“Wouldn’t want to risk that,” Seokmin says, humming. “We should probably take a shower or something.”

“Mm, in a minute,” Soonyoung says, shutting his eyes and pressing a small kiss to Seokmin’s chest. “I’m comfy.”

“Alright,” Seokmin says, chuckling. “In a minute then.”

**{* * *}**

“Going out with Mingyu-ya means he’s treating us, right?” Seokmin asks, leaning his shoulder on Minghao’s shoulder, watching him carefully flip a piece of pork with what can only be described as lust in his eyes. Seated across the table from the two of them, Mingyu frowns.

“That definitely isn’t what it means,” Mingyu says, looking up to glare at Seokmin as much as he’s able. Jihoon rolls his eyes, jabbing his elbow into Mingyu’s side.

“Cook,” he says, narrowing his eyes when Mingyu turns to frown at him as well. “If you burn my food I will make you pay for it.”

Mingyu sighs without trying to argue with that, prodding at a piece of beef and shaking his head. “You’re all mean. Where’s Soonyoung-hyung, anyway?”

“Late,” Minghao says, shrugging the shoulder that Seokmin hasn’t claimed for himself. His stomach does a funny, excited flip at the mention of Soonyoung’s name. It’s only been the space of a few days since they started really, actually dating and still when Seokmin thinks about it, it doesn’t seem real. “His last lesson ran over.”

“And you left him there?” Jihoon asks, grinning when Minghao nods his head.

“Why wait for him when I can have food?” Minghao says, slapping Seokmin’s hand away when he reaches to try and snatch a too-hot piece of meat for himself. He rolls his shoulder to knock Seokmin off of him, a little frown on his face. “Down.”

He’s not doing a good job of hiding his amusement and Seokmin grins in return. His smile only gets wider when he looks up to see Soonyoung making his way over to them, sitting up straight in response. Minghao spares him a small glance, the corners of his lips tilting downward.

The slight frown on his face lasts until Soonyoung makes his way around to their side of the table, taking a seat next to Seokmin before leaning in to kiss him. Seokmin smiles, leaning in to kiss him in return.

He doesn’t realize until after Soonyoung breaks the kiss that the rest of them have gone dead silent. Seokmin’s face goes bright red, mouth open to say something even though he has no idea what. Jihoon has both his eyebrows raised, a little grin on his face like he’s not at all surprised.

Mingyu and Minghao, however, are wearing disturbingly similar expressions of total surprise. Soonyoung doesn’t look as bothered as Seokmin feels, reaching over to take hold of one of Seokmin’s hands. “You’re gonna burn the pork.”

Mingyu snaps out of his shock before Minghao does, yelping and plucking the meat off of the grill before it gets a chance to actually burn, piling it up carefully. Usually, that would be enough to absorb Seokmin’s attention for the rest of the night but Minghao has him pinned with a glare.

“Rewind,” Minghao says, staring at the both of them. “Explain.”

“Do you want me to kiss him again?” Soonyoung says, giving Seokmin’s hand a squeeze. Seokmin’s face flushes further at that, even as he laughs. “Because I’m happy to do it.”

“No,” Minghao says, almost at the same moment Jihoon does. Soonyoung’s smile only gets wider, his eyes curving upward. “I want someone to tell me what the hell is going on.”

“This is my boyfriend,” Soonyoung says, tossing his arm over Seokmin’s shoulder, clinging to his back. Seokmin leans back into the hug with a grin.

“I’m his boyfriend,” Seokmin repeats, his heart lurching in his chest. Minghao’s expression stays skeptical for a moment, measuring the smile on Seokmin’s face.

“Are you two trying to fuck with me?” Minghao asks. Soonyoung laughs, pressing his cheek into Seokmin’s neck, shaking his head.

“Of course not,” Soonyoung says, his arms tightening around Seokmin’s sides. “Why would we be trying to do that?”

“You literally have been lying to your parents about dating him for _months_ ,” Minghao says, turning back to the food, shaking his head. “You’re both idiots.”

Jihoon laughs at that, clapping his hands together. Soonyoung pouts a little in return at that, looking at Seokmin with a little huff. Seokmin smiles, pressing a small kiss to Soonyoung’s cheek before grabbing a piece of meat and carefully passing it back to him. Jihoon’s laughter fades out and Soonyoung grins at him as he takes it, settling mostly back into his seat.

He keeps a hold of Seokmin’s hand though and Seokmin can’t seem to wipe the smile off of his face. Mingyu is looking similarly pleased, though it’s clearly not shared by Jihoon and Minghao.

“You’re not gonna be like that all the time, are you?” Jihoon asks, looking up from carefully assembling a disturbing tower of meat to be devoured.

“Like what?” Seokmin asks, leaning into Soonyoung without a thought. Jihoon squints, gesturing at their linked fingers with his chopsticks.

“Like that,” he says as if he’s explained everything. Minghao nods his head slightly in agreement.

“Clingy,” Minghao says, nodding once again.

“Yes,” Soonyoung says, looking at the both of them with a grin. “Just because you two are cynical monsters doesn’t mean everyone is.”

“Seokmin-ah took at least four years to get his shit even mildly together,” Minghao says, rolling his eyes. “Even Mingyu did a better job than you.”

“I still think you’re a cynical monster,” Mingyu says, grinning when Minghao shoots him a glare. “What? You won’t even match your phone with mine!”

“Because that’s stupid,” Minghao says but the corners of his lips are tilted up in a smile. In spite of the combined complaining of Minghao and Jihoon, Soonyoung doesn’t detach himself from Seokmin. He wiggles his way a little bit closer instead, fingers still linked together. 

It makes it a little harder to eat but Seokmin doesn’t mind. He has a hard time keeping a smile off of his face and when he glances over at Soonyoung it’s clear he’s struggling with the same thing. It’s funny how easily the two of them have slipped into the intimacy of being together.

It’s a surprise to Seokmin, perhaps even more than it is to Soonyoung. He’s spent so long up to this point assuming that no matter what he did that the two of them wouldn’t— couldn’t— work out as a couple. But it feels as natural as his relationship with Soonyoung always has.

There’s sure to be awkwardness in the future; growing pains, moments when the two of them fight. Seokmin is aware of these things. But he also knows Soonyoung and he’s sure that if there’s anyone he can work through anything with, it would have to be him.

But for the moment, Seokmin is just happy to have things the way they are.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, there it is!!! I hope you all enjoyed this fic, and I wanna take a the moment to say that I appreciate all the comments, kudos and bookmarks y'all left, the response has been so incredible and sharing this story has been such a joy. And a big thanks again to Hoshi for putting up with me and helping edit, Shaye for helping me come up with the plot, and everyone on twitter who cheered me on!
> 
> You can catch me on twitter @dumbkyeomie if you wanna talk as well!


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